We started a “bad” (bad for us) habit of cosleeping with our 4 year old over the holidays. He was sick, then it was just easier bc he stayed up later over the holiday. It was fine for awhile but now I can’t sleep. He is constantly wanting to cuddle or lay on me, which seems sweet but not at 3am. This mixed with he’s in a very clingy stage with me and also scared to be alone. Does anyone have tips to get him back sleeping in his own bed? He’s always been the type of child I’ve had to give tough love to get him to do things. We had to do numerous round of sleep training, reverse locks, etc. please help! Momma is tired!
xcountryrunner33
New member
@tate1805 They have nightmares at this age. My daughter is almost 4. We never sleep trained. It's legit just that age. I sleep in her bed every night because she gets lonely and scared. If she wakes up she rolls over and touches my face to make sure I am still there, and then she rolls back over and goes back to sleep.
@tate1805 We did this at age 5. We first switched rooms because we were having another baby so made his new big kid room. He got a new night light and strip lights on the ceiling with a remote he could use without getting out of bed
Then we started cosleeping with him only in his room. We were lucky enough to have a bigger bed in there. After sleeping for 3-4 weeks (takes something like 21 days to make or break a habit) with him we started making sure we were up before him so he would wake up alone but we wouldn’t be far and it would be morning anyway.
Then we started leaving his room a bit earlier and earlier. All in all it probably took us about 2-2.5 months because we wanted to make it a good change for him. Finally we were able to lay with him until he fell asleep and left.
Sometimes he would get up and either cry or come over and then we would sleep with him that night especially at first. After a while we could just get him back to sleep and go back to bed though too.
He could probably fall asleep alone too (and has now sometimes) but I really like our nighttime cuddles. I feel like it’s our “us” time and especially as he gets older I cherish it.
Then we started cosleeping with him only in his room. We were lucky enough to have a bigger bed in there. After sleeping for 3-4 weeks (takes something like 21 days to make or break a habit) with him we started making sure we were up before him so he would wake up alone but we wouldn’t be far and it would be morning anyway.
Then we started leaving his room a bit earlier and earlier. All in all it probably took us about 2-2.5 months because we wanted to make it a good change for him. Finally we were able to lay with him until he fell asleep and left.
Sometimes he would get up and either cry or come over and then we would sleep with him that night especially at first. After a while we could just get him back to sleep and go back to bed though too.
He could probably fall asleep alone too (and has now sometimes) but I really like our nighttime cuddles. I feel like it’s our “us” time and especially as he gets older I cherish it.
devaofprayze
New member
@tate1805 We had issues with our 2 yo because we moved across the country (by car) and co slept the entire way, and a few weeks after we got into the new place. We did the same method that we had done at 10 months old to get her back into her own room. Its called the Ferber method, and it takes about a week.
First and foremost, bedtime routine is super important! Our is brush teeth, put on sleepwear, read 2 books (ONLY), sing 2 songs, hugs and kisses. Then reverse lock them in their bedroom.
If your kiddo cries, start with 3 minutes. Put a timer on. After 3 minutes, if they are still crying, go in and calm them down. Then wait 5 minutes. Then 7. Etc, until they are asleep before the timer goes off (or at least not screaming). The same thing applies at night. Wait 3 minutes, then 5, then 7, etc.
The next night, wait 5 minutes, then 7, then 9.
The next night, 7, 9, 11.
Keep this up until they are chill in their room. I dont think we ever had to go past 15 mins of listening to them scream.... I feel awful saying that, but tough love man, sleep is important.
Remember, whats good for mama is good for everyone
Good luck!
First and foremost, bedtime routine is super important! Our is brush teeth, put on sleepwear, read 2 books (ONLY), sing 2 songs, hugs and kisses. Then reverse lock them in their bedroom.
If your kiddo cries, start with 3 minutes. Put a timer on. After 3 minutes, if they are still crying, go in and calm them down. Then wait 5 minutes. Then 7. Etc, until they are asleep before the timer goes off (or at least not screaming). The same thing applies at night. Wait 3 minutes, then 5, then 7, etc.
The next night, wait 5 minutes, then 7, then 9.
The next night, 7, 9, 11.
Keep this up until they are chill in their room. I dont think we ever had to go past 15 mins of listening to them scream.... I feel awful saying that, but tough love man, sleep is important.
Remember, whats good for mama is good for everyone
Good luck!
@devaofprayze Thank you!