7 month’s no sex drive

[scaredtodeath]

Hello fellow dads, I’m looking for some insight. My wife is 7 months post partum and has no sex drive. She’s exclusively breastfeeding/pumping. I was just curious on how long this period lasted. Obviously I’m helping with the baby, washing bottles and pump parts, giving her time alone, I cook the meals, etc.

 

[musicada]

@scaredtodeath Same happened to me, it got easier when I just stopped focusing on it because there was so much else happening. It will come back eventually, give it all time…you guys have a lifetime together.

 

[scaredtodeath]

@musicada I try it’s just so lonely. She falls asleep so early I just lay in bed next to her playing on my phone. She doesn’t like cuddles or being touched because she’s “touched out” from the baby.

 

[tg4j]

@scaredtodeath This is very common. I promise it gets better.

 

[mess]

@scaredtodeath We just had our third baby yesterday and I was just thinking how it’s going to be at least 6 months for me when I read your post. With our first it was a full year. The second it was 7 months. Totally normal, just hang in there.

 

[scaredtodeath]

@mess I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for nearly the entire pregnancy also.

 

[lsky]

@scaredtodeath It sucks ass. Many of us have been there. Find an outlet for your frustration and have someone you can talk to about it, my two cents

 

[musicada]

@scaredtodeath Yep yep yep

 

[michaela1800]

@scaredtodeath My wife put this in perspective for me once, and I completely got it. It's not that she isn't attracted to you or something like that, it's that she is "touched out". All day and sometimes most of the night she has someone attached to her, pulling at her top, breastfeed, crying, holding on. Always there and hardly a break. Then she finally gets the little one to sleep and can relax untouched, until...

It's normal, it'll get better.

 

[srmichae]

@scaredtodeath Yeah. Didn’t really come back for my wife until our second child was a year and six months. It takes time

 

[nhadlock]

@scaredtodeath Totally normal.

Open communication helps but at the end of the day, like Phil says, you can’t hurry love.

 

[bscutter]

@scaredtodeath Breastfeeding killed my wife’s sex drive. Once she stopped it returned. She heard a similar experiences from her other mom friends.

 

[ryb9000]

@scaredtodeath Don’t focus on it too much. Once you guys start to get more adjusted to your new normalcy it will come back. Keep telling her she’s beautiful, plan a date night, tell jokes, or whatever you did before and whatever her love language might be.
My wife and I try and remember to laugh and still have fun. Honestly having fun with our son is great and we both find each other more attractive when we are demonstrating being good parents. Good luck.

 

[markthesmurf]

@scaredtodeath 5m pp mum here and she could also still be feeling weird about her new body, as well as what others have described with being touched out? It's hard to feel desirable when you've had tiny hands pulling at you all day

I dont know if its possible but maybe try making time for the two of you if you are able to leave baby with a relative for a few hours? A nice dinner and conversation just the two of you might help you reconnect that way and help her not feel like just a mum for a bit. Good luck to you both!

 

[amyb5]

@scaredtodeath Everyone on this thread … have your wife go to a Regenerative medicine doctor . It’s an easy fix. You can thank me later.
Just google “ regenerative medicine near me “

 

[roryam]

@scaredtodeath Going on four and a half years. Good luck.

 

[scaredtodeath]

@roryam These are the stories I’m terrified of. I’m sorry but I couldn’t handle it.

 

[roryam]

@scaredtodeath It sucks. All I can do is be patient and hope for now. Not going to be away from these kids at their age over it.

 

[zn2309]

@scaredtodeath This can happen. My wife’s was gone for nearly 3 years.

She was touched out and had a traumatic birth and suffered with post partum

 

[dren60]

@scaredtodeath It lasts as long as it lasts. I imagine it's hard to feel sexy while being super hormonal from breastfeeding.