learningaboutreligion
New member
not sure if this belongs here, but I figured I’d try.
TLDR at the end
I live with my brother and his two sons (14 and 9). The kids have a giant 2008 or 2010 Samsung flatscreen TV that was previously in the living room before we got a new one last year. We didn’t want to throw it out, it still worked, just very old and outdated, so we put it in the kid’s room since they hadn’t had one and we had no where else to put it. The 14 year old, we’ll call him Larry, and the 9 year old, we’ll call him Saul, were playing a video game. When Saul lost the game, he threw his controller at the TV, smashed the screen, and now the TV is broken (the sound plays when it turns on but the screen won’t come on).
background information about the kids:
Saul (the 9 yo) has a long history of crying and angry outbursts. All his life he’s been kicked out of numerous camps, for his temper and failure to get along with other kids and has had a consistent defiance streak, being written up by teachers for it. Larry (the 14 yo) had similar problems since the time he was born. He was diagnosed with autism at 6 or 7 years old and put in counseling. Larry has since impressed all of us in the family with the improvements he’s made in his emotional intelligence, self-control, and self-awareness. Saul, on the other hand, has had even worse rage issues and emotional outbursts. (He’s never been seen by a professional, and never had counseling.)
The point/question:
This isn’t any kind of a one-time accident, as Saul has always had problems with self-control and has been punished so many times for it. So, my brother is at a loss for what to do with him. No idea how to punish him properly. Especially since we all have been trying work him on his rage and impulses. My brother is not much of a researcher, but I am and I couldn’t find any help or advise online so I thought I would post this here, in hopes maybe some other parents have advice on this. Hoping I can give my brother some suggestions on what to do. We’re going to try getting him with a therapist to work through these issues. Anyone have any advice or personal experience they’d care to share with me?
TLDR:
My nephew with a history of rage issues and emotional outbursts has smashed our flatscreen TV after losing a game. What do you think would be the best way to handle this situation? What would be the best way to discipline him?
Thanks!
*UPDATE!!*
he is now in therapy and my heart is very full knowing they are finally taking this first step to helping him in some way. he is such a sweet kid, w a heavy heart and a heavy conscience. i’m not just saying this - he is always trying to help people. my pregnant sister, he is always trying to help her out, always making sure she is comfortable and off her feet. if he sees anyone struggling, physically or emotionally, he’s right there to ask what he can do to help you. when i was going through a deep heartbreak, he cried with me bc he could see how upset i was and he gives the biggest hugs known to man. with the biggest smile to greet everyone he meets. he is not an inherently bad child. he often has wonderful intentions but, a very quick and intense onset of emotions associated with impulse-control seems to be his biggest obstacle, and is holding him back from being a happy and healthy child. i’m just so happy he is finally getting the same amount of help his brother is getting. he deserves the best chance at a healthy life, able to respect healthy boundaries of others, without having to sacrifice his own mental health for the sake of those around him (like by bottling up those intense emotions). he is still punished (albeit, not as much as i think he should be, but unfortunately i’m not the parent, so i don’t have much control) i talk with him about it every chance i can, so that he doesn’t try to “forget” what happened, but instead tries to grow from it and learn better ways to behave and react. i am back in my current town, now and missing him dearly. i just want to very best for him, and would love to see him be able to work through these issues. hoping therapy will be that first step.
thank you all for your comments!
TLDR at the end
I live with my brother and his two sons (14 and 9). The kids have a giant 2008 or 2010 Samsung flatscreen TV that was previously in the living room before we got a new one last year. We didn’t want to throw it out, it still worked, just very old and outdated, so we put it in the kid’s room since they hadn’t had one and we had no where else to put it. The 14 year old, we’ll call him Larry, and the 9 year old, we’ll call him Saul, were playing a video game. When Saul lost the game, he threw his controller at the TV, smashed the screen, and now the TV is broken (the sound plays when it turns on but the screen won’t come on).
background information about the kids:
Saul (the 9 yo) has a long history of crying and angry outbursts. All his life he’s been kicked out of numerous camps, for his temper and failure to get along with other kids and has had a consistent defiance streak, being written up by teachers for it. Larry (the 14 yo) had similar problems since the time he was born. He was diagnosed with autism at 6 or 7 years old and put in counseling. Larry has since impressed all of us in the family with the improvements he’s made in his emotional intelligence, self-control, and self-awareness. Saul, on the other hand, has had even worse rage issues and emotional outbursts. (He’s never been seen by a professional, and never had counseling.)
The point/question:
This isn’t any kind of a one-time accident, as Saul has always had problems with self-control and has been punished so many times for it. So, my brother is at a loss for what to do with him. No idea how to punish him properly. Especially since we all have been trying work him on his rage and impulses. My brother is not much of a researcher, but I am and I couldn’t find any help or advise online so I thought I would post this here, in hopes maybe some other parents have advice on this. Hoping I can give my brother some suggestions on what to do. We’re going to try getting him with a therapist to work through these issues. Anyone have any advice or personal experience they’d care to share with me?
TLDR:
My nephew with a history of rage issues and emotional outbursts has smashed our flatscreen TV after losing a game. What do you think would be the best way to handle this situation? What would be the best way to discipline him?
Thanks!
*UPDATE!!*
he is now in therapy and my heart is very full knowing they are finally taking this first step to helping him in some way. he is such a sweet kid, w a heavy heart and a heavy conscience. i’m not just saying this - he is always trying to help people. my pregnant sister, he is always trying to help her out, always making sure she is comfortable and off her feet. if he sees anyone struggling, physically or emotionally, he’s right there to ask what he can do to help you. when i was going through a deep heartbreak, he cried with me bc he could see how upset i was and he gives the biggest hugs known to man. with the biggest smile to greet everyone he meets. he is not an inherently bad child. he often has wonderful intentions but, a very quick and intense onset of emotions associated with impulse-control seems to be his biggest obstacle, and is holding him back from being a happy and healthy child. i’m just so happy he is finally getting the same amount of help his brother is getting. he deserves the best chance at a healthy life, able to respect healthy boundaries of others, without having to sacrifice his own mental health for the sake of those around him (like by bottling up those intense emotions). he is still punished (albeit, not as much as i think he should be, but unfortunately i’m not the parent, so i don’t have much control) i talk with him about it every chance i can, so that he doesn’t try to “forget” what happened, but instead tries to grow from it and learn better ways to behave and react. i am back in my current town, now and missing him dearly. i just want to very best for him, and would love to see him be able to work through these issues. hoping therapy will be that first step.
thank you all for your comments!