Baby won't accept breast nor formula - help!

[jayh87]

My baby started training for breastfeeding last week. His suction is pretty strong, but I noticed that nothing seems to come out of my boobs, and he would grown very frustrated, even though I know I have milk and can hand-express it with ease. The pediatrician came to examine us and saw that my nipples are very short. Not inverted, but short nevertheless. He laches and does his best, but it's hard for him. It doesn't help that he is still mildly dependent from extra O² and gets tired.

So we are complementing his diet with formula... Which he would eat at first but now refuses and promptly vomits it after drinking like half the cup. He lost 85 grams.

I'm at my wits end. We tried every breastfeeding position. I tried a nipple shield that is supposed to help with short nipples. I tried increasing the supply, and tried to hand express on his lip, and pinch the nipple to put it directly in his mouth. The lactation consultant came when I ask and spent an hour trying to make him eat, and he won't. He vomited on the Fonoaudiologist when she said she could feed him the formula that I couldn't. Idk what to do anymore, the professionals couldn't help me nor Google.

Edit: baby is now 35 weeks

 

[clstan]

@jayh87 This probably isn't helpful, but I ended up almost exclusively pumping because my son was not efficient at nursing. No tongue ties or lip ties. The lactation consultant estimated he was only getting 5-10 mL from me before giving up.

But pumping worked out pretty good. There's an Exclusively Pumping subreddit if you want more support with it.

We also used informal peer to peer milk donations. There's Human Milk for Human Babies but I had better luck just posting on my personal Facebook page with my struggles and three people came forward with their milk. I couldn't pump enough on my own. But informal milk donations does have its risks.

My other suggestion would be to reach out the hospital where your baby was in the nicu at. They most likely have a dietician on staff that can give suggestions. Even though my son had not been in the NICU for a few months, I messaged them about formula recommendations and they were happy to give me advice and recommendations.

 

[bringmetothelight]

@clstan This here: If you plan to breastfeed you should start pumping this will maintain your supple baby can have it easily and when they are stronger you can again try latching… I pumped for my nicu baby till they were 2.5 months adjusted and then slowly they shifted exclusively to breast… it takes time and patience and effort but you can do it

 

[gisellemartinez1]

@clstan I ended up exclusively pumping for 15 months. r/ExclusivelyPumping was an absolute life saver for making it that long. I wouldn't personally recommend peer to peer milk donations for a NICU kid though, and many NICUs won't accept it.

 

[clstan]

@gisellemartinez1 Oh no, if they're still in the NICU, I also wouldn't recommend peer to peer. I would only recommend it once they're out and are not as immunocompromised. Unfortunately, official milk banks are often unobtainable due to cost and scarcity.

I combo fed with my own breastmilk, donor milk, and formula. It was during the height of the formula shortage and despite pumping 8-11 times a day, I wasn't producing enough milk. I had this wonderful donor who donated to us every other week and she really saved us. I ended up being friends with her afterwards and I'll always be grateful for such an intimate gift.

 

[nickmanwithaplanb]

@clstan I came here to say this. Not that you have to be excited that this is an option OP, but it is a possibility many people don’t know about because lactation consultants and pediatricians don’t really present it.

My little one never latched and we didn’t have a lot of obstacles stopping us. He just didn’t. I got on an exclusive pumping schedule and we’ve been doing great! He’s gained a ton of weight, I get to know exactly how much he’s getting, still getting breastmilk, everyone can get in on the fun of feeding him…etc. there’s a sub (r/Exclusivelypumping) if you want to come check us out. It’s a great supportive community.

Again, not saying this is what you should do or don’t have the right to feel frustrated. It’s so frustrating. But might be something to think about!

 

[sirsteve]

@jayh87 The obvious third option would be expressed breastmilk in a bottle. Have you tried that? I’d also recommend doing a weighted feed with some breastfeeding sessions. They aren’t super reliable but can give you some idea of what your baby is drinking.

How old is your baby currently? It can be quite hard for premature babies to get the hang of feeding. Doesn’t necessarily mean something devastating, they may just need more time. Before desperation sets in I’d ask for a conversation with the NICU doctor or nurses and ask how they are these setbacks and how they intend to deal with them.

 

[jayh87]

@sirsteve I tried that, but the issue is I produce very little (he eats like 45ml and I make 15ml tops). I was hoping that when I started breastfeeding it would increase, but since I haven't been able to do that, no success lol. I also don't always have time to pump or hand express like I used to because it takes soooo long to feed him since he keeps refusing, and by the time we finish I have to comfort him for a while. Sometimes he just spills it all or vomits and I have to change all his clothes, then he gets fussy for a long time. I'm choosing to use the little time in between those horrendous feedings to sleep and eat

I will suggest to the nurses that we weight him before and after. It surely would give me some peace of mind to know how much he is actually getting.

He is 35 weeks, but born at 31+3 I was told he had fetal suffering while in the belly and didn't grow as much as he was supposed to, so he acts more immature than he is. Apparently they were not very concerned when I brought up he isn't eating one way or another, until they saw how much weight he lost. Now idk