Hello, I’m a single father(27) of 3 kids and I have a really hard time talking about my story so I figured maybe I could type something out and post it here since I do want to talk about it, or let someone read it, but I prefer to do it anonymously. My story is a trip, but here it goes.
On my 18th birthday I threw a party at a lake, got completely drunk, and got taken to the backseat of a random car where all I remember is me looking at the back window all fogged up. Yup, I didn’t know it at the time, I was drunk, young and dumb, but I was being taken advantage of. We will call her mom (A). I wake up in the front seat of my car with the biggest headache but I can’t leave since my car key is not on the key ring. I get out and see Mom (A) was sitting by a fire with some random ass dude that was making breakfast. I quickly say, “what happened last night?” and ask where tf my car key is. I go look by the fire pit and my key is sitting on top of a tiny dirt pile next to the fire pit. Wasn’t covered in much dirt, almost like someone took my key and placed it there. I look at mom(A) and I’m like I’m out. Well, 7 months, yes 7 months pass and I get a call from mom (A) telling me she’s pregnant. I couldn’t believe it, so now we’re at the hospital, baby is born and she doesn’t let me sign the birth certificate? I’m like ok? I buy a bunch of things for the baby once they’re home and she doesn’t take them even though she requested those things. She says the baby has eczema so I can’t see him? All these things just made me think the baby wasn’t mine. Excuse after excuse it was pretty ridiculous. I was depressed, thinking I’ll never be anything, never get a good job. I started doing drugs, drinking a lot, and people were calling me a dead beat dad when they didn’t know my situation. I ran away to a new city and had to make a new life. I went to college, got an apartment, eventually got a associates degree.
3 years passed until I finally saw pictures of my son where I saw he looked exactly like me. I made an effort to see him and mom (A) would let me see him at the park for a few hours until I could finally tell him I was his dad. He gave me the biggest hug and I will never forget it. Makes my throat knot up just typing it. His birthday was coming up so I wanted him to meet my family, meaning my siblings and mother. Well mom(A) was not having that. Instead she threw a fit when my family stepped out of the car threatening to leave etc. My family and my son had a great time. He got gifts and he had fun, after all he’s only 3. After that day mom(A) ignored me and blocked me from everything. I was finally starting to build a relationship and she took it just like that. 3 months later, after a lot of investigating and a lot of homework, I served her and took her to court. I won visitation, first supervised with grandma and then without her. Let me tell you, those visitations with grandma probably deserve it’s own thread. I had to drive every other weekend 8hrs round trip to see my son. It was nice getting to see him and spend time with him.
When I moved to this new city to start this “new life” I wasn’t sure what I was going to get into. I was a mess at the time and just wanted to party. This place made me grow up and also is where I met mom (N). When mom (N) was pregnant I didn’t believe it from the beginning. How could I? I was dumb and had just gone through that other mess with mom (A) 3 years ago. Eventually, I did visit the baby and she let me come over and feed the baby etc. Unfortunately, this city was no longer a ideal place for me to live since I couldn’t afford it anymore. I was placed on child support from mom (A) and everything where I was living was expensive. I left and was immature about the situation, eventually mom (N) served me and took me to court. She asked for child support and visitation since I wasn’t attempting to see the baby, but this was after I had moved back.
So now I’m in this city where I threw my party, mom (A) has me on child support with every other weekend visitations and mom (N) has me on child support with one visitation a month. I have a girlfriend who I think is the one, and at this point you should know my luck with women, nonexistent. My ex(gf) gets pregnant, let’s call her mom(V).
Mom(V) is pregnant and living with me, but we just can’t seem to get along. One night we argue and she decides she wants to leave. Well she doesn’t have a license, she’s pregnant, and I really didn’t want her to leave. Well yeah, bad mistake, I grabbed her by the arm and she fell to the ground. Middle of the night, I wake up, mom(V) is gone and two police officers are now taking me to jail. A day or two later I get served court orders regarding my son with mom (A) saying my visitations have been taken away immediately.
I go to court and there they are, mom(A), the mother of mom(A), and mom(V) all in the lobby of the courthouse talking about who knows what. I take a picture of them and just am amazed and confused. All of them testify against me but since my case for the arrest with mom (V) is ongoing they take my kid away.
