I feel like such a dolt (5w 5d)

[sandiego1970]

Got BFP 2 weeks ago, was surprised/confused because I'd just had what thought was AF, and all BFN before that.

Went to Dr, who had me poas BFN. Sent me home. Went home confused, poas, BFP, the most obvious one of the lot. Sigh.

So I've been sitting here at home getting both BFP, BFN, and feeling so confused.
I'm exhausted, crampy, vaguely nauseated and all I can think is I must be crazy to have symptoms when most of my tests have been turning up negative. (No bfp in the last 4 days, slight brown watery cm, but no active bleeding)

I feel like a crazy person. My temps are haywire, my CM makes no sense.... Am I pregnant? Was I pregnant? What am I right now?

I could scream. Or cry. Or take a bath.

I'm worried if I go to a walk in they will see how crazy I am and refuse to do a blood test. (J/k but not j/k)

Ugh.

I thought a bfp would be more straight forward. :/

 

[cchipss]

@sandiego1970 Yikes! That sounds very frustrating. So was your test negative at the doctor's? I'd definitely ask for a bloodtest -- who cares if they think you're crazy!

 

[sandiego1970]

@cchipss New mantra for the day (week/life), its okay to ask for tests about my own health, even if they end up being negative. Going to keep repeating that to myself, hopefully feel better.

Thank you

 

[littlestar777]

@sandiego1970 I would definitely have them do a blood test. You could be in the midst of having a miscarriage even with the brown watery CM. I would scream and then cry while taking a bath. You have every right to ask about your overall health and just talk to your doctor about the confusing amounts of pregnancy tests.

 

[sandiego1970]

@littlestar777 I've had two good cries, put on my big girl panties and saw the doc again. First blood test today to see what's what, and again tomorrow and Thursday.

Feel better. Feel at least like I'm doing something.

Thus Dr. was wonderful, took the time to talk about chemical pregnancies and how some don't end in bleeding, sometimes they are reabsorbed.
Made me feel a lot better!

 

[bushido8000]

@sandiego1970 This is great! I would also be hysteric in such a situation. Not knowing what's happening is the worst. It's great that you were able to go back and get more tests - even if it turns out to be a miscarriage (which I hope it isn't), you'll know for sure instead of sitting at home wondering what the hell is happening.

 

[sandiego1970]

@bushido8000 Thanks. It's (oddly? or totally not odd?) reassuring to hear that other people would handle this with as much/little grace and composure as I've been.

Even is it is/was a chemical pregnancy I think I could handle that better than this uncertainty and confusion. It's exhausting mentally.

Thank you.