I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I have been a single parent for 3 years now. I have a 2 year old and a 7 year old. The terrible twos are killing me. The 7 year old is acting out too. Yesterday he said he was playing “ blues clues” and put about 8 or 9 hot sauce hand prints on various things in the house. Tonight he grabbed my translucent make up powder and climbed in his sisters crib. He decided to paint with it. It was EVERYWHERE. He should know better than to do things like that. My mental health is at 0 and then I have to do things like this. I just can’t do it anymore. I took a panic attack tonight
I feel like giving up
- Thread starter grace49
- Start date
-
- Tags
- single parents vent
dachshund22
New member
@grace49 We all have days like this. Honestly, once I had to take my three year old to a trusted family member for a few days so that I could have a break. I was able to have peace + quiet so that I could keep going. I was able to catch up on housework and watch the movies I wanted to watch. Once or twice a year, I also take a momcation. Those have been amazing for my mental health.
@dachshund22 I don’t think this is just “a day” for her/him. This seems like they been struggling for awhile. I’m in the same boat
dachshund22
New member
wrongclub_lucius
New member
@dachshund22 Momcation may be the best word I’ve ever heard. I feel like giving up almost every day and then somehow fight my way through it. If there is anyone you trust who can watch your kids even for a day, it would do you so much good. You and me both
matthewilyg
New member
@dachshund22 Dadcation could be a thing too 
@dachshund22 What a great idea momication adding this one to my notes.
@dachshund22 Momcation huh? Tell me about some of your momcations. I’m curious haha. Sounds pretty fun!
dachshund22
New member
alxspntral
New member
@grace49 No shame. When it was first just me and my daughter (dealing with the single parent thing AND the cheating/leaving wife thing) I was at the point, emotionally, where I had written up my resignation letter. Problem was, there was no one to give it to. I felt like I was failing as a dad, failing as an employee, failing as a person and making no headway... every day was just struggle not to drown.
My step-dad told me "I can't believe you're still doing this, I'd have given up" and my honest answer was "If there was a way to give up, I would have."
They're at a tough age. It'll get better as they get easier. This isn't forever, and I know that's not a lot of help, but sometimes that was the mantra that got me through the worst days.
In the meantime...
Cut yourself some slack. are your children dressed and fed and safe? (Or, let's be honest here, some days, just "fed and safe" is enough.) Good, some days that can be all that matters. No one's grading you down if all they've eaten is McDonalds today. So what if all they did was watch TV on the couch? The dishes in the sink can be in the sink. My 3 year old daughter emptied 3 entire boxes of cereal onto her bedroom floor while I was on a critical work call, so we just pulled that door shut, and had a campout on the living room floor until Saturday when I had the mental capacity to deal with 'froot cap'n rice krispy crunch loops' mess. Laugh at the dishes, ignore the sticky floor, ~~pour a glass~~ grab a bottle of wine, take a bath, and breathe.
My step-dad told me "I can't believe you're still doing this, I'd have given up" and my honest answer was "If there was a way to give up, I would have."
They're at a tough age. It'll get better as they get easier. This isn't forever, and I know that's not a lot of help, but sometimes that was the mantra that got me through the worst days.
In the meantime...
Cut yourself some slack. are your children dressed and fed and safe? (Or, let's be honest here, some days, just "fed and safe" is enough.) Good, some days that can be all that matters. No one's grading you down if all they've eaten is McDonalds today. So what if all they did was watch TV on the couch? The dishes in the sink can be in the sink. My 3 year old daughter emptied 3 entire boxes of cereal onto her bedroom floor while I was on a critical work call, so we just pulled that door shut, and had a campout on the living room floor until Saturday when I had the mental capacity to deal with 'froot cap'n rice krispy crunch loops' mess. Laugh at the dishes, ignore the sticky floor, ~~pour a glass~~ grab a bottle of wine, take a bath, and breathe.
katrina2017
New member
@alxspntral Wow, I could’ve written this. “If there was a way to give up, I would have.”
I remember thinking my 2yr old old was napping, only to find she had crushed my makeup powder into the carpet and smeared it on the eyes of all of her stuffed animals. I picked her up and she slept with me for a few nights until I could handle looking at her room again.
Then I made her help clean it hahaha dang kids, sometimes.
I remember thinking my 2yr old old was napping, only to find she had crushed my makeup powder into the carpet and smeared it on the eyes of all of her stuffed animals. I picked her up and she slept with me for a few nights until I could handle looking at her room again.
Then I made her help clean it hahaha dang kids, sometimes.
agnosticusmexicanus
New member
@alxspntral everything about your response is great, thank you for sharing your words!
@alxspntral Those are all great points. Thanks for sharing! Sometimes it’s hard for me to think that way. I have trouble sharing my feelings/struggles with my friends and family because I feel like they judge me. They have kids too but they also have a spouse to help. When I woke him up this morning, I told him we are starting off on a clean slate. I hope he follows through. I think what set the panic attack off was just having thing after thing occur and it’s getting to me and also having both of them cry non stop while I’m trying to clean it all up. I would have left it for today but the baby needed to sleep in her crib and it was a mess!
@alxspntral I needed this more than you'll ever know.
calebandre
New member
@calebandre Sometimes they will go with their grandparents for the weekend. Even then though, I’m at the point where I can’t even get out of bed. Last time I stayed in bed the whole time. I wasn’t even sick. I just had no energy. I can’t even describe it. Their grandma was kind of making me feel bad about it. She was asking what my big plans were
solent_mark
New member
@grace49 I do this exact thing the few times a year I get a break. Then I get mad at myself for doing it because I should have been doing all these amazing things.
But screw it. You listen to your body and do what you need to do and don’t let anyone guilt or shame you into anything different. Tell grandma you’re in Paris living it up and don’t get service so she should not bother interrupting lol.
But screw it. You listen to your body and do what you need to do and don’t let anyone guilt or shame you into anything different. Tell grandma you’re in Paris living it up and don’t get service so she should not bother interrupting lol.
@solent_mark Grandma drives me crazy sometimes. One time I was busy and didn’t pick up the phone so she called 11 times until I pulled in my driveway 