Mom(V) puts a restraining order on me and does not end up showing up to any of the criminal court dates, only gets granted a restraining order since there is a criminal case on me. So now I have a criminal case, a restraining order through the criminal case, a restraining order through family court that mom (V) put in and all these other family cases with mom (A) and mom (N).
So what do I decide to do? Sounds crazy, but I served mom(V) and took her to court. I figured, since I have all the experience now might as well get it done early. It came back and bit me in the ass! Mom (V) told the judge the baby was not mine and that she had been cheating on me for a few months. The judge asked to get a DNA test but no body would accept me since she had a restraining order against me and all the doctors didn’t want to get involved. On top of everything the DNA was like $400 and as you may tell I am not that financially stable. I left it as is and walked away. I can walk away knowing I tried this time and I went and put in the effort.
Later that year, I got all my charges dropped, everything off my record, got both restraining orders taken away, I took anger management classes even when they weren’t required but I definitely impressed the judge. I got my son back, everything I wanted and requested, the judge granted. Mom(A) was pissed. Both my kids got to meet each other and build a bond. At the end of the day, I never blamed the kids. I wish the other moms were more like mom(N). She’s the chill co parent that works around my things and understands my situation with the other kids and moms.
A few years have passed and my kids get to share their own room, I have my own apartment, I have a steady job, I see my oldest every other weekend and my middle child once a month, I’m really just here for them. I recently messaged mom(V) and we’re supposed to meet at some police station to talk about things and maybe get me to visit my other kid. All I want in life is for my kids to grow up and know their siblings. I want to be there for them till they’re old and until I’m old. I want to guide them, I want to be a good dad and even though I’m not perfect, I will always try to give them everything I didn’t have. And not materialistically. Just a father, a father that gives a shit about them. As for dating, I think I’m older and more wise now. I believe I can handle a relationship I’m just a little scared, but can you blame me? Lol If you read through all of this, I thank you for reading my story and if you have any suggestions or comments, feel free, just please try not to be rude I’m sensitive af lol
“Every man gets two lives and the second one starts when he realizes he only has one.”
On my 18th birthday I threw a party at a lake, got completely drunk, and got taken to the backseat of a random car where all I remember is me looking at the back window all fogged up. Yup, I didn’t know it at the time, I was drunk, young and dumb, but I was being taken advantage of. We will call her mom (A). I wake up in the front seat of my car with the biggest headache but I can’t leave since my car key is not on the key ring. I get out and see Mom (A) was sitting by a fire with some random ass dude that was making breakfast. I quickly say, “what happened last night?” and ask where tf my car key is. I go look by the fire pit and my key is sitting on top of a tiny dirt pile next to the fire pit. Wasn’t covered in much dirt, almost like someone took my key and placed it there. I look at mom(A) and I’m like I’m out. Well, 7 months, yes 7 months pass and I get a call from mom (A) telling me she’s pregnant. I couldn’t believe it, so now we’re at the hospital, baby is born and she doesn’t let me sign the birth certificate? I’m like ok? I buy a bunch of things for the baby once they’re home and she doesn’t take them even though she requested those things. She says the baby has eczema so I can’t see him? All these things just made me think the baby wasn’t mine. Excuse after excuse it was pretty ridiculous. I was depressed, thinking I’ll never be anything, never get a good job. I started doing drugs, drinking a lot, and people were calling me a dead beat dad when they didn’t know my situation. I ran away to a new city and had to make a new life. I went to college, got an apartment, eventually got a associates degree.
3 years passed until I finally saw pictures of my son where I saw he looked exactly like me. I made an effort to see him and mom (A) would let me see him at the park for a few hours until I could finally tell him I was his dad. He gave me the biggest hug and I will never forget it. Makes my throat knot up just typing it. His birthday was coming up so I wanted him to meet my family, meaning my siblings and mother. Well mom(A) was not having that. Instead she threw a fit when my family stepped out of the car threatening to leave etc. My family and my son had a great time. He got gifts and he had fun, after all he’s only 3. After that day mom(A) ignored me and blocked me from everything. I was finally starting to build a relationship and she took it just like that. 3 months later, after a lot of investigating and a lot of homework, I served her and took her to court. I won visitation, first supervised with grandma and then without her. Let me tell you, those visitations with grandma probably deserve it’s own thread. I had to drive every other weekend 8hrs round trip to see my son. It was nice getting to see him and spend time with him.
