Starting the process to becoming divorced, and I'm looking for 50/50 schedules to propose. I like the idea of 4 - 3 - 3 - 4 as a step towards 7-7 so each parent deals with each day of the week and knows and is involved with all aspects of the kids activities - BUT, our kids have some activities that happen every 2 weeks, so they would always be handled by the same parent. This brings me to the question of, is there something like 4-3-3-4 or 7-7 that lets both be involved with activities that happen every 2 weeks?
50/50 Schedule that has both parents knowing all the kids activities?
- Thread starter billquinn
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- co-parenting
@billquinn I’ve done 5-5-2-2 for several years now and it works great. I have every Mon/Tues, dad has every Wed/Thur and we alternate Fri-Sun. I love that I have set days, makes it easier to schedule things in the future.
Ex and I both attend almost all games and school events, regardless of who’s “day” it is. For practices, whichever parent has the kids is responsible for getting them there.
I couldn’t imagine only being able to attend 50% of games due to 50% custody.
Ex and I both attend almost all games and school events, regardless of who’s “day” it is. For practices, whichever parent has the kids is responsible for getting them there.
I couldn’t imagine only being able to attend 50% of games due to 50% custody.
@jrbert91
As someone new to co-parenting, and who is having it forced upon them, I'm having trouble with the concept only being around the kids 50% of the time
I was going to ask another question about how parents organize stuff for themselves when the have 50/50 custody that isn't always on the same day - but it seems you've organized it so you always have a couple of days a week to yourself, so you could join a soccer league or whatever on those days.
Most of the stuff our kids currently do don't have many shows/games/events, but I expect we would both attend if there was something big, (that said, when the older one was playing soccer last summer I think my wife only went to one of the games). However, at the moment I'm not sure how friendly I want to be with my wife after this is all done - see my first comment for reasons on why!
As someone new to co-parenting, and who is having it forced upon them, I'm having trouble with the concept only being around the kids 50% of the time
I was going to ask another question about how parents organize stuff for themselves when the have 50/50 custody that isn't always on the same day - but it seems you've organized it so you always have a couple of days a week to yourself, so you could join a soccer league or whatever on those days.
Most of the stuff our kids currently do don't have many shows/games/events, but I expect we would both attend if there was something big, (that said, when the older one was playing soccer last summer I think my wife only went to one of the games). However, at the moment I'm not sure how friendly I want to be with my wife after this is all done - see my first comment for reasons on why!
spookydawg77
New member
@billquinn Why do you want to be involved with all activities? I've been coparenting for 4 years now, and honestly, things go much smoother if both parents aren't involved in all aspects of everything, if there's some things they do with one parent, and some things they do with the other. Keeping things separate avoids a tonne of potential conflict, and I don't know about your relationship with your ex (and it's only early, it will evolve, maybe for the better, typically for the worse), but setting things up to avoid conflict tends to result in much smoother parenting than anything else. 5-2-2-5 works really well for this because it means each parent has the kids for the same weeknights.
It does sound to me like the crux of the issue here is that you're struggling to accept the reality of co-parenting. You do have to let go of the fact that 50% of your kids lives are now going to be lived without you. That's the reality. Don't try and come up with a complicated and hard to manage schedule that will end up being bad for many, many reasons just to satisify one anxiety that you have. The number one priority here should be the kids, not your anxiety about being away from them, and for kids, the simpler the schedule, the better.
What you will find is that what you are considering as important now will be completely different to what you consider important in 1 or 2 years time.
It does sound to me like the crux of the issue here is that you're struggling to accept the reality of co-parenting. You do have to let go of the fact that 50% of your kids lives are now going to be lived without you. That's the reality. Don't try and come up with a complicated and hard to manage schedule that will end up being bad for many, many reasons just to satisify one anxiety that you have. The number one priority here should be the kids, not your anxiety about being away from them, and for kids, the simpler the schedule, the better.
What you will find is that what you are considering as important now will be completely different to what you consider important in 1 or 2 years time.