Feeling scared and broken

[candimarie]

I’m 9 weeks and have had 2 “high risk” doctors decline to treat me due to my weight/BMI. I’m 5’0” and 330lbs. No blood sugar issues. No blood pressure issues. Just fat and can’t find a doctor to treat me solely because of my weight.

I’m feeling so scared and anxious, and just plain down and depressed. This is supposed to be such a joyous time.

Not sure what I’m expecting from venting this out here but it makes me feel a little better.

If anyone happens to be in the central FL area and can point me in the direction of someone who can help that would be amazing.

 

[essamtarik]

@candimarie I’m so sorry you’re facing this. I’m 5’9 350 pounds. I unfortunately had a miscarriage of twins right before Christmas but every appointment I had leading up to that, my weight was never discussed. I was told I’d need to do my glucose test earlier and take a baby aspirin starting in the second trimester but that’s it. The surgeon who did my d&c told me “you’re young and healthy, you’ll get pregnant again” then talked to me about waiting until my first period to try again. At my follow up appointment my OB asked if we planned on trying again, never once mentioned that we shouldn’t due to my weight. I say this because I don’t want you to think all doctors are going to treat you this way. I’m extremely obese and no doctor I saw put me down about it. Keep looking because not all doctors are going to treat you so poorly and you deserve an OB who isn’t going to make you feel like shit every appointment

 

[kevinkret86]

@candimarie Doctors shouldn't be allowed to turn down patients based on assumed prognosis. Were these doctors at a leading hospital? In my area, Mount Sinai is the best hospital and if my bmi went over 45, I would've had to have my care there.

 

[sandman134]

@candimarie I'm unfortunately not in Florida. However, I just really want to say I am so sorry you're going through this. It's completely unfair and uncalled for. I hope you find an amazing OB that will treat you as a person and stop focusing on your weight. You deserve to receive the best care regardless of your weight/BMI.

 

[candimarie]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I hope I can report back some encouraging updates soon. It is nice to feel support and encouragement from you all. This all hit my mental health very hard yesterday so hoping for a better day today (despite the fact that I’m awake at 1am thinking about it all).

 

[martaja]

@candimarie I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m not in florida but just had a healthy baby girl 2 weeks ago through a plus sized pregnancy. I only had one bad moment with one of my OBs (went to a rotating practice) and the rest were phenomenal. I know how hard it can be emotionally. Take a beat, deep breaths, and when you can mentally handle it again, pick up the phone and call around asking for size friendly doctors. They’re out there. I promise. You’re not alone and you’re going to be a wonderful mama regardless of these awful people.

 

[candimarie]

@martaja Thank you so much! I’m still waiting to hear back from a facility to see if they will “accept” me.

 

[ngocthanh2015]

@candimarie I am truly sorry you had to go thru this!
I'm sorry they made you feel so terrible about yourself. I hope you keep looking and don't give up hope! I went thru 3 OBs before I found the one I have now. All 3 were so focused on my weight, without regard to anything else, and just seemed so apathetic. Please don't give up hope.
I'm 5'3" at 365. My numbers before I even git pregnant were great but nobody seemed to care. I have some issues now but they're related to the pregnancy and I'm working with a specialist and My ob to keep everything in check. Please let us know if u find someone OP!

 

[vova]

@candimarie I'm in central florida, high risk, bmi is 48 right now. Have you tried Orlando Health Women's Institute Center for Maternal Fetal Medicine? They have been handling my whole pregnancy so far, I'm 27 weeks right now. I do hope you can get a proper doctor.