5yF, painfully shy, fearful of everything

[mynameisabby]

Hi all. I have a beautiful and smart 5y girl. By all accounts, she is a healthy and normal child.
She was advanced a year in her crèche group.
She wanted a bike for her Bday at the start of December. On her bday, she was practicing riding on her bike. That was the last she did.
This morning, we asked if she didn't want to ride her bike / practice riding... she she just froze up and started crying, saying she is scared...

Her mother and I are hands-on parents. We are n involved, and she is raised to do things independently, and she does. This is one part that I don't seem to grasp or know how to handle.
My is deathly afraid of many things, certain loud sounds, unless she's the one making them. Talks our heads off, but doesn't make a peep when around our friends or family... there are people in our lives who have never heard her talk...

As an example of stuff that makes her fearful, for example, if my partner and I move the furniture around to change up the look of our rooms...

I understand that there are so many variables to consider. But I'm just seeking advice. Will probably have to see a professional about this, but any help do.

 

[shyamolishah1]

@mynameisabby Neurodivergent? I was a bit like your daughter as a child. A few months ago I was diagnosed with ADHD and Im gonna be 45 yrs old next week. Getting an eval wouldn't hurt.

 

[emilyjolene]

@mynameisabby It sounds like it maybe time to look into an assessment. I agree with the other commenter on here who mentioned possible autism, as it can display in girls as anxious and fearful especially of new, overestimating, unpredictable things or things that cause change. Depending on how you are encouraging independence it could be making this worse and she maybe doing more independent things out of fear of not having them done at all and burying that feeling so you're not seeing it. I would possibly step in to start giving more support and work on obtaining an assessment.

 

[johny111]

@mynameisabby I was also like this as a child. I was terrified of people, even to the extent of being afraid to talk to my own parents. I lived in a state of perpetual fear of all people for all of my childhood. People would often ask my closest friends if I was mute because I talked so little. I would hide from people when they’d come over and I would always separate myself from the group to be alone.

I am not on the spectrum, however, through therapy I was taught that I have HSP or I’m a Highly Sensitive Person and score very high in the test for it. I would start by researching HSP in children. Watch some YouTube videos, they are an incredible resource. If you rule out HSP, I would talk to a therapist to see if they can’t help her build some inner-confidence.

Honestly, there was really nothing my parents could have done to help me, I had to grow out of that fear on my own and anything they did to push me to be social only caused me to regress further into myself. The more they pushed, the more fear I gained. I finally became fed up with my fears and took on a job that would force me to interact with people. It changed my life. I spent most of it feeling like an outcast and learning to stand in my own power is what shook that fear from me.