Advice on 1:1 with new boss about growth after a bad boss ruined reputation

[nomadwanderer]

Need some very important advice navigating a relationship with a new boss who knows how horrible my old boss was (to some extent). This is a very long read so thankful to those who do and help me

Long story: I have been at my company almost 3 years. My first year my boss put me on a PIP, she had only been there 2 years and also did it to the girl before me. I received my PIP in early 2023. Shortly after my boss’ boss left and was replaced by D. This woman terrorized all of us, my our life hell. During that time I did come off my PIP. My boss left shortly after I came off it (as did many other people because of D) and I was stuck directly reporting to D for half a year. She made a ton of mistakes, can’t understand simple things about the business, downtalked all of us, never listened, and constantly threw us under the bus (I heard about it from numerous higher ups in other departments who value me as a partner). A few months after I got a new boss V, this new boss was internal and felt hoodwinked that she wasn’t told how awful D is, despite many people know it. V saw right away I had a bad attitude bc how poorly D treated me but was very smart and helpful so wanted to help me. All through this time myself, my team members, and people in other departments had meetings with HR on D. Nothing changed.

2023 PMDs came out in early 2024 and I got the lowest level rating again because D needed to keep me as her scapegoat to leadership when mistakes were found. I had been applying this whole time but exhausted with doing 3 peoples job (I was always 2 people and then plus my boss when she left, that I was too tired). When PMDs came and I didn’t get a raise or bonus when working 70-80 hour weeks I went HARD on applying. My new boss V also did not agree with my rating but only being there a few months was trumped.

Then in April D got fired everyone immediately looked at me and knew this was great news. A few close colleagues and mentors knew I was receiving other offers by this time and begged me to stay saying I’m in such a good position now, all I need to do is prove myself. AGAIN. Anyways I did not take the new offers due to shit maternity leave and poor benefits and I feel happier at my current job as it’s really what I want. My current boss knows I was interviewing and also wants me to stay but says my no raise and bonus is done, and again, I just need to prove myself as all leadership team realize D lied about so much and was a crappy leader and employee.

Now for about a month P has taken over for D. She is also internal and very smart and I really like her. And she seems to like me. I have presented new things I’ve done and she calls immediately after to tell me what a good job I did and offer actually helpful advice. She is always telling everyone how impressed she is by me and how much I know about the business and sales deals and things outside of my scope. Someone started a few months before her too to take on half my role that was always meant to be someone else and he has praised me and she has heard that and told everyone.

So the advice part. I asked P for a 1:1, V even suggested this so I’m not going over her. About my growth and development. D and my boss before her essentially put me in a place that I can’t move out from but now I feel I could have that support. I want to talk to P about my growth and development, I want her to know I did not get a raise, I want her to know I am getting offers although stopped applying as now I’m happier but that I don’t have to be stuck here. I want to know there’s upward movement and a way to make what D did to me right now that everyone sees how good I am. How do I do all of this without sounding like I am complaining or throwing D under the bus as an excuse?

 

[hoosierjoe]

@nomadwanderer Might I suggest cross posting this to r/managers

 

[tanjaw]

@hoosierjoe Also cross post this to r/ManagedByNarcissists

 

[grace4nan]

@nomadwanderer I want to point out a few things to you that you may not realize. D has scapegoated you. That's why you ended up with the lowest ranking and no raise despite doing the work of 3 people. Have you ever considered that senior management and leadership is scapegoating D? Oh D did this to you, not us.

If as you say, multiple people had reported her to HR etc. and nothing was done for ages, well this company sucks. It's not just D. I just want you to go into this with your eyes open. If you turned down other jobs because or whatever reason, that's fine. It's good to be picky. But I'd advise you stay critical.

How I would handle P. Explain all your accomplishments. List out your supporters and the praise they have given you. Tell her you are incredibly unhappy with your performance assessment and where you have landed. Explain how hard you have been working. How you were given the job of 3 people, and that is not sustainable.

Propose what you expect to change and a timeline. Be your own best advocate. See what she says. Listen. And if you feel like it's all lip service, keep looking for a job.

And no matter what, please stop doing other people's jobs. Do only your own work only. Work 40hrs a week. If things aren't getting done, it's not your problem. Your job is to let your supervisor/manager know what you are and are not doing. Not to do it all. Their job is to ensure proper staffing levels.

 

[clarastew]

@nomadwanderer If you’re truly doing the work of 3 people with no raise or bonus, list out your job responsibilities for your specific position, plus your current responsibilities. When you meet with your boss, show her the list and just explain, “I am doing ABC per my job description and I am also doing XYZ to support the company. I have been doing this for [period of time] with no additional compensation. Leadership has said that I need to ‘prove myself,’ however I feel that I already have time and again, as demonstrated by taking on all of these additional responsibilities. I would like to be compensated [raise amount] for this additional work otherwise I may need to start looking elsewhere for employment.”