8 month old silent reflux baby

[christfollower19]

Hi all!

I've posted several times in r/sleeptrain and r/beyondthebump and haven't received much help.

I have an 8 month old baby who we are at our wits end trying to get to sleep. She is ebf and will take a bottle. She's teething but has no teeth yet. She is not crawling yet. She wakes up at 6ish. Will nap at 8:30/12 or 1/5:30 or 6. She normally naps for at most an hour. She is a contact napper exclusively and has only taken one 45- minute nap independently since birth.

Okay - here's our issue. We've got her on Prevacid to treat her silent reflux. She's been on it for 3 weeks or so. Initially we saw a huge improvement in her sleep but not anymore. She has been sleeping for no more than an hour at a time when we put her in her crib since she was 4 months old. She had colic and we think she never really outgrew it but when she started solids - it got so much worse. Last night, for example, she was awake everytime we transfered her after 5 minutes. We normally give up around midnight and put her in our bed so we can sleep. But I have to hold and nurse her all night.

Last night she cried even in the bed with us. We are beyond what to do. She wants to be held constantly and now we don't even have our nights to ourselves. Like I said going on 5 months of progressively worse and worse sleep. She slept independently in her bassinet and at first she did in her crib too.

I feel like I'm doing something wrong and I don't know what or how to fix it. She scream cries, arches her back, coughs, and almost growls laying on her back. We try to get her on her side but she won't stay there - its like wrestling an alligator. She does sleep better on her side but she always rolls to her back now and wakes herself up around the 1 hour mark. We let her cry for 5 minutes then go up to resettle her but it's basically just been passing her back and forth for hours.

Our pediatrician hasnt recommended sleep training yet because of her reflux - any suggestions to help we are open to. I feel so guilty cosleeping but I'm literally exhausted

If you made it this far, thanks. I think I just need some reassurance that others are going through this and are cosleeping and that it gets better.

 

[willargue23]

@christfollower19 My son had undiagnosed CMPA and a soy allergy and struggled to sleep at all for months before I switched to co-sleeping. I decided I wasn't going to feel guilty, mothers have slept like this since the dawn of time and my biology and entire being feels like LO and I need to be close at night

In that time, his tummy issues resolved themselves and he now sleeps through the night. This past month he has been sick, and cosleeping has once again saved us.

Some things that helped me were: having whatever will lead to pain relief within an arms reach at night (breastfeeding cart side of the bed): I've been able to reach over hardly waking up and get gas drops, cold pacifiers, etc. My LO also loves being held when in pain so we've devised a safe way for him to sleep in the crook of my arm and that gets him to sleep- an hour or so later my arm falls asleep lol and I'm able to roll him out from under there and we both sleep.

It does like your pediatrician is no help. We switched pediatricians in the beginning and it was extremely helpful. She should be able to address your concerns and offer solutions- your daughter shouldn't just be in unresolved pain for months and months. Maybe try someone else?

 

[christfollower19]

@willargue23 I hold my girl to sleep. It's like the cuddle curl but close to my body on her side. I still haven't mastered the sidelying breastfeeding and LO wakes up and screams because she can't get to my nipple. Ugh

 

[willargue23]

@christfollower19 Our nursing journey wasn't successful for multiple reasons so I'm an exclusive pumper instead: but something that helps us is a scheduled dream feed and pacifiers.

My son starts to fuss and is ready to eat around 10pm after his 7pm bedtime, has a bottle, then is usually good until 6 or 7am the next morning. If he needs comfort at night I use a pacifier or regular snuggles. Not sure if a scheduled dream feed would be helpful in keeping her tummy full enough to get a decent stretch of sleep?

 

[summerwillow]

@christfollower19 hi my first baby became impossible to crib transfer at 8mo and that was the first time i resorted to consistent bedsharing. it really changed my life and i was able to enjoy being a mom again. my second baby wouldn’t allow me to put him down in his bassinet, so he’s been sleeping next to me since we brought him home. i love sleeping next to my babies and am so happy i made this decision for my family, despite our culture pushing “independence” and disconnection at night.

if you’re in the US, you won’t be given any resources on safe cosleeping and will likely be shamed for even mentioning it to your ped. truth is, MANY parents do it at some point and won’t admit to it because of the stigma. what’s worse is many parents cosleep in unsafe ways, bc of the lack of info, and that’s what increases the risk of SIDS, etc. i assure you there are safe ways to do it and that you shouldn’t feel ashamed for supporting your baby to sleep. they are biologically programmed to seek comfort and connection with their caregivers and that doesn’t change simply bc it’s nighttime.

i haven’t dealt with silent reflux and i hope it improves for your family. it’s heartbreaking to not know how to help a baby bc they don’t have the words to explain what they need. i hope that if you do continue cosleeping, that it helps both you and your LO get the rest you need. sending hugs

ETA: i forgot to mention that my first started STTN at 15mo completely on his own. i promise they will all sleep independently with time, some need a little more support than others. you’re doing everything right being there for your LO, hang in there!

 

[christfollower19]

@summerwillow Thank you it is good to hear that it's going to get better.

 

[pacman1989]

@christfollower19 Hey ! My son also had silent reflux, colic , the works. What worked for us eventually was consistent famotidine medicine from the pediatrician , I had to skip evening solids for awhile and do most of them in the morning or early afternoon. It got MUCH better when he consistently became a tummy sleeper. Once he could roll independently I would put him down on his stomach to sleep (obviously don't do it if they can't get there themselves ).

