Can’t Lose the Damn Weight - 2 Years Postpartum

@cinamon Because toddlers need carbs and fat along with protein veg and fruit and if I’m trying to have a calorie deficit I’m going to avoid the first two things more and eat more veg and protein.
 
@morirach You can eat carbs and fat and still have a calorie deficit.

I was just wondering why your toddler ate differently. We just give ours what we are making for dinner, like tacos, pasta, etc. Sure, sometimes she doesn’t eat it all, but it’s not much different than what we have. My oldest, on the other hand, eats about 5 things so I understand picky eaters. In my experience, the little ones were easier with food, but every kid is different.
 
@morirach 1) have you had your thyroid levels checked lately? Pregnancy can cause thyroid issues.

2) Are these fats and carbs you mentioned from healthy sources? If so, it shouldn’t take a restricted diet, just eat smaller portions or reduce the fat in your serving ( like omitting the cheese).

I would not focus on the number on the scale but on the healthfulness of the food consumed by your family. I’ve lost weight recently from incorporating more beans into our diet. I think their filling fiber has caused me to eat less per meal.
 
@morirach I (small, inactive, history of sub-clinical EDs) had really good luck with noom. It’s goofy and basic—I think a lot of people expect it to be some sort of scientific conference, and it’s totally not. It’s counting calories/food log plus some stickers for reading about drinking water and eating vegetables.

It definitely helped me to conceptualize food priorities—I also love food and I’m not interested in enjoying food less. But cutting out processed snacks and most alcohol + eating lower caloric density meals for breakfast and lunch gave me more than enough space to have enjoyable, high-cal dinners and treats. I’m mostly getting blasted on mindless eating anyways, not on stuff I actually love.

…I should do it again, I’ve fallen off the wagon.
 
@morirach Did you see the Netflix special on gut health? There is a huge connection between gut bacteria and weight loss, and pregnancy changes your microbiome.

It’s very possible to do everything right and not be able to lose weight because you don’t have the right bacteria. There’s lots of research that shows the connection. I think we’re going to find out the microbiome was like the ozone layer, and we put holes in it with our chemicals.

The doctors suggested that she replace her bacteria with 20-30 fresh fruits and vegetables a week. Variety is apparently the key. For me personally, potatoes turned out to be super helpful.

Hope you find something that works for you! Every body is different…
 
@morirach I'm on my second year postpartum with my second kid. This is the heaviest I've ever been when not pregnant or breastfeeding. I've just started an intermittent fasting journey a few weeks ago and this has been the best result for getting me back on track. I've lost over 5lbs in 3 weeks. I'm very pleased so far. I feel way more in control to make healthier food choices and stop overeating so much. I'm doing fast for 16hrs / eat for 8hrs wiwndow during my period . Otherwise fasting for 18-20hrs /eating for 6-4hrs window. Only drink water, tea, or black coffee while fasting. Focusing on eating more vegetables and protein. Will be incorporating more exercise into my life next.
 
@morirach I have read that it takes up to 2 years post birth for women’s hormones to go back to normal after birth. I believe this can play into it. After my 1st, I was 10 lbs heavier than my pre pregnancy weight and it never ‘fell off’ like it did for everyone else.
After my 2nd, I was another 10 lbs heavier, but this time it did fall off with a solid effort of diet and exercise, and I dropped to only +4-5 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight from my 1st.
My personal trainer said those last 4 lbs may not happen because your bone density is different after the birth. I was very fit in the mirror and thought my clothes fit great, so those 4 extra weren’t bothering me.
Be kind to yourself 🤍
 
@morirach My son is 7. I’m almost double my size now than when I was pregnant. You couldn’t even tell I was pregnant until I turned around. Stress is my biggest factor I believe in regards to why I can’t get it to come off. Solidarity.
 
@morirach Please don’t be so hard on yourself! I was in the same boat after my second and ended up joining a virtual fitness coaching program designed for moms over 35. Happy to share the info if you’d like.

We ended up adding food to my diet- I wasnt eating enough protein! Added strength training in short workouts, 20 min 3 times a week. Lots of walking, more water. More veggies. Counting macros but I was eating more calories than before and without restrictions. I still eat chocolate and carbs, and I lost 20 lbs in 6 months.
 
@morirach I used to weigh and track everything I ate and after, realized I had been way under eating and completely effed up my metabolism. Focusing on a healthy relationship with food, satiety, and listening to my body for the first time in my adult life allowed my body to recover from years of restricting. The weight eventually fell off and I maintain a fairly lean look without having to restrict or over exercise. I do recommend making sure you’re properly hydrating, getting enough fiber, strength training, and getting more movement into your day. Personally, I do not track or diet anymore as I do not want to be in that headspace nor do I want to show that to my daughter. We tell her she can trust her body, and I want to lead by example.
 
@morirach When my youngest was about 18 months I saw a picture of myself with my oldest and was sort of appalled. I was about 20 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight, which was about 10 lbs over what I'd like to be. My doctor recommended some book that recommended 30 mins daily of pretty intense exercise as well as some eating tips. I started running 30 mins in the morning M-Friday and swimming 2x a week for about an hour or so. I gained a little more weight at first from being so hungry from all the exercise, then did around 8 months of CICO counting and revamping what I was eating- focusing on protein, adding in 10 mins of strength training daily to the other exercise I was doing. I've lost about 30 lbs and feel great. My mental health has really thrived on all the exercise. I sometimes eat the same as my kids, sometimes different things, mostly watch portion control, but if I'm eating something else we talk about what my body feels like it needs right then. I similarly talk about how much I enjoy exercise and it's never about weight. I don't think I'm sending the wrong message about any of those things. I do enjoy food, I'm just more strategic about what I'm eating.
 
