introducing a new s/o

[mandy2007]

I'm just looking for some advice on how
long people wait to introduce a new s/o to their children. I have been single and dating for 5 yrs, but have only introduced 1 man to them. I am more worried about scaring my b/F off than how my girls (5 and 14) will react. I mentioned it to my b/f and he seemed fine with it. But now I'm nervous! Any advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[redeemedbutbroken]

@mandy2007 I'll introduce an SO whenever it's convenient. It really doesn't matter. What matters is when you start integrating the SO into your family life. She doesn't get to spend any meaningful time with my son until I'm sure the relationship has genuine potential and you can't know that until the honeymoon period is over: at least 6 months, probably more like 12.

 

[mandy2007]

@redeemedbutbroken Thank you. You make a good point about introducing vs integrating a SO.

 

[cgdtaylor]

@redeemedbutbroken That's really well put, the introducing vs integrating.

 

[texaselaine]

@mandy2007 I waited a solid six months. My son is three, so I introduced my boyfriend as "Mommy's friend".

Our first outing/meeting was the amusement park. It was a nice day, and my son got to know "my friend" and vice versa. We all hang out at least once a month. It's working out so far!

 

[ghtan]

@mandy2007 Right away, honestly. Introduce them as friends, let the rest happen naturally. 99% chance your 14 year old will tell you how she feels anyway, kids aren't known for over-filtering their opinions.