Is 9 months long enough to prepare?!

[bort]

I've been telling myself for years that I'm not allowed to collect baby things until I was actually pregnant. My husband surprised me saying that he's ready to start trying next month and suddenly my brain is flooded with "oh God there is so much to do!". We just bought this house in August and our closets/storage spaces are nowhere near organized so where would I even put baby things?!

Crap.

 

[wavecure]

@bort Exciting that your husband is ready to try! Nine months would be the minimum if you were lucky enough to conceive on the first cycle and have everything go well. Some people don’t even start buying baby stuff and setting up the nursery until about 20 weeks, so I’d say 9 months is plenty of time. While TTC you can get your closets sorted and start doing some of the heavy work.

 

[blking74]

@bort Such exciting news!!! I can relate to the knee-jerk reaction of already feeling “behind schedule” because you haven’t been able to plan months ahead of time. I’m a planner by nature, so even still being a few months away from TTC I already feel late on all the prep! But while 9 months (or possibly more depending on the amount of time TTC) seems short, that’s actually quite a long time, when you think of it as far as how many weeks and days that involves (40 weeks = 280 days!). A lot can be done in 280 days!

What’s been helping me to snap out of that knee-jerk response has been to sit down with my husband, map out everything we needed/wanted to get done pre-baby (so pre-TTC, during TTC and during pregnancy) and assign those tasks throughout 2022. (That timing worked well for us as our TTC start is end of April). So on our list has been home improvements we want to have complete, changes to our banking and investment strategies we’ve been putting off, planning baby purchases, prepping a room for baby, preparing parental leave paperwork etc. Any time I worry we’re not going to be ready in time for baby, I look at this calendar and I can see we’ve got plenty of time for everything!

 

[elad55]

@blking74 I love the idea of breaking the laundry list of tasks we have created into pre-TTC, TTC, and during pregnancy. It feels so overwhelming and I can't stop thinking it all needs to be done before TTC.

 

[katrina2017]

@bort There is time!! I believe deep in my soul that babies don't need as much as we are marketed that they need. The people who make stuff for babies feed on your insecurities. You need a safe sleep place for them, fitting diapers, a breast pump if applicable and bottles, medicine, maybe a pacifier...and I don't think I'm missing very much. I am getting a bassinet and breastfeeding stuff, when I am pregnant, and a few packs of onesies, different sizes of diapers and calling it good.

Let's say the baby is born and you aren't ready...you go to Target and you buy the thing you forgot. Or you send a family member there who knows it's a crazy time and is offering to help you.

We have time! Fear not! The baby does not know or care how disorganized the closet is. It just wants your attention, some food, and a diaper.

 

[jharnack]

@bort In my culture, we don't purchase/set up baby items (even a crib) until the baby is born (old tradition wary of the evil eye/tempting fate). We made an exception to get a car seat a week before our due date so we could take our bub home from the hospital.

As a first time parent, I was obviously worried about not having time, but we actually were absolutely okay. The little ones need so little in those first few weeks; car seat, bassinet, and nappies were the only essential supplies.

 

[bort]

@jharnack My husband is very much in the camp of people that doesn't want to collect to much early in the pregnancy in case things go sideways .. and I get it. But I'm kinda picky about what I want (like type of stroller) and wanting to get it 2nd hand so I just kind of want time to wander, shop, and collect

 

[fallingupwards]

@jharnack

As a first time parent, I was obviously worried about not having time, but we actually were absolutely okay. The little ones need so little in those first few weeks; car seat, bassinet, and nappies were the only essential supplies

Genuine question but how did you go with shopping and decision making during those first few weeks? I'm trying to be as realistic about what I'll be up for as possible, and if I'm super sleep deprived and recovering from birth I feel like there's nooo way I'll be up for leaving the house and going shopping, let alone trying to make good decisions (choosing between products etc).

 

[jharnack]

@fallingupwards Great question! We researched essentials beforehand, and our requirements (e.g. no fire retardants - which are known carcinogens - in our car seat quickly narrowed it down to only three possible options) made our final selection and purchasing pretty easy and straight forward.

We were also lucky enough to be gifted items after the birth (baby showers are also a no-no, as you can guess) from knowledgeable parents in our friend group, so we also had what we needed without extraneous baby paraphernalia littering our home.

THE BEST HELP we ever received was a meal train. Seriously, when the time comes, have a friend set up a meal delivery schedule on the website and have your family and friends sign up. We didn't have to worry about cooking for roughly three months, which was a G-dsend.

 

[katrina2017]

@bort A lot of people don't buy anything until very last minute or until the baby is actually born. My mom was telling me how many Italian women never did baby showers, how it is an "American thing". They would get things after the baby was born since they were worried showers and early prep would bring bad luck. Babies need very little in the beginning so apparently it worked out!

 

[joebo]

@katrina2017 Wow! I’m not Italian or part of a culture that says this (I don’t think) but I’m juuuust paranoid enough that I don’t want to tempt fate. I’ll probably queue things up in shopping carts online and only hit purchase when I’m ready to pop.

 

[katrina2017]

@joebo Right Italians can have a lot of superstitions! She was mainly talking about people she knew so I don’t think it’s a global thing.

I can picture myself doing that! Grabbing that in store pick up on the way home from the hospital

 

[katrina2017]

@bort I didn‘t buy anything either. I‘ll see what happens when we get there. I want to buy stuff when I‘m actually pregnant, because I have the feeling of jinxing myself if I do already. I‘m weird. PS: So excited for you!

 

[cewilder]

@bort There’s plenty of time to prepare and organize. I find organizing cathartic, so if it were me, I’d get started on organizing next weekend. Go one closet at a time. Donate the things you don’t need. Make a list of any pre-kid changes you want to make to your house.

Changes we made during my first pregnancy that didn’t have to do with the nursery: replacing all the blinds with cordless blinds, ripping out the fiberglass insulation and putting in spray foam insulation, putting dimmers in the living spaces, nursery, and master toilet (this was very important in pregnancy since I got up to pee multiple times a night from 6 weeks all the way to delivery), organizing the garage, clearing space in one kitchen cabinet for baby stuff (after viability), tethering all of the tall furniture pieces to the wall (anti-tip kits), putting plug covers on any open outlets.