We also did hit some major sleep regressions at 6 months, and right around 9 months. Mine was a MISERABLE teether for multiple weeks leading up to teeth.. like a few days of hell, reprieve a few days, repeat, then finally out. His first few teeth were honestly the worst . All that movement is still happening under the gums and my guy was very sensitive to it.

Hang in there !!! I cosleep with my guy but after around 12-13 months he just sleeps all night with no wakes in my bed. It started to really improve at 10 months ish

 

[debsie22]

@pacman1989 Hiya! Not OP but u have some questions. I feel like our baby has been teething on and off for 6-8 weeks now but nothing seems to be happening. What were the signs you were seeing?

 

[christfollower19]

@debsie22 Inconsolable crying, arching her back when laying flat, sleeps fine upright/on you/carseat, lots of hiccupping, lots of gas, belching, extremely disturbed sleep.

 

[debsie22]

@christfollower19 Thanks! Makes it hard because she already does these things because of her reflux

 

[christfollower19]

@pacman1989 Thank you! We might try to stop doing evening solids. We are giving her prevacid at night and it is slowly making a difference. Do you know if famotidine works differently than prevacid? It might be worth switching meds if it does in a couple weeks if it's still not working.

 

[samu]

@christfollower19 I don’t have great advice, just solidarity. My baby is much younger, just 2 months, but has horrible silent reflux specifically at night. I’ve tried holding her up for an hour after feeding, cuddle curl, basically anything you can try. Her pediatrician doesn’t believe she has reflux and her only suggestion is to cut out dairy(she has no signs of a dairy issue. and we’re also changing peds). The only thing that worked for us is chest cosleeping. I know it’s not ideal, and 8 months might be too old I’m not sure, but if you think it might be possible it has been a lifesaver. Upright/belly sleeping, up until recently, was the only thing getting us to bed before literally 7 am. I believe cosleepy on instagram has tips on how to chest cosleep safely. The only thing I’m unsure about is if an 8 month old would be too big or restless/wiggly to do it safely. Like I said not great advice but worth looking into if worst comes to worst.

 

[kickep]

@samu Chest sleeping is the only this that works with my 3 months old baby with severe silent reflux. Did you ended up cutting something from your diet or did it resolved on its own?

 

[debsie22]

@samu I’m sorry your pediatrician is disregarding your feelings, if there is doubt again with the new one you could perhaps ask for an oesophageal pH test to be done. It’s unpleasant but the results were pretty clear in our case, even if she didn’t have the required amount of events it showed her stomach acid was much too acidic and a clear link with when she’d start crying.

I posted this elsewhere in the thread but dairy is linked to reflux in half of the cases. So it could be the only symptom you’re seeing is her silent reflux. We went on medication for our baby and things improved initially but then got worse - her symptoms got a lot better once I cut out dairy (I was EBF).

 

[19vini89]

@christfollower19 Reading your post, it really feels like you're going through the wringer with your little one's sleep issues. Eight months in and it sounds like a real struggle, especially with the silent reflux and the teething on top of it. I remember when my kiddo was that age, it felt like I was constantly trying to figure out the next puzzle piece in the never-ending sleep saga.

The whole Prevacid journey and thinking you're over one hurdle only to hit another? That's so tough. It's like you get a glimmer of hope and then, wham, back to square one. And the contact napping? Totally been there. It's like they have a sixth sense and know the exact moment you try to sneak away.

It sounds like you've tried a lot, and still, she's waking up every hour and struggling to stay asleep. The fact that she's more comfortable on her side but keeps rolling back is frustrating. And I totally get the feeling of just giving up and bringing her into your bed so everyone can get some semblance of sleep.

You mentioned she sleeps better on her side but always rolls back and wakes up. Have you tried using a sleep positioner? Sometimes they can help keep babies in a more comfortable position, though you'll want to make sure it's safe and right for her.

I remember feeling exactly like you're describing - the guilt, the exhaustion, the feeling of being at a loss. Co-sleeping can feel like the only option, even though you know it's not the best long-term solution.

It’s really important to know that you’re not doing anything wrong. Each baby is so different, and what works for one doesn't always work for another. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to help her.

If you haven't already, maybe take a look at sleepbaby.org for some different strategies or advice. Sometimes a fresh perspective or a new idea can make a difference.

And most importantly, hang in there. It does get better. You're doing an amazing job in a really tough situation. You're not alone in this, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Take care of yourself as much as you can, and remember, this phase won't last forever.

 

[christfollower19]

@19vini89 thank you.

 

[rapberrylatte]

@christfollower19 You should feel more guilty if you sleep train a baby. The key is to submit yourself to safe bedsharing. When doing it properly, baby never fully wakes up and you breastsleep all night.

 

[dayssola]

@rapberrylatte My 6 month old still cries when I’m switching boobs lol. Not sure if he fully wakes up though. Any tips? I usually crawl over him

 

[rapberrylatte]

@dayssola Don’t switch until waking from a sleep - but if will cry no matter when, probably just a temporary phase - switch quickly lol

 

[dayssola]

@rapberrylatte Haha yes I try to switch quickly! I only switch bc he unlatches and keeps relatching looking for more milk once he has emptied one side lol