Confused about sleep and formula

[nader1]

I’m a little confused about research surrounding infant sleep and formula. I’m reading that it has been debunked that formula fed babies sleep longer. But the reason that breast milk — even when exclusively pumped — is protective against SIDS is because the formula sits longer on the stomach and the babies sleep deeper, yes? So I’m just not sure how those two things are both true.

Anecdotally, almost every person I know who formula fed had a unicorn sleeper. I can’t think of anyone who had a good sleeper that was breastfed aside from my friend who cosleeps.

I’m really struggling with sleep deprivation with my 10 week old. I have a headache every day and am starting to feel nauseous from being so tired. She ends up in the bed with me every night around 4 am when I can’t take anymore. I’m really not comfortable with cosleeping and want to stop. The anxiety and guilt around it are really eating at me.

I’ve ordered some formula and it is coming tomorrow. I’m going to try a bottle of formula at bedtime and see what happens for us. But the research around it just doesn’t make sense to me?

Edit: I just wanted to say thank you. I got a lot of good advice and encouragement on this post. We switched something up and my daughter slept a six and a half hour stretch. She hasn’t slept that long, or even close in over two weeks, I feel like a new woman. I could click my heels I’m so happy. What I did was take 2 ounces from my morning feed (the only time I can make extra) and gave her a “top off” in the late afternoon around 4 pm. That way she was getting extra calories late in the day without it affecting the melatonin she needs from the evening milk. God, just from one long stretch of sleep I’m feeling like a whole new person.

 

[cutin]

@nader1 We don't know that formula sitting heavier is why breastfeeding is protective. It might not even be true. It's probably multi factorial actually. That theory also may only apply to older formulas with a more casein dominant whey to casein ratio.

It does seem anecdotally that formula fed babies tend to sleep more independently. I wonder whether this is actually to do with parental behaviour around sleep rather than feeding method as such.

Parents who formula feed need to know how much their baby drinks and they need to know roughly how often so they can have the right amount available by the time the baby wants it. Therefore most formula feeding parents are feeding to some kind of schedule, even a loose one. There isn't really snacking in between. Whereas a breastfed baby will often feed more irregularly, and you don't necessarily know how much they have had, you just fed them again whenever they seem to want it. Once the bottle is finished the feed is finished so if the baby doesn't fall asleep during feeding, they have to fall asleep without that feeding association. Albeit they might have some other parental behaviour like rocking, patting or just holding. Whereas breastfeeding babies can stay latched and almost always fall asleep latched.

When a baby wakes up, the easiest thing for the breastfeeding parent to do is just to feed them. No matter what else you do, that option is always there, it's instant and it usually works, so it's very tempting/normal to do it. Whereas if you're bottle feeding, you might think hmm, he's not due a feed yet, and try the rocking or patting etc first. Even if you do decide to give a bottle, unless you're very used to the baby's patterns it's not generally available instantly. It needs to be warmed or perhaps made and cooled. The baby might fall asleep with other methods in the meantime.

In the middle of the night, breastfeeding parents again have that super easy option. Making or fetching and warming a bottle in the middle of the night is not an easy option. The breastfeeding parent basically has an incentive to feed back to sleep while the bottle feeding parent has an incentive not to feed in the middle of the night.

Breastfeeding parents often choose to cosleep so that they can easily access the baby and make those easy night feeds even easier. Bottle feeding parents are less likely to do this because there is not the same advantage.

Basically, bottle feeding lends itself to feeding behaviours which are a bit "sleep training lite", whereas breastfeeding lends itself to behaviours which are directly the opposite of what sleep training proponents advise.

That's my theory anyway. You can of course replicate the bottle feeding approach while breastfeeding if you want to.

 

[strrpos]

@cutin Interesting thoughts. My own anecdotal experience seems to support this. I EBF'd but on a schedule, often burped baby afterward (I did feed him to sleep sometimes, but moved him to his crib once sleepy/asleep), and didn't cosleep. And he has been an excellent sleeper his whole life.

 

[harpgal]

@nader1 I don’t have a source to link to right now, but I read the sleeping over night is more tied to calories consumed during the day. If baby has enough calories during the day, they will not wake as much at night. Anecdotally my EBF baby slept 12 hours at night from 10ish weeks old, but she was on the boob all the time during the day

 

[phantomgaze]

@harpgal This is the theory behind 12 hours by 12 weeks and taking Cara babies- load calories during the day so they don't want them at night.