When I moved to this new city to start this “new life” I wasn’t sure what I was going to get into. I was a mess at the time and just wanted to party. This place made me grow up and also is where I met mom (N). When mom (N) was pregnant I didn’t believe it from the beginning. How could I? I was dumb and had just gone through that other mess with mom (A) 3 years ago. Eventually, I did visit the baby and she let me come over and feed the baby etc. Unfortunately, this city was no longer a ideal place for me to live since I couldn’t afford it anymore. I was placed on child support from mom (A) and everything where I was living was expensive. I left and was immature about the situation, eventually mom (N) served me and took me to court. She asked for child support and visitation since I wasn’t attempting to see the baby, but this was after I had moved back.
So now I’m in this city where I threw my party, mom (A) has me on child support with every other weekend visitations and mom (N) has me on child support with one visitation a month. I have a girlfriend who I think is the one, and at this point you should know my luck with women, nonexistent. My ex(gf) gets pregnant, let’s call her mom(V).
Mom(V) is pregnant and living with me, but we just can’t seem to get along. One night we argue and she decides she wants to leave. Well she doesn’t have a license, she’s pregnant, and I really didn’t want her to leave. Well yeah, bad mistake, I grabbed her by the arm and she fell to the ground. Middle of the night, I wake up, mom(V) is gone and two police officers are now taking me to jail. A day or two later I get served court orders regarding my son with mom (A) saying my visitations have been taken away immediately.
I go to court and there they are, mom(A), the mother of mom(A), and mom(V) all in the lobby of the courthouse talking about who knows what. I take a picture of them and just am amazed and confused. All of them testify against me but since my case for the arrest with mom (V) is ongoing they take my kid away.
Mom(V) puts a restraining order on me and does not end up showing up to any of the criminal court dates, only gets granted a restraining order since there is a criminal case on me. So now I have a criminal case, a restraining order through the criminal case, a restraining order through family court that mom (V) put in and all these other family cases with mom (A) and mom (N).
So what do I decide to do? Sounds crazy, but I served mom(V) and took her to court. I figured, since I have all the experience now might as well get it done early. It came back and bit me in the ass! Mom (V) told the judge the baby was not mine and that she had been cheating on me for a few months. The judge asked to get a DNA test but no body would accept me since she had a restraining order against me and all the doctors didn’t want to get involved. On top of everything the DNA was like $400 and as you may tell I am not that financially stable. I left it as is and walked away. I can walk away knowing I tried this time and I went and put in the effort.
Later that year, I got all my charges dropped, everything off my record, got both restraining orders taken away, I took anger management classes even when they weren’t required but I definitely impressed the judge. I got my son back, everything I wanted and requested, the judge granted. Mom(A) was pissed. Both my kids got to meet each other and build a bond. At the end of the day, I never blamed the kids. I wish the other moms were more like mom(N). She’s the chill co parent that works around my things and understands my situation with the other kids and moms.
A few years have passed and my kids get to share their own room, I have my own apartment, I have a steady job, I see my oldest every other weekend and my middle child once a month, I’m really just here for them. I recently messaged mom(V) and we’re supposed to meet at some police station to talk about things and maybe get me to visit my other kid. All I want in life is for my kids to grow up and know their siblings. I want to be there for them till they’re old and until I’m old. I want to guide them, I want to be a good dad and even though I’m not perfect, I will always try to give them everything I didn’t have. And not materialistically. Just a father, a father that gives a shit about them. As for dating, I think I’m older and more wise now. I believe I can handle a relationship I’m just a little scared, but can you blame me? Lol If you read through all of this, I thank you for reading my story and if you have any suggestions or comments, feel free, just please try not to be rude I’m sensitive af lol
“Every man gets two lives and the second one starts when he realizes he only has one.”