Advice about dressing for a wedding postpartum

[mimi]

Looking for advice from some veteran moms here. I have a… unique challenge in front of me. My best friend is getting married 9 weeks 5 days after my due date, and I’m a bridesmaid.

I called local tailors and it sounds like size alterations will not be practical on the timeline that I’ll be working with, so I’m trying to buy the dress in a size I can hopefully fit into at that stage. I tried it on in a size that fit me perfectly at 26 weeks pregnant. This size was 2-3 sizes larger than my pre-pregnancy size.

I just need opinions at this point. How would you play this? Would you get this dress that fits you at 26 weeks? A dress 1-2 sizes up from pre-pregnancy? This is such a challenge!

EDITED FOR CLARITY: I’m trying to figure out whether it is a common experience for moms 9 weeks postpartum to be as big as they were at 25-26 weeks, or if they were a little smaller than that. I am not able to buy multiple sizes and return them.

I am deciding between a dress size that would fit me in my late second/early third trimester, or one size down from that. Both options are larger than my pre-pregnancy size.

 

[jessica468]

@mimi I was in this exact situation! I ended up getting a size larger than I typically wear when pregnant and it worked out even though it definitely wasn’t a perfect fit. My ribs and breasts were much bigger proportionally compared to before I got pregnant—they didn’t go back to normal size until I weaned breastfeeding. I could’ve used a larger cup size for the dress at least.

Is this a dress that you can pick out from a selection of styles? If so, I’d find the one that seems the most forgiving.

 

[mimi]

@jessica468 This is really helpful! I have a forgiving style chosen. So to clarify, did you choose ONE size larger than your pre-pregnancy size?

Two sizes up fits me perfectly at the end of my second trimester. What I’m trying to understand is people’s experience 9 weeks out; were they as big as they were at 25 weeks, or a little smaller.

 

[jessica468]

@mimi Yes, one size larger than pre-pregnancy size. I was 10 weeks postpartum when I was in the wedding and I’d estimate that I fit in a comparable size to what I wore at about 20 weeks pregnant. The day I left the hospital I fit into what I wore at around 32 weeks if that helps you gauge things.

 

[mimi]

@jessica468 That’s super helpful, thank you! There’s no way to really know for sure what to do here, but hearing experiences like yours provides me with great data. I appreciate it!

 

[raffaele]

@mimi This is a hard one because it’s impossible to accurately predict what size you’ll be 9 weeks postpartum. the only thing I can think of is if the size you end up buying is a bit too tight by the time you need to wear it, shapewear might help so it fits better! Hope this helps

 

[jluponeage]

@mimi Are you able to select the style? And are you planning to breastfeed? It’s honestly challenging to determine what size you’d need, but features like smocking/elastic and corset or lace up backs can be more forgiving. And make sure you allow for a larger bust, ribcage, and belly specifically than you had pre-pregnancy. At 9-ish weeks, you’ll likely still have a bit of a belly, and I personally gained way more bust size than typical but it made it hard to fit into clothes (I went from a 32E to a 36H), so having built in adjustability will be helpful.

Also remember that bridal/formal sizing often runs smaller than regular sizing, so if you’re an 8/10 regular, that’s a 10/12 bridal. I was an 8/10 when I got married and my wedding dress was a 12, so a 14 is really just 1 size up from your pre pregnancy sizing if you’re talking bridal sizes.

 

[mimi]

@jluponeage I have selected a style from among the available choices and feel very happy with it. It is not adjustable but has some stretch. Because I have tried it on, I have a good idea of the general sizing framework.

My choices are a) buy the dress that fit me perfectly at 25 weeks pregnant, or b) buy a dress the size below that, which would be 1-2 sizes larger than my pre-pregnancy size.

 

[jluponeage]

@mimi That’s fine, I’m just giving information from my experience with how my body changed in unexpected ways during the 3rd and 4th trimester.

I would definitely go with the size that fit perfectly. You can always take it in a little with safety pins or tacking if you have to, but you can’t do anything about it being too small. And your bust especially is unlikely to shrink much by 9 weeks, even if you formula feed, so you’ll almost certainly need the larger size there anyway.

 

[mimi]

@jluponeage I’d love more information, if you’re willing to share. Specifically, did you find that at 9.5 weeks your body was closer in size to the start of your third trimester, or closer to a little earlier on?

 

[jluponeage]

@mimi Pretty similar to 25 weeks pregnant in terms of my belly, but my breasts got larger and stayed larger. Around 9 weeks is when I finally went and bought regular jeans that fit - which were size 14 because my belly was still bigger but I wanted to be done with my maternity jeans.

