foreversaved1949
New member
This is a long one, sry
Baby boy is 3 months on Friday, so I'm graduating from this thread. Thought I'd share my wisdoms before I go.
Skip ahead for the tips.
Started writing this waaaay before he was better but it helped me remember that it would get better. No 31 y/o man cries and screams all day and only sleeps on his mum's chest (we hope) so my mantra is "it'll be better next week" "it'll be better next week" "it has to be better next week."
Oobvi based on my particular baby - born at 37 weeks bc cholestasis risk, 6 days NICU for respiratory care.
He started being real gassy ~3 weeks old (not adjusting his age, that's too much work for me) doc said just let him grow, maybe try a probiotic. Never got better. Finally got him on meds (0.3 ml famotidine once per day) at 9 weeks. First week was just as bad, if not maybe worse? Turns out the meds made him a bit dehydrated - gave as much milk as he would drink. A few days of that and he started smiling. Like at me and on purpose, not fart smiles. He's still got the witching hour grumpies, and cries when he needs something. It's so worth it to see those big smiles and finally hear what will one day be a laugh. It was a long, hard road, and things are far from perfect, but geez they are so much better. But this week has been awful again, though I think it's gastro - fussy, farts, diarrhea. SO WE'LL SEE. At 12 weeks he sleeps 4-5 hours at night, then wakes every 2 to eat. He HATES the car. He gets really over-stimulated if he hasn't had a nap. He'll basically only contact nap. Starts shouting 6.30 or 7 pm, usually lasts an hour. But it usually feels like at least he's just mad, not in pain. Frustrated at being a baby. We're all very excited for him to get bigger.
*tl;dr - get the meds, keep him hydrated. Pro tip: play the Moo Mesa intro song.
Things that helped him (at least a little)
- Dr Talbot's colic+gas apple juice
- mini fan blowing in his face
- going outside - probably the most effective thing. When nothing else would soothe, I just walked him around the drive way (bc he somehow knew when we were just in the backyard??)
- eating
- sucking- nipple, paci, his hands, my arm
especially right after being given meds
- honestly the 5 s's sometimes. Swaddle for sure - we used the love to dream w the lil gingerbread man arms.
- the intro songs for old cartoons - Cowboys of Moo Mesa is his fave. Also Speed Racer and Swat Cats.
- probably more my panicked brain forgot
Things that helped me (at least a little)
- over ear headphones. Dragula.
- earplugs
- earplugs underneath headphones.
- going outside
- reddit
- doc telling me he is very healthy
- The Great British Baking Show
It helped me a lot to hear that it's ok to let him cry. If he's crying and you've checked all the things- fed, changed, burped/farted, tried soothing, w.e nothing working- don't break your back trying to get him to stop. He's in a safe place in your arms, so even if you're just sitting there for 2 minutes instead of circling the couch for the 101st time today, he's ok.
Don't stress about him sleeping - what I mean is, let him sleep. Even if it's been x hours since he's been changed or fed, wait until he wakes up properly and starts crying. Also, cosleep if it works for you. Dude slept on my chest, belly to belly, almost exclusively for like a month when it was really bad. Maybe save the sleep training for when he's better. There's already a lot going on, don't put more pressure on yourself.
Let people help. My husband's job isn't particularly difficult but it's a good 50 hours a week, so I felt bad asking him to help w the baby in the evenings. But I was really struggling. And it's his kid too. Also if MIL offered to buy you a rocking chair, even if you don't find one you like until 2 months after the babe is born, see if that's still open cos those are expensive. Did your really Christian aunt offer to baby sit? Do it! You can't convert a 10 week old and you need a break, I'm sure. Does your dad say he wants every opportunity to see the baby, but he lives 5 hours away? Pick a day every month so you can both plan ahead. You are not a burden. Your baby is not a burden. Let people help.
And then there were days when none of it worked and we both cried and screamed and when my husband finally got home I'd get to escape to the bathroom for 5 minutes.
SO it's a lot. Like so much more than I bargained for (iykyk). But I still want 4 or 5 kids. But we'll see how the next one turns out. Cos if he's like this again then hubs is getting the chop asap.
