6.5 month old- waking every hour

[arrachidi]

I’m hoping someone has some advice for me! My 6.5month old son and I have been Co-sleeping almost from day 1.

He just doesn’t seem to be able to connect his sleep cycles at all! He actually feeds 2-3 times a night. But like clock work he wakes, and goes 0-10 hunting for my boob! I always give him a minute to see if he will settle but he escalates quickly.

We’ve had a few things to contend with the last 2 months, other the usual sleep regressions and developmental leaps-we’ve had bugs & colds etc plus the poor thing has had a time of it with his teeth; he’s got 2 bottom and 4 top already, he’s also allergic to ibuprofen so he’s been powering through with calpol. The teething gels and crystals don’t seem to help. It’s been brutal. But now the teeth are through I’m unsure what could be waking him every hour other than just to nuzzle. He wakes with a cry each time and always has done but it’s definitely got worse. Not wanting to make this post too long I’ll include a little backstory incase it’s relavent as im pretty sure I caused this!

He was very poorly when he was born with a very high infection, I had a traumatic Labour and as a result of everything being so far out of my control I was obsessed with breastfeeding successfully & getting my milk in asap after an emergency c-section. I wouldn’t let them formula feed him at the hospital, I spent 72 hours straight expressing tiny droplets of colostrum, as soon as my milk started to appear I hooked myself up to a machine and didn’t come off until I was completely engorged and had enough to feed twins!! I was very ill myself and frightened for my poorly son, so I wasn’t necessarily thinking rationally. I was able to breastfeed successfully, he got better and we were discharged. Only 2 days later we were readmitted with her another infection and i became paranoid my milk would dry up. I expressed and also fed him directly as much as possible and as soon as I got him home I just started co-sleeping. I think partly because I was just so worried he was going to be taken away again and in my delirious head I thought it would strengthen my milk supply. So he was presented with the perfect opportunity to feed and nuzzle all night!!

We are now almost 7 months into our lives together and he is perfect. He’s a fit and healthy 19lb chunk of love, and we still EBF (can you say that when they’ve started solids?! ) and cosleep. However; almost 7 months of 40min chunks of sleep have been manageable (accept during the brutal teething…evil evil teeth!) but its beginning to take its toll.

I’m not expecting him to sleep through the night, he’s doing baby led weaning and is EBF so he will need to feed. But I’d love some 3-4 hour chunks of sleep.

His bedtime routine goes: bath, story, song, feed to sleep. He goes down between 7-7.30 and goes into crib (since 5 months old) and stays there -with me going up to ‘feed’ him as he wakes for his hourly check-in. This continues until I come to bed, then he comes in with me.

I’m happy to keep cosleeping, but it would be wonderful if eventually he just slept through in the crib and my husband can come back to the family bed… I’m hoping that will naturally evolve after he gets longer chunks of sleep.

Any help, advice welcome. How can I help him connect his cycles? Preferably without sleep training … or will he suddenly just get it?

Sorry long post!

 

[katrina2017]

@arrachidi Our stories are so similar, mama. Sending love and prayers for you and your perfect babe! Quick side note— co sleeping does indeed protect milk supply. Your body and mind were highly in tune with natural instincts!

the teething is HARD. My bet is the waking is solely due to the teething. My babe does the same thing and some nights are absolutely brutal. Every babe is very unique. I just want to encourage you that this period WILL pass. I know it’s hard. Because it is. However things will get better. It won’t always be this way. Your babe will in his own pace begin to stretch out his sleep cycles.
I highly recommend homeopathic Borion Camilla Drops and Earthley Teeth Tamer for those hard teething days.

you are doing everything you can and you should be so proud of yourself!

 

[radioactive7]

@katrina2017 My baby slept through the night for like 3 months … then the teeth came. Sometimes I swear she wakes up thinking “F*CK WHY are these still in my MOUTH?!” It was bliss and I thought I hit the baby lottery. She slept like a champion. Last 3 weeks …. Up 3-4 times a night. Oh well it was nice while it lasted.

