Looking for co-parenting book recommendations!

[mohmed]

I am looking for co-parenting literature recommendations for fathers. Separated one year, two daughters aged 3 and 5.

I have already purchased the following:

• High-Conflict Custody Battle - Dr. Amy J Baker, et al.
• The Co-Parenting Handbook - Karen Bonnell
• Co-Parenting 101 - Deesha Philyaw & Michael D. Thomas
• Co-Parenting from the Inside Out - Karen L. Kristjanson
• Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex - Dr. Amy J. L. Baker & Paul R. Fine
• Mindful Co-Parenting - Jeremy S. Gaies & James B. Morris
• Self-Centered Co-Parenting - Kathleen Bird
• Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters - Meg Meeker

Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks!

 

[hannah1819]

@mohmed I don’t have a recommendation, but it seems you’ve read a lot. Which of these books would you recommend the most?

 

[jh24]

@mohmed I don’t feel like books are necessary to treat your child’s other parent with respect, regardless of your feelings about them.

It boils down to a few simple things

-don’t shit talk them in front of your kids

-don’t fight or argue in front of your kids

-don’t keep them from your ex

-make plans during your time with them, unless your ex is flexible with time, but be respectful

Just be good people to each other.

 

[bluecoke541]

@jh24 That’s the majority of it but there usually is a lot more involved. Because someone can do do all of those things and still cause stress in other ways, like being late or withholding cs, refusing to discuss important issues etc.

 

[jh24]

@bluecoke541 I’d say all that is covered by “be good people to each other”

 

[bluecoke541]

@jh24 Simple enough right? But hard for some people.

 

[jh24]

@bluecoke541 I’m more curious how the people who can’t grasp that are somehow reading literal novels and those are hitting home lol

 

[mohmed]

@jh24 When one person is willing and trying to do all of the above but the other deliberately makes things difficult or refuses to cooperate, it is helpful to gather as much information as possible on the subject in order to try to make it work. Continuous learning and growing can never be harmful. There are always new tactics to try, new ways to alter perceptions, psychology to explore. Divorce happens for a reason, and often leaves behind stress, disagreements, hurt feelings, etc. Both parties are not always willing to "be good people," or "treat your child's other parent with respect" or, they may be too focused on blame, being right, proving a point, etc. to notice the damage being caused. These books aren't just for people who don't know how to follow a "few simple rules." They are also for people trying to work with someone else who can't.