GOOD LUCK. I love you.
Baby boy is 3 months on Friday, so I'm graduating from this thread. Thought I'd share my wisdoms before I go.
Skip ahead for the tips.
Started writing this waaaay before he was better but it helped me remember that it would get better. No 31 y/o man cries and screams all day and only sleeps on his mum's chest (we hope) so my mantra is "it'll be better next week" "it'll be better next week" "it has to be better next week."
Oobvi based on my particular baby - born at 37 weeks bc cholestasis risk, 6 days NICU for respiratory care.
He started being real gassy ~3 weeks old (not adjusting his age, that's too much work for me) doc said just let him grow, maybe try a probiotic. Never got better. Finally got him on meds (0.3 ml famotidine once per day) at 9 weeks. First week was just as bad, if not maybe worse? Turns out the meds made him a bit dehydrated - gave as much milk as he would drink. A few days of that and he started smiling. Like at me and on purpose, not fart smiles. He's still got the witching hour grumpies, and cries when he needs something. It's so worth it to see those big smiles and finally hear what will one day be a laugh. It was a long, hard road, and things are far from perfect, but geez they are so much better. But this week has been awful again, though I think it's gastro - fussy, farts, diarrhea. SO WE'LL SEE. At 12 weeks he sleeps 4-5 hours at night, then wakes every 2 to eat. He HATES the car. He gets really over-stimulated if he hasn't had a nap. He'll basically only contact nap. Starts shouting 6.30 or 7 pm, usually lasts an hour. But it usually feels like at least he's just mad, not in pain. Frustrated at being a baby. We're all very excited for him to get bigger.
*tl;dr - get the meds, keep him hydrated. Pro tip: play the Moo Mesa intro song.
Things that helped him (at least a little)
- Dr Talbot's colic+gas apple juice
- mini fan blowing in his face
- going outside - probably the most effective thing. When nothing else would soothe, I just walked him around the drive way (bc he somehow knew when we were just in the backyard??)
- eating
- sucking- nipple, paci, his hands, my arm
especially right after being given meds
- honestly the 5 s's sometimes. Swaddle for sure - we used the love to dream w the lil gingerbread man arms.
- the intro songs for old cartoons - Cowboys of Moo Mesa is his fave. Also Speed Racer and Swat Cats.
- probably more my panicked brain forgot
Things that helped me (at least a little)
- over ear headphones. Dragula.
- earplugs
- earplugs underneath headphones.
- going outside
- doc telling me he is very healthy
- The Great British Baking Show
It helped me a lot to hear that it's ok to let him cry. If he's crying and you've checked all the things- fed, changed, burped/farted, tried soothing, w.e nothing working- don't break your back trying to get him to stop. He's in a safe place in your arms, so even if you're just sitting there for 2 minutes instead of circling the couch for the 101st time today, he's ok.
Don't stress about him sleeping - what I mean is, let him sleep. Even if it's been x hours since he's been changed or fed, wait until he wakes up properly and starts crying. Also, cosleep if it works for you. Dude slept on my chest, belly to belly, almost exclusively for like a month when it was really bad. Maybe save the sleep training for when he's better. There's already a lot going on, don't put more pressure on yourself.
Let people help. My husband's job isn't particularly difficult but it's a good 50 hours a week, so I felt bad asking him to help w the baby in the evenings. But I was really struggling. And it's his kid too. Also if MIL offered to buy you a rocking chair, even if you don't find one you like until 2 months after the babe is born, see if that's still open cos those are expensive. Did your really Christian aunt offer to baby sit? Do it! You can't convert a 10 week old and you need a break, I'm sure. Does your dad say he wants every opportunity to see the baby, but he lives 5 hours away? Pick a day every month so you can both plan ahead. You are not a burden. Your baby is not a burden. Let people help.
And then there were days when none of it worked and we both cried and screamed and when my husband finally got home I'd get to escape to the bathroom for 5 minutes.
SO it's a lot. Like so much more than I bargained for (iykyk). But I still want 4 or 5 kids. But we'll see how the next one turns out. Cos if he's like this again then hubs is getting the chop asap.
GOOD LUCK. I love you.