 

[erik44]

@arrachidi If your son wakes up every hour, but only feeds 2-3 times per night, can your husband take part of the night with the baby? He can cosleep and bring him to you when it’s time to feed. That would give you a longer chunk of sleep for now. My 8mo also has lots of wakeups, often to feed but not always. Hubby and I take turns. It’s hard but more manageable than one parent taking all the wakeups!

 

[arrachidi]

@erik44 Thanks for your reply! Sadly my son will only
Settle down with the boob! My husband can rock him back to sleep with his magic sway but as soon as he puts him down he will wake up again. On bad nights my husband will come in and take him at 5am so I can get a couple
Of solid hours before he has to leave for work. My husband is a teacher and has a long commute with a brutal schedule and as my son will only sleep being swayed by him then that’s all he can manage with his schedule!

 

[katrina2017]

@arrachidi I also recommend co-sleepy Instagram! She has lots of good advice and introduced the floor bed for her little baby and it worked out great for her family.

 

[arrachidi]

@katrina2017 Thank you so much for your support & comments! I will check out that Instagram and look into those drops x

 

[katrina2017]

@arrachidi Hi again! I was thinking of your post and wanted to also share that
Genexa (acetaminophen without the artificial coloring) is absolutely fantastic for teething if the homeopathic medicine isn’t quite cutting it.

Also— I would look into “wake windows” fit for your babies age. There is an Instagram I believe is called “hey sleepy baby” that talks all about wake windows to support healthy infant sleep.

When I came across this knowledge is changed the game for us. I knew how long my baby could stay awake and how long her naps could be give or take to overall help our coming nights. I just remembered how when I was aware of her wake windows, our nights became significantly better and she began to have longer stretches.

 

[evans26]

@arrachidi Hey, first of all I want to say a massive well done. You did so well getting your milk in and trusting your instincts to refuse formula and everything else you did so please be proud.

My 8mo is very similar to yours, and we didn't cosleep until 3.5 months (when the regression hit) so I doubt it is something you have caused. My LO wakes every 50 mins or more frequently and has done every single night since the regression. We've worked with two sleep coaches who have helped us nail our daytime routines but nothing changed. The only thing left for us to try is traditional sleep training with controlled crying or CIO but I'm not keen (no judgement just not for me).

We've tried meds for acid reflux, I've cut out dairy and soy, and we've had a tongue tie revised. None of these things helped sleep. One sleep coach thinks LO has an underlying ENT issue so we are waiting to get that looked at. She is convinced something else is going on and so am I, but maybe I am just clinging to some naive hope that it is something fixable. This could be the case with your LO or it could not.

It has been immensely hard and the only way I have survived is by splitting the night with my partner. He sleeps 9pm-2am then I sleep 2am-7am and when I wake up I pump, which produces enough for a bottle for the following night for my partner to give her.

Sending solidarity

 

[arrachidi]

@evans26 Wow, this does sound just like us! We are currently trying medication for silent reflux. And it all started around the first sleep regression too.

I’m loathed to get a sleep coach because I’m sure they will just tell us to try sleep training. We’ve had many many conversations about trying one of the gentler ones but my son will only escalate if we come and try to calm him without feeding. He isn’t calmed by our presence, just my boobs! I think he just gets more frustrated and screams more! So it would probably need to be CIO or nothing and I just can’t do that to him or us!!

I’m sorry you’re going through it too. It really is brutal! Sadly splitting the night like that just isn’t an option for us right now with my husband’s job and commute but I’m glad you have found something that works for you!

I get utterly sick of people telling me what I have done wrong.. I have friends who have great sleepers and they think they have done something right and I’ve done wrong and it’s infuriating. I also have friends who really dismiss my situation and just tell me ‘it’s normal, he’ll be fine’ and I just want to scream… no… this is not normal! Normal is a baby that can sleep for around 3 hours or more at this age - not 50-60minutes is ONLY!

I, like you suspect an underlying cause but also worry I’m inventing things in order to have something to blame! And therefore something that can fix it!! Right now we are trying reflux meds!

Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone x

 

[evans26]

@arrachidi Yes, I feel exactly the same as everything you have said! I think mostly sleep just comes down to a baby's personality and it is so rarely anything the parent does.

I can also assure you it is NOT normal as two professional sleep coaches have told me that

I really struggle talking to mum friends about it because they will be like "oh man I'm soooo tired he was up 3 times last night" and I want to scream at them that they don't know how lucky they are!

Edit to add: if it's any comfort, we worked really hard with one of the coaches to get my partner to be able to rock her to sleep at bedtime instead of me feed her to sleep. We managed it successfully but it made ZERO difference her wakings. Trust me it is not anything you are doing wrong

 

[kudot]

@arrachidi Sorry for you! My LO was just like this. Each nap I had to try to connect, and at night it was hourly wake ups for months. I have no advice but just to say you’ll get through it. My LO is 10 months now and she started sleeping longer stretches. Last night she woke up 2-3 times early in the night (like around 8-11pm) and then slept till 6am. I actually woke up feeling rested! Also sometimes it would get better for a few days and then get worse again so we I don’t even know if we are through it yet

 

[maxlo009]

@arrachidi I held the baby to sleep for months but got long stretches in the cot when the holding wasn't needed anymore. So anecdotally I wouldn't think the frequent wakes have anything do to with cosleeping so early. It's also excellent for breastfeeding, your hard work paid off.

We get the frequent wakings with teeth and illnesses. Which seem to be constant unfortunately. Slightly shifted bedtime hours help us when it gets bad. Dad goes to bed a little bit sooner and gets up earlier.

When baby was a bit smaller I had tons of pillows propped in different places to help me sleep through being constantly latched. No quality sleep though haha

I've never attempted soothing in any other ways then with boobs as it's the quickest. Non the less we go through phases of frequent wakes and longer stretches. Seems to make no difference, just temperament

 

[thomasleonard]

@arrachidi Can you try a pacifier? My LO cosleeps and the sleep regression hit us hard. We had those hourly wake ups for over a month and that's when we decided to cosleep and it helped ( she still wakes up 3-4 times a night but we get 2 3 hours stretches after her 2 feeds). Within those 3 hour stretches she's sometimes up and ready to start crying but I am a light sleeper and as long as I can get the pacifier to her, she goes right back to sleep. I imagine sucking on your boob must keep you up longer and make it harder to fall asleep.

Also want to say it does get better. It was a month of all bad nights. Then it was 1 or 2 good nights a week. And now we're slowly at a place where it's 4-5 good nights a week, knock on wood. A good night is when she's typically up every hour until her first feed. We finish that and all go to bed. She wakes up once in the middle of the night for another feed. Will wake up after 4:30am again every 30-60min until it's time to be up.

 

[arrachidi]

@thomasleonard Unfortunately he won’t take a pacifier never has. He just spits them out. I’ve tried holding it in but he hates it.

It’s been 4 month of all bad or extremely bad nights for us so hoping we are in your position soon!

Thanks for your support and ideas!!

 

[thomasleonard]

@arrachidi Aww I'm sorry that didn't work out! I hope good sleep is round the corner for you!

Some other things we did that may have helped, we put on a small red light only in our room. Aside from that the room is completely dark. We put white noise but I don't think it makes much of a difference. One overnight diaper change is our sweet spot. Diaper changes wake her up, so we don't do it often. If we skip it altogether her diaper feels heavy by morning and is likely not comfortable for her so the 4am wakings go up. Usually we'll do a quick change at the 10pm bottle or the 1am one when she's seeming a bit awake. Wait to finish feeding her after. Also check on his clothing? Is he perhaps snuggling to you for warmth? Our LO runs hot so if I sometimes dress her in too many layers she'll be irritable at night. Too cold / too hot could be waking him up. And check if you or your spouse snore and wake him up.

Hang in there! I know it's hard. She used to do great with stroller naps and I'd take her on long walks and bring her back asleep. 2 weeks ago she decided she can't nap there anymore and must be held. So now if she gets sleepy on our walk, she will start crying and I have to carry her the rest of the way home, then rock her for a minute and she'll sleep. Sigh!