My 11 y.o. daughter doesn't like her dad

@katrina2017 Nah. I haven't alienated this man and have done everything I could think of to keep their relationship afloat. He didn't even want to see her her first two years of life after we split, but I encouraged it enough that he would stop by my house once every other week or so and say hi to his daughter. We split up because he physically abused her as an infant. He was forced to go to mandatory parenting and anger courses.

But I'm the issue here..

By saying I'm no saint and that I have been "too emotional" I was indicating that no one is perfect in these situations and looking back in 10 years with more wisdom and life experience, I'm sure I will wish I did or said things a little differently.

Is there not a group for men's right activists on Reddit?
 
@katrina2017 I should clarify that I do not worry for her physical safety with him. The incidents that happened occurred with a colicky baby and a very young dad, only 23. I am not excusing what he did and that is the ONLY reason I left him. We were ill-suited in the long run, but could've had a decent enough family if not for that.

I've never told our daughter why we split up and I don't know if I ever will.

She has also said she is not afraid of him and he has never hurt her. I just wanted to clarify that.
 
@bluecoke541 Yeah this comment confused me too... the expectation is that the mom facilitates the relationship and the dad is responsible for none of the effort, yet then the claim is alienation.

Sounds like a lot of projection to me.
 
@katrina2017 She is trying to coparent though. At some point, it’s detrimental to force a child to visit a parent against the child’s will. She’s got the kid in counseling and it’s on the dad to repair the damaged relationship. He’s an adult; he doesn’t need his ex wife navigating this for him and it sounds like she’s done all she can do from her end anyways.

It’s not parental alienation when this mom has given the dad as much visitation as he wants, without a court order, and has been actively trying to facilitate visits between the two when the daughter doesn’t even want to go. This is the exact opposite of parental alienation.
 
@eppievillaruel I see. I was under the impression that she hadn't expended any effort to talk to the child and approach the father about it yet. Giving it your best go is certainly important. I suppose there's a tipping point where you have to move on, I didn't realize she's past that as it's just a post on the internet and I cannot know all of the details.
 
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