 

[asurfpro]

@harpgal We calorie load during the day and extra calorie load before bed. My daughter is fed at breast every two hours during the day and the two feeds before bed she gets 4oz bottles of expressed breast milk. She’s been sleeping 7-8 hour stretches since 7 weeks and now is doing 9 hour stretches at 12 weeks old.

 

[harpgal]

Well, this doesn’t quite align with above, but it does suggest less night feeding if get enough during the day https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25973527/[article](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25973527/)

 

[elizabeda777]

@nader1 You say your daughter ends up in bed with you at 4am every night. I’m sure you’ve probably looked at them but check out safe cosleeping guidelines

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

Accidental bedsharing is much more dangerous than planned

 

[nader1]

@elizabeda777 Yes we definitely follow safe sleep 7 when she is with me. But it still makes me feel anxious…

 

[mujahid7eng]

@nader1 I don't have any advice about getting baby to sleep, but I watched a YouTube video in which an anthropologist explained her research about normal infant sleep and the differences between breastfed and formula fed baby. She mentioned one small study (the linked video should start at this study) where the parents of formula-fed babies and parents of breastfed babies had to report how long they thought their babies slept and then they compared that to how long the babies actually slept according to monitors. There was no significant difference in how much the babies actually slept, but the parents of formula-fed parents overestimated how much their babies slept much more than the parents of breastfed babies. This probably doesn't help with your decision, but it did help me decide not to listen to anyone's stories about how their babies sleep.

 

[jesuslady990]

@nader1 Babies have to work harder for breast milk. It comes out of the breast much slower so they burn more calories while eating. Drinking from a bottle is just easier, baby burns less calories, sleeps a little longer.

Combo feeding is an incredible option I wish more people would explore. Being able to breastfeed your infant but also using the tools available to you (formula) to make life a bit easier and safer (parents getting more rest) is ideal.

 

[stellae]

@jesuslady990 This is what I’m planning on doing (14wks pregnant with twins) and I’m having such a hard time finding good supporting data or advice on it. Did you have a good resource in how to juggle/time what to do, when?

My thing is- I know I won’t survive being the only source of food for 2 at the same time. Need to spread the work a bit.

 

[bluedragon1988]

@nader1 Do you have a partner? Or possibly a close family friend who could help out? And do you have a guest bedroom or another bed that is in a separate room from the baby’s crib?

If so, I highly highly recommend switching to sleeping in shifts. This strategy saved my life and saved my marriage in those early months (I sleep trained my babies at 5ish months, which got my husband and I into the same bed at the same time again). It looked something like this:

At 6pm, you nurse the baby and hand him to partner. Partner puts baby to bed and you go to bed ASAP. Like, try to be in bed by 7. From 7p—1a, you turn on the white noise, put in some earplugs, whatever it takes to get as much sleep as possible. Partner does not wake you up unless the house is on fire or the baby needs to go to the hospital. Otherwise your sleep time is sacred. Partner can stay awake or doze during their shift, up to them. But they do not wake you up. If baby needs to eat during that time, they can have pumped milk or formula. Then at 1am, partner comes to bed and you go “on call.” If baby is awake at 1am, then partner can wake you up to switch off. If baby is asleep at shift change, then partner can just tiptoe in, put the baby monitor next to you, and put their own earplugs in. Then you can do the rest of the wake ups for the rest of the night and partner can sleep uninterrupted from 1–7am. Each of you gets 6 hours of unbroken sleep +whatever else baby wants to give you during your shift. It’s a game changer

 

[sunrise1471]

@bluedragon1988 This is naturally the pattern that my partner and I fell into. As soon as he comes home from work he takes over with the baby and I shower, eat or feed myself and my partner, and go to bed. He sleeps on the couch while the kid is in the pack n play, taking care of all baby needs, then sometime when the baby wakes up after midnight he'll bring the baby up to sleep in the bassinet. I'll take care of everything after midnight (ish). Usually ends up being about 2am for us. Roughly once a week he'll just take over for the full night and I'll sleep from 8ish until 7am. I wouldn't be able to do that if I was breastfeeding and for anyone who is breastfeeding I highly recommend trying to find a balance that allows them to get a solid block of sleep. Everyone will be happier and healthier.

