The fact that you are as concerned as you are tho, should tell you everything. You are concerned because you are a great mama, who loves her child. And that’s amazing.
Just for a day, when your babe cries, and you feel completely overwhelmed and like you’re not doing right by your kiddo, take some deep breaths and try to let go. An anxious person can’t breathe slowly. I bet your baby responds as you calm down.
Btw please tell me to F all the way off if you want. My sister told me all of this when I was where you are. And I very much told her to do so. Haha. But in all honesty she was completely right.
@byhimforhim I’m a great mom of two and for the first one I never got her to burp and she spit up constantly and I always felt like a failure who wasn’t trying hard enough for the burp. Had my second. I get a massive burp in ten seconds every single time. Nothing changed about my technique. It’s just a different kid. But boy did I have guilt. But I’m raising a great, seemingly healthy and secure kid. I have a lot of pride in the mom I’ve become.
My toddler is a rockstar. My little baby is doing great.
And I never ever ever not once could hear the “different cries of an infant” (toddler cries are a lot more obvious lol).
I got better at problem solving with my baby. Learned that things were always changing. But cues? Psh. Never this magical thing for our family.
@byhimforhim How old is your baby? Are you keeping track of what time your feedings start? That should help you understand his/her needs and wants. You know to use the start time of the feed and not the end time?
If you follow the eat play sleep schedule, it should help you get in sync with your baby's rhythms! When they wake up you feed them (unless it's not time yet), then play until their wake window is starting to close. Then start to get ready for the next nap or bedtime!
@knothat Baby is 8 weeks and we feed on demand but track the feedings so we know roughly when he should start to get hungry again.
I just heard about the eat, play, sleep routine and have been trying it today so we will see if that helps!
@byhimforhim I have a 9 week old and he is my 3rd. I've never fed on demand, I've always gone by their age and the recommended feeding windows for their age. So 2 hours the first month, and right now we've been at every 3 hours since then. It's always spot on. Literally starts fussing for his hands at that exact time. The feeding schedule helps me know what his cries are for. Since he eats regularly every 3 hours except during the night (sleeps about 9 hours without feeding), then I know any other cry is strictly him being overtired. I try to get him to sleep before that happens because the crying usually indicates it's too late. Which happens often because of my older kids and their sports schedules!
@byhimforhim I always followed the Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book. Highly recommend. It will give you a better idea of how to manage eating sleeping and playing, especially what cues to look for when tired. You just read up to how old your baby is, so definitely manageable.
@byhimforhim 8 weeks old is so hard. You are doing everything right. There isn’t a schedule at this age. Baby doesn’t know the difference between day and night yet. I didn’t understand my baby’s cry until like 4-5 months old and still sometimes don’t get it right. You and the baby are learning each other! Take it day by day, you are doing your best and that is enough for baby
@byhimforhim We found it important to remember to think from the baby’s perspective. Everything is new, things are uncomfortable and there’s very little they can do about it. It helped us remain patient as this baby learned about everything in the world for the very first time, sounds, sights, smells, textures, absolutely everything and it’s overwhelming and exhausting and mamma is their one constant variable, they need you and they love you and they’re scared and they can’t even tell you, they can really only cry. As the parent it is unbelievably hard, but as everyone always says, it gets better, it will certainly get better. Hang in there!
@byhimforhim I just had my 4th baby and same issue. Don't let it get to you, you will learn over time all babies are different. Set yourself up for bedtime: warm bath warm bottle. 2.5 hrs is pretty typical for a newborn. Slowly it will become longer and longer. Don't be hard on yourself none of us know what we are doing in newborn phase no matter how many kids we have.
@byhimforhim It totally sucks and I’m so sorry you’re in the thick of it. I was convinced I was doing something wrong or not paying close enough attention to something…but you’re probably not missing anything. It’s just super hard for some and not so bad for others but you’re crushing it and you’re going to be really proud in a few weeks when routine does start to set in!
@byhimforhim Check out the 0-6 month book for Moms on Call. There are sleeping tips and model “schedules” that have rly helped. It’s straightforward not a lot of reading. Take what works for you.
TakingCaraBabies Instagram also helped me figure out sleepy cues.
My first(now 2) I literally never could tell the difference between his cries. I did process of elimination every time(tired? Nappy? Feed? Change clothes?). But he cruised into his own routine easily.
My second(now 5 months) is super easy to read for cues but day routine is a total clusterf*ck. She's ok overnight luckily but I've tried out every kind of nap/wake window and none work. She seems to just not be an overly routiney baby.
Haha try not to compare to others. As I read previously on this sub "comparison is the thief of joy".
@byhimforhim My husband and I had trouble identifying cries early on too, but we would always just do the rotation of feed, burp, diper, rock and then start again from the top. Eventually one works, only baby knows why or how
@byhimforhim My husband and I had trouble identifying cries early on too, but we would always just do the rotation of feed, burp, diper, rock and then start again from the top. Eventually one works, only baby knows why or how
@byhimforhim My husband and I had trouble identifying cries early on too, but we would always just do the rotation of feed, burp, diper, rock and then start again from the top. Eventually one works, only baby knows why or how
you got this!