@morirach Dude I cannot understand post baby weight. I work out just as much, probably eat less, but still have a solid 10-15 pounds of baby weight. The weird part is my old clothes still fit, same clothing size I was before…. And I feel like I look the same as I did before I got pregnant…. So where tf is this 10-15 pounds…. We literally got a new scale cuz I was convinced ours was broken
 
@morirach I'm in the same boat and I do think we need to eat different food than them. I'm trying to increase my amount of walking (12k steps a day most days) and have a salad once a day. If that doesn't start working soon, then I'll move to counting calories in/calories out with my fitbit, but I hate doing that so I'm trying other things first. The constant illness and the lack of sleep (which is mostly resolved) is what makes the whole thing harder for me.
 
@morirach I tried everything. I gained 30 lbs after I stopped breastfeeding and life went nutty (thanks pandemic). I tried personal trainers, diets, everything. I was exhausted from working out but sleep deprived cuz of my little ones. It was really hard and while I was growing stronger, I wasn't burning any fat or seeing any weight loss beyond 5 lbs. After 1.5 years of stressing and struggling, meal planning, calorie counting etc, I went on zepbound and am now losing a pound a week. I hate the injection since it burns like hell for me but it has still been such a great help (along with exercise and eating better). I wouldn't call it a miracle drug but definitely a help.

And just to add.... with all the responsibilities with a mom, figuring out what I should eat every day was so freaking hard. It took up so much of my mental load (is this healthy? when am i going to the grocery store? how many grams of protein did i eat today? do i need to buy 2 different types of bread (low carb vs regular for the kids)? etc etc etc. It was annoying to prep chicken breast + veg for me while also making dinner for my kids. It's so hard.
 
@morirach Perhaps get a full blood and hormone panel done by your GP? That’ll let you know if there’s something systemic holding back any weight loss.

Also, more protein, weight lifting, and sleep are generally important!
 
@morirach I don't severely restrict my diet, I still eat things I enjoy. I just pay attention to ingredients, try to make things homemade when I can, and make sure my body gets enough protein so I'm not starving even though I'm eating all day. I work my kids into that conversation, we always talk about what the protein of each meal is, what the carbs are, etc. and talk about the different jobs that foods do. Some provide protein to help us stay full longer, some have good vitamins for a variety of different things, and some just taste good and don't provide anything else and that's ok too.

So yeah, CI/CO - you don't have to severely restrict yourself at all. Just take note of what it is you;re eating!
 
@morirach Ugh it is so so difficult. I have a 3.5yo who still doesn't reliably STTN, so fighting sleep deprivation and trying to maintain a healthy weight and exercise can feel brutal. Also as others say, your body architecture changes permanently (for some people) after kids. My hips are just a different set of dimensions than before, and that will never change.

To your specific question about meals, this has suddenly gotten way more challenging since my husband was diagnosed with NASH a few weeks ago, which is basically the most severe form of liver disease that still is reversible. And it's reversible with a strict diet, exercise, and weight loss. It would probably be easier to say what he can vs. can't eat, but basically Mediterranean diet minus a bunch of standard Mediterranean things. So this has been a challenge with a 3.5yo, to say the least. But many nights, yes, actually, what we do is make a hearty salad for us, and she gets to eat the components of it. So last night she got to eat grilled chicken and sweet potatoes, and we had a kale salad with chicken, sweet potatoes, quinoa, and goat cheese (though even goat cheese and grilled chicken are kind of iffy foods per the orders of my husband's doctor). Really hoping she jumps on the quinoa bandwagon soon. I totally get your concern about sending the wrong message about food to your LO, and that's honestly what I really worry about. I just try to stay neutral about the salad and say we understand she doesn't like kale/spinach but we really do, and unlike her we like to mix our food together.

High blood pressure runs in my family, and I'm borderline, and one of the main interventions is weight loss, so I do need to keep an eye on my weight to try to ensure I have many healthy years with my daughter. It's still a work in progress for me, but I have implemented some lifestyle changes without doing anything drastic which would make it (for me) completely unsustainable. I do light intermittent fasting (rarely do I hit 16:8), for instance. Or I found the nutritionist's recommendation of 1200 to 1400 calories a day was just too little to be sustainable long-term for me, so I eat a bit over that and the weight loss is much much slower, but still technically there. Once I got a sense of what was satiating for a day, I stopped literally counting calories and just tried to keep mimicking those meal patterns. I also found workouts I actually enjoy rather than killing myself doing HIIT. That turned out to be kick boxing because there's a little mental challenge mixed in, and I can pretend I'm in a street fight and all that. I also focus on working out solely for the cardiovascular and mood benefits rather than thinking it will help with weight loss, since so much of that is diet.

And: this sounds terrible, but all in all, stomach bugs from daycare (and I'm lumping omicron in there since it's the only time since college I've vomited) have probably helped me with 10 to 15 lb of the weight I've lost.
 
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