 

[sunrise1471]

@bluedragon1988 This is naturally the pattern that my partner and I fell into. As soon as he comes home from work he takes over with the baby and I shower, eat or feed myself and my partner, and go to bed. He sleeps on the couch while the kid is in the pack n play, taking care of all baby needs, then sometime when the baby wakes up after midnight he'll bring the baby up to sleep in the bassinet. I'll take care of everything after midnight (ish). Usually ends up being about 2am for us. Roughly once a week he'll just take over for the full night and I'll sleep from 8ish until 7am. I wouldn't be able to do that if I was breastfeeding and for anyone who is breastfeeding I highly recommend trying to find a balance that allows them to get a solid block of sleep. Everyone will be happier and healthier.

 

[cherryblossom102]

@bluedragon1988 exactly what we are doing and it seems to work well for us. one challenge is for my partner to actually go to sleep early enough without getting distracted or catching up on other things at the beginning of her sleep shift. also, sometimes she’ll end up napping during the day and that can also disrupt the start of the early shift. overall it is working though.

 

[ciws]

@nader1 My formula fed baby sleeps like a nightmare. I see you and am right there with you. I truly hope a change in your routine helps turn things around.

 

[shenanigansandtoast]

@nader1 I've read around this alot and ultimately - you're right, the science is inconsistent.

It sounds like trying a bottle of formula at night is an option you want to explore - so go for it! Its a perfectly good, healthy, safe decision. Anecdotally (in my personal experience)- i've definitely seen formula leading to more/longer sleep (though ultimately i made the call to breastfeed my two boys, for other reasons)

As an experienced breastfeeder - i would only add a small thing to 'watch out' for is the 'top up trap' - if you do want to keep breastfeeding along with formula - then formula bottles can lead to a dip in breastmilk supply- its a common problem i've seen lots of my mum friends go through. Google 'how to avoid the top up trap' and theres lots of info- kellymom is a good website.

 

[ldingle]

@nader1 I’m not sure that it is known exactly why breastfeeding has additional SIDS reduction risk over formula. But yes it has been debunked that formula fed babies sleep longer.

Both my breastfed babies were great sleepers by about 3 months, 11-12 hrs with no wakeups. I did not have to do sleep training like CIO, but there are some things you can do to encourage sleep in the right direction, and you are at pretty much the ideal age to be working on it.

1. Get in tons of calories during the day and right before bed. Feed every 2-2.5 hrs, cap naps if needed. Feed twice during the last awake period before bed and try doing some breast compressions to help it along.
2. When baby wakes at night pause a few minutes and listen before running over. Wait and see if baby is able to wind back down on their own or whether they are escalating and need assistance. Don’t assume they need you every time or jump up at the first noise, they may just be passing between sleep cycles and your intervention can cause them to fully wake up.
3. Keep an eye on how long your baby’s longest sleep stretch is (the first one). Say she has done 5 hrs a few times. Then, if she wakes up much earlier than that I would first try to soothe her back to sleep without feeding. I bet most times she will go back to sleep without feeding, and if she is super hungry she will definitely let you know. This first stretch should lengthen over time. If you have a partner I would also suggest you have them be on call for baby during that first sleep stretch and be the one to soothe baby back to sleep while you put in some earplugs and get some much needed rest.
4. Start practicing putting baby to bed when she is still a little bit awake. Try it at the first nap of the day as that is often the easiest. Have a short consistent routine (like swaddle, dark, white noise, song, bed). Give her a bit of time to try it out (like 5-10 min), but if she gets too upset just go in and put her to sleep the usual way and try again the next day. She can get it, just takes some time and practice.
5. If you are comfortable with it, consider moving baby to her own room soonish. There is research showing that babies older than 4 months sleep better in their own room, as you are not disturbing them. The majority of SIDS risk has also passed at that time.

 

[voladol]

@nader1 The research seems well settled that breastfeeding is protective against SIDS but I believe the mechanism is unknown. Formula may indeed cause babies to sleep deeper but sleeping deeper and sleeping longer are not necessarily the same thing.

You can try formula to see if it helps your baby sleep. I’ve been through the sleep deprivation with my first baby and it is torture. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Please continue to look for ways to get more sleep. You have some good suggestions here regarding more calories during the day and maybe sleep training when your baby is ready *if you feel comfortable with that.