I’m a liar and I want to stop. What started as a survival mechanism is now a full blown problem

[author2022]

I’ve picked up this habit of lying. It been a survival mechanism for years and I’m afraid it’s showing up in too many areas of my life. I could post my AITA situation but I already know I’m the asshole. I’m potentially causing a lot of people harm (un-intentionally) but through my single lack of accountability of one situation that I’ve been hiding for months, I’m so afraid of telling the truth on damage that’s already been done. Why and I really mean why am I so afraid of admitting fault for spreading a potential lice situation to my friends. I do this odd gaslighting thing while I see people reacting to the feeling but I don’t address it. Like who am I, and why would I do that? I’ve avoided having people over for months, but I think one recent hangout may have caused a potential spread. I genuinely didn’t know it was lice for over a year, I finally matched lice as the culprit a couple days ago after a long battle with experiencing it on and off. People will express they are experiencing something weird on their skin and I don’t admit it then. How do I fix this lying, I don’t want to keep this up. This is something that can cause me to make me lose my friendships and all other kinds of relationships. Probably more so from being dishonest than the lice itself. How should I go about making this right?

 

[catherine_of_the_faith]

@author2022 Dude you have to just suck it up and do the right thing or it will NEVER end. Just own up. It's sucks. It hurts. It's embarrassing. I've cried. Other people have cried. Other people have lied. Trust me you are not the first and you are not alone. Doesn't mean you don't have to fix it, cause ya do. Like so " Yes I caused it. Yes I lied. I was scared. That's no excuse and I'm so so sorry. I want to make it right anyway I can. " Blah blah blah. Talk it out as you go. Rehearse it. Whatever you got to do for you. Trust me if you don't, you WILL remember it for the rest of your life. You will think about it randomly you will never be free. In the end, it's all for you friend. How do YOU make it right? You know you want to make amends. You are the best person that knows how to do that with your friends. If you loose a relationship, you did what you thought was best to make it right so there is nothing else to do.