@nncsmth I’m going to the doctor in a couple of weeks once my paper is turned in. Suspect I’ll be told I need to wait till the 12 month mark, but my partner turns 40 in March, and we potentially need a referral by then if we want it to be funded under the public system, so I really want to know what options - and the stakes - are at this point.
@nncsmth I too am almost 31 next month and thought the same. Had an early MC a year ago in may and nothing has happened since. I’ve done 4 medicated rounds of timed intercourse with no success. Looking at starting IUI next month depending on hubby’s SA results next week.
@shannonhartwell24 I’m at 6 months and I couldn’t agree with you more! Hearing about projects coming up at work early next year when in my head I’d be either pregnant and leaving or already on maternity leave sucks.
I may need to take your approach and try to stop consuming anything baby related. It’s soooo difficult when social media/the internet decides it’s what you should be served 24/7 + all your friends already having kids.
@marysffas Sorry to hear you’ve got your period too. Mine arrived literally just before I got in bed last night and I proceeded to cry on my partner.
Luckily reddit is 90% of my social media, with a sprinkling of Pinterest which if nothing else is quite easy to manipulate the algorithm. Oh and tumblr but tumblr has never heard of an algorithm so it’s fine lmao
@shannonhartwell24 I relate to you so much! First, I was hoping I’d be pregnant by my dissertation proposal defense in April. Then, I stalled on buying a bridesmaid dress jUsT iN CaSe (lol). Thankfully, I still have time to order.
I don’t know the solution. I’m in therapy. It’s just hard not to see my life through a pregnancy filter right now, and it’s leaving me with hurt feelings.
@lupacexi While I wasn’t a bridesmaid, I delayed getting a dress for my cousins wedding to the last minute because MAYBE I’d not fit it by then. Totally get that! (And then the airline lost our luggage, and had to go dress shopping while horribly jet lagged anyway lol).
I don’t anyone knows the answers. Right now I’m ok for the most part, and if nothing else my dissertation is a high distraction. Once that’s done I may need to reassess
@shannonhartwell24 We started trying in November '22, so 7 months in but only 6 cycles. I did get pregnant with twins but miscarried in December I turned 33 in May. I am 11dpo and had a BFN this morning, feels like I'm waiting for my period. It sucks. I've wanted children for a long time and it's really hard seeing it come so easy to others. I am sick of buying pregnancy tests every month for them to be negative. I really hope you get your positive soon
@shannonhartwell24 I think I also cried for the first time at ~8 months of trying. It can be a stressful and emotionally difficult time, no matter what stage you’re at.
I also haven’t looked at any baby stuff. Not even pregnancy stuff. I’ll cross those bridges once I get there
The first few months I read quite a lot of books about conceiving, though avoided pregnancy books themselves. But now I just need to not be on that space at all for my own mental health
@shannonhartwell24 This month will be 8 months for me too I was very upset when it didn’t happen quickly, because that is how it was for most people I know, but by month 6 I just became devastated. I too don’t read anything about babies or look at any nursery and baby shower inspo like I did when we first started trying. I feel like the joy has literally been sucked out of me and it’s starting to spill over into other areas of my life. I symptom spot like crazy in the TWW and every time I see a new symptom and think this is the time I’m sadly wrong. This is so hard.
@shannonhartwell24 Right there with you. I turned 32 in May I was so hopeful to be pregnant by then. I have a hard time with picturing holidays in the future, and getting sad when I realize I won’t have a baby by that point. It’s a hard and cruel process and I’m sorry we’re all going through it.
@shannonhartwell24 I know exactly what you mean. I’m at the end of cycle 10 right now. It’s been awful. There’s this underlying current of anxious dread that I’m just sort of pushing down and ignoring but occasionally it starts to bubble up and I get this whole body panic.
I just got back from a vacation visiting my parents. When we booked it 8 months ago I thought “I’ll be super pregnant by then” then I it was “I’ll be too far along to use that time as a grandparent reveal but at least travel will be comfortable” which turned into “it’ll be too early to tell them” and finally “at least I’ll be able to drink”.
@sparow Oh the holiday thing is difficult. We booked a trip to the UK for a wedding right when we started trying. And the “I’ll be very pregnant” became “it’ll be nice to tell everyone in person” became “I can drink the champagne”. So many vague plans just never eventuate.
@shannonhartwell24 I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish more people could understand the pain that comes with TTC without results/infertility. It feels like torture.
@mikeysmama1128 There was a post on askoldpeople the other day asking what you have to experience yourself to understand and unbelievably, no one said fertility struggles (though many many comments said “pregnancy, birth, parenthood, etc). Most people truly just don’t get it. It’s not something I ever really considered either until we started trying and it’s certainly not something I could empathize about. I also don’t know anyone who hasn’t gone through it who has been able to understand. Meanwhile, so many people out there are so callous and sometimes vitriolic about it. Folks commenting on the birth rate on Twitter saying things like “women just need to be less neurotic” or “it’s cruel to have children that late in life because they’ll have elderly parents who will die early and can’t keep up with them”.
@sparow Well, there are certainly some phenomena that could influence that. Infertility rates in both men and women have risen sharply since their generation, so it's possible that far less people experienced it back then. It may just be plain ignorance.
@shannonhartwell24 I’m with you. I’ve just had a chemical on my 8th cycle and it has been really tough. 9 months feels like a long time. I feel like I associate pregnancy with other people.
We will get there but it’s ok to feel very sad just now.
@shannonhartwell24 I understand you and I am sorry for you. I miscarried in 2021, followed by 2 years without cycles. Now my cycles started back again magically and my hopes went up! Like you, I kept (and still cannot help myself to keep) dreaming about how the baby would be, how we would name him/her, having conversation with him/her when they will be older, etc.
This month we really tried our best. I have all set up, I know my ovulation day, my husband is totally fertile, etc. Yet 2 days ago my period came and here I am feeling depressed and empty. More than that, I am especially stressed as I am 34 and not getting any younger. I also have an auto immune illness that make things more complicated...
Sorry for talking about my life but I just wanted to say I feel for you, and I am really sorry. I can just comfort you by telling you that you are not alone facing this!
@eeeindia I made a whole post talking about my life, you hardly need to apologise for that! It’s been really good hearing other people going through the same thing. Of my friends with babies only one had issues, but her issues were very bad (ivf, 25 week birth, 3 months NICU, multiple miscarriages with ivf…) so I don’t think it’s fair to her to talk about my struggles.
I’m going to be going to the doctor soon and hopefully running tests, making sure I’m actually ovulating etc., and then I guess go from there. But it’s so hard trying so hard, doing everything right, and having nothing to show for it
it doesn’t get any easier - maybe a little more numb but I’m just tired of waiting!!!
I was very upset when it didn’t happen quickly, because that is how it was for most people I know, but by month 6 I just became devastated. I too don’t read anything about babies or look at any nursery and baby shower inspo like I did when we first started trying. I feel like the joy has literally been sucked out of me and it’s starting to spill over into other areas of my life. I symptom spot like crazy in the TWW and every time I see a new symptom and think this is the time I’m sadly wrong. This is so hard.