Entering becoming a single mum

[hookemhornz]

I currently have a 3 year old and 7 week old baby. I’m ready to take the steps to split from my partner but I don’t know where to start.
I’m worried financially, I have a great support system from my family however I don’t want to rely on them in anyway. I want to prove I can do it on my own to everyone but I feel so lost. I’m 26 and feel like I will never find a relationship because nobody wants to date someone with 2 kids unless they have kids themselves. Any advice on making this step would be really useful x

 

[freethinker4eva]

@hookemhornz Hey lovely. It’s an incredibly daunting process. I’ve recently left my son’s dad after 4 years together. Our son was a year old when I decided it was time.

We’ve been separated 3 months now, and my whole thought process and way of thinking about life has been overshadowed that I have a little one in tow. It worries me incredibly that I won’t find anyone ever again. My outlook on love is distorted, having never received it for real.

I know however there is someone out there for all of us. Many of my friends, who are too young mums have gone on to find me partners, and even have further kids with them. If a man if worth his salt, he will be understanding, compassionate and accommodating.

I’ve had to have a real talk to myself about who I’m going to date in the future. This is a decision for me and my son, so it’ll have to be the right person.

Since going it alone, life has been surprisingly easier, as I’m not parenting a 25 year old man/alcoholic alongside.

 

[top10most]

@hookemhornz You will be shocked how many people want to date single moms. Dude I'm 26 too and the way these boys won't even leave me alone is crazy. Don't even worry about that part.

 

[praveen123]

@hookemhornz You have to be very rational and strategic because single parenting is all about recognising priority over proving anything to anyone.

My advice (after being a single mom for about 2+ years)

-Live close to your parents, better if you can live with them and contribute financially a little bit. I was with my parents for 8 month, I paid a portion of the cost and saved up a bit before moving out with my child.

-Job is something you have to do regardless of you having a kid or not so never think if there wasn't a child your life would have been simple. This thought process is very dangerous when mixed with the hormonal changes you will go through in upcoming months to years. Be very prepared to go through this

-Whatever you earn, spend as less as you absolutely can until you save up at least 6 months of backup. This is very important for the long run.

-this one is personal, no matter what you feel as a partner, do not let go of child support or co-parenting. Have a solid budget.

-Take few time off from being a mother everyday. I wake up 1 hour before my kid and have a cup of coffee by myself. This small window is such a fuel for me!!!!

-Never try to do all at once. single parenting is about setting priorities.

-Whenever you feel overwhelmed, take a pause and remind yourself why you are doing this. Try to see the bigger picture here.

I hope these helps. If you need any info or help, feel free to DM