Feeling sad, need to vent

[gerger]

Today I saw myself in the mirror at the gym and that made me sad. I know I am obese, but it’s like I don’t really know know until I see myself surrounded by a bunch of “normal” people. It kinda shocks me. The contrast. It’s like I haven’t fully updated how I look in my brain. In my min I’m still 80 lbs lighter.
I am 6 weeks pregnant. Insulin resistant, taking metformin and had gestational diabetes in a previous pregnancy, being 40 lbs lighter.
Then it all added up and I started to feel kind of doomed. Like there’s no way out, I’m already huge and I’ll become even bigger, and slower, and heavier, and I’ll probably have gestational diabetes again.
It hit me.
I talked to a dietitian and she told me it’s not recommended to lose weight while pregnant. However, I have seen time and time again people saying they were lighter right after birth than what they used to weight pre pregnancy, which means they actually lost weight while being pregnant - due to eating healthier.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post. I guess I wanted to hear people say that it’s totally possible and even healthy to lose weight in pregnancy.
I wish I wouldn’t look horrendous when I got pregnant but I already do. I wish I would have gestational diabetes but I’m afraid that’s not possible.
I’m kinda sad and wanted to vent to people that could possibly understand me. Thanks for reading.

 

[annointed620]

@gerger Im so sorry you’re feeling like this. I know I had these feelings too. It’s so hard to be excited when you’re worried about what you’ll look like after. Then I felt guilty for being vain. Even post partum I compare myself to other recently PP bodies and feel sadness. I lnow my body just did this amazing thing so I’m trying to give myself grace but it’s hard as a person who has been in a bigger body my whole life. FWIW your hormones are going crazy right now so being down may be a result of that as well. I’m one of those people who lost weight during pregnancy. I was not actively trying to lose weight but like you said I changed my diet to be more balanced and healthier. Stopped doing things like intermittent fasting which I think was slowing down my metabolism. I was also trying to stay active so I walked 10k steps a day with my dog. At the end of my pregnancy I had only gained one pound from my pre-pregnancy weight and after baby was born I had lost about 15 ish pounds. I’ve kept off about ten of those at 5 months pp. That being said I would definitely defer to your medical providers in terms of diet and exercise recs.

 

[chainless]

@gerger I'm obese and pregnant too I know how you feel like.. yes it's possible to lose weight but the right way which means consulting a dietician about it. Of course eating healthy will help. Some women lose weight cause of vomiting.. I didn't gain any weight until the 4th month of my pregnancy due to vomiting every day ..please try to enjoy your pregnancy these moments don't come everyday. My self esteem is low too right now but after I give birth I'll get back on track with healthy eating and working out. We can do it!

 

[gerger]

@chainless Thanks so much for your kind words