A few points of reference: at my cousin’s baby shower (10 weeks pp, 9 weeks after my due date), we played the “guess what size her belly is” game. I wrapped the string around my bust and used that as my guess for her 35 weeks pregnant belly - and I won. I then rented a few dresses for an event around 5 months pp, only to find that they fit except they wouldn’t zip over my bust.

I think it’s easy to focus on the belly, because it’s the thing we’re (usually) most self-conscious about, but when it came to fit, it wasn’t the worst of my problems. Since weaning 3 months ago, my bust is back down to around a 36DDD/34F depending on the bra. Your body may be different, of course, but it’s hard to predict, which is why anything that gives a little more adjustability is so important, especially if you haven’t been through it before and don’t know anything about how your body might respond.

 

[mimi]

@jluponeage Thank you for sharing your experience! I feel your pain— so far I’ve gone from a D to a G cup, and my milk isn’t even in. Luckily the style I have chosen has tons of room for extra boob baggage. I’ll likely aim for the size that fits my belly at 25 weeks. Thanks again.

 

[boby777]

@mimi This happened to me. I was a bridesmaid in my BILs wedding at 11 weeks pp. I was back to prepregnancy weight, but definitely not body composition so sizing was still off. Luckily the bride let us all pick different dress styles, so I just ordered a formal dress in the correct color 1-2 weeks out. If you can do this it’s not so bad. Hemming can usually be done quickly if you end up needing that.

If not, maybe consider other vendors for alterations that are not marketed as wedding/bridesmaid seamstresses. The alterations may not be perfect, but should be good enough to get through the day. I’d recommend an a-line silhouette with generous room in the bust. That way you aren’t worried about tailoring around for hips/butt.

The other idea is to apologize to your friend and only attend the wedding as a guest.

 

[mimi]

@boby777 I’m glad it worked out so well for you! I’m definitely not going to bow out of being in the wedding party because of the outfit.

I have selected a style I feel great in from the company that she chose. Unfortunately they do not allow returns and it takes 8 weeks lead time to make the dress. My choices are a) buy a dress that fits me at 25 weeks pregnant, or b) buy a dress the size below that, which would be 1-2 sizes larger than my pre-pregnancy size.

 

[mitagen1969]

@mimi The same exact thing happened to me. I was a bridesmaid and the wedding took place 5 days after my c-section and the dress that I upped a size didn’t fit due to ofc being fresh out the hospital as well as swelling. I ended up having to buy a dress off of amazon that was in her color scheme and it ended out working. It was a dress that was very stretchy and allowed for the top part to be twisted into different ways so you can wear the dress in multiple ways in which however you are most comfortable. Worst case scenario you step down from being a bridesmaid and wear a dress that does fit you so you are comfortable! I ended up giving the bride that option so I can be comfortable and just in case the Amazon dress didn’t work out.

 

[mimi]

@mitagen1969 5 days! Holy moly!!! I’m so glad it ended up working out and that you were able to make it.

 

[reileys]

@mimi I would say the 2 sizes bigger option as it would be a lot easier and quicker to take in a dress that will be too big than make one bigger thats too small (thats if its a fabric that can be taken in). You should be able to find a tailor that could take a dress in within 4 weeks if you shop around.

I ended up being about 1.5-2 sizes bigger (usually a 10-12 and i was a 14-16 at around 10pp) but I had an emergency c section so was a lot less mobile. I would factor that possibility in as I know those with uncomplicated births tend to lose the baby weight a little faster due to being more mobile.

I know that personally Id rather not panic about losing weight in the first few months. Plus side.. if it is too big you can eat as much cake as you want to "fill it"!

 

[mimi]

@reileys Thanks for sharing your experience! I appreciate it. Unfortunately tailoring is out of the question, but the information you’ve shared about what you went through gives me a lot more data than I started with. Thanks again.

 

[sandybear]

@mimi I am 8 months postpartum, I was a size 6-8 before pregnancy and currently a 12-14. Very slowly losing weight. Some people are back to ppw in the first 6 weeks. It's just impossible to know. I wasn't a bridesmaid but I went to a wedding soon pp and wore a wrap style dress two sizes above my normal which worked really well.

I have used seamstresses that could work with that timeline though, I think it's worth calling around to private ones especially to see if you could pay a rush fee to get it done quickly.

 

[mimi]

@sandybear Thank you for sharing your experience! Honestly, I’d rather it just be too big than be hustling shortly postpartum to get to a seamstress when my body is still changing anyway. Seems like 2 sizes up from my pre-pregnancy is a safe zone to pitch it. Thanks again!