Anxiety of not know if the pregnancy is going fine or not

[thongcongnghetcucre]

Hi all, just stumbled across this subreddit. My wife and I are pregnant with our first child and just passed 13 weeks. We just told our family’s which was very exciting, but I can’t help but feel anxious all the time not knowing if everything is going well in the pregnancy. We had our last appointment at 10 weeks and everything was all good then, but still the feeling lingers. This Is our first time getting pregnant since trying as well. Has anyone else felt this way before? Just being so out of control is scary.

Thanks and I’m excited to go on this journey with y’all.

 

[ashleyjordan2144]

@thongcongnghetcucre Here for you fellow predad. It’s a wild ride. Getting a formal ultrasound done was a complete perspective shift for wife and I.

 

[minhnguyen2k]

@thongcongnghetcucre There will always be something that will keep you worried mate…

Before 20wks - i was always worried that something will happen to my child

My wife is now 23 wks and she can feel the child kicking goals in her tummy but still I am still worried that something may happen.

When the child will be born, we will still get worried bout something again.

I guess this is something that we signed up for. Try to not worry too much and be there to support your wife.

All the best to all of us.

 

[whiteisfamily]

@thongcongnghetcucre Same thing here. We had our first ultrasound early at a little before 6 weeks and they couldn’t find a heart beat(totally reasonable time frame). We were a total wreck until we heard it strong at about 10 weeks. I cried so hard because I had to keep it together for her while I was scared out of my mind. That feeling has never really left me. It’s always been a different thing at different stages. Last one I was freaking out about was passing the genetic testing(C+ so all good).

I am hoping the fear goes away once we get the 20 week ultra sound(which just got delayed 2 weeks so wooo) but I am not holding my breath.

Next pregnancy I am renting one of those devices so I can hear the heart beat at home at any time.

 

[haritsatheesan]

@whiteisfamily We rented one of those devices with our first pregnancy. Super cool to hear the heartbeat whenever you want. My only advice is make sure you and your wife both understand they are a little tricky to use and it can be difficult to find the heart beat on your own the first few times. The last thing you want is to rent “reassurance” only to become discouraged because the device is inaccurate.

 

[hariel]

@thongcongnghetcucre See if you can get private ultrasounds without paying too much if it's causing you a lot of anxiety. In my country we have very, VERY regular ultrasounds and no damage to the babies, so it's perfectly safe to have some extra scans for peace of mind.

Either way, I get you. We had losses and issues getting and staying pregnant and it was very stressful for us, I can't say we enjoyed the pregnancy because we were so damn anxious all the time. It's hard.

 

[mushka]

@thongcongnghetcucre Getting a fetal Doppler to use once a week helped me immensely. Also NIPT genetic testing, ask your doctor.

Then once you get past the anatomy scan and start feeling them move it gets a LOT easier

 

[neontetra]

@thongcongnghetcucre My partner is 33w3d today and I still feel like this! You'll get used to it.

 

[lightanddark]

@thongcongnghetcucre We've had a few private scans. Good to see baby is in the right place, heartbeat strong, etc. Great for piece of mind and worth the cost

 

[greenviolets]

@thongcongnghetcucre My wife is 19 weeks pregnant and we have struggled with the same fears off and on our entire pregnancy. We had a loss previously which has only added to our concerns this pregnancy. My advice would be to try and focus on things in your control and try your best to embrace what’s going on knowing your little one is trying his or her best to grow.

 

[user_random]

@thongcongnghetcucre It's interesting and completely normal that you're feeling this way; so much of what we are taught to believe about pregnancy assumes everything will be perfect. Statistically, it's certainly true that, more often than not, things do turn out fine. But in the beginning, nothing is a guarantee, and it pays to be cautiously optimistic. You cannot be consumed by your anxiety, but you can't assume everything will be perfect. Naturally, it depends on how much info you get, but yeah, it's a nail-biter for a good while if you let it eat at you.

My wife and I had to say goodbye to our first at 16.5wks, and our second just passed 20 wks a couple of days ago. Going through what can go wrong certainly ruins this notion of an ideal pregnancy, so believe me when I say I'm right there with you. Around this time, we can start to feel the baby kick, so that does start to ease out minds (that and the follow up scans), so hopefully you get there and look forward to that.

All this is to say, yes, it is quite normal to feel this way. There's a lot you can do (tests, research, etc.) but there's a lot that is outside of your control. Stay present with your wife as much as you can; that's all you can do to battle the anxiety. Good luck to you