4 months and 4 weeks. Sleep regression.

[brunohill92]

Around March 6, baby girls sleep turned into a nightmare. Before she was down at 8:30 pm to 6/7 am with one or two feedings between. March 4th, we transitioned her out of the swaddle cold turkey because of rolling. All of her needs are met throughout the day and night.

Now her naps are max of 45 mins and average at 30 mins even if it’s contact nap. So she’s getting about 2-3 hours of daytime sleep but total of 13.5 hours of sleep in 24 hours.

Her sleep schedule is 8pm to 6/7 am. BUT she wakes every 1.5 hours with a rare 3 hour stretch. I’m guessing she isn’t connecting her cycles. I rock or feed to sleep. She is not sleep trained. Honestly, her crying even for a few mins breaks me. But if this is a skill she absolutely needs to be trained for then so be it. But if it’s something she will develop on her own then I’d rather wait.

Should I look into sleep training? What method is best? She’s turning 5 months on the 4th. Should I wait until 6 months??

 

[needadvice2]

@brunohill92 Every baby is different! They all eventually learn independent sleep- for some it might take a few weeks and others a few years. My sister has 3 children, she treated them all exactly the same and assisted them to sleep. Her first child was an extremely poor sleeper and at 6 months she tried CIO but after a month gave up and her baby's sleep eventually improved. Her second baby naturally just taught herself, she would put her down awake and she would independently fall asleep, didn't do anything different to her first. Her third is somewhere in the middle after the regression he improved but still has some nightwakings. As I said each child was treated the same regarding sleep- fed or rocked to sleep until they learnt to sleep independently themselves. I think it all comes down to the temperament of the child! Do whatever feels comfortable for you but know that your baby will eventually learn to sleep independently.
There are also more gentle sleep methods which may take longer to get results.

 

[teamsesh]

@brunohill92 We sleep trained at 4 months (after getting the green light from our pediatrician) in the thick of baby's regression. So, I don't think there's any reason to wait until 6 months unless your baby has some developmental reason to wait (check with your pediatrician).

I'm pretty sure that the regression is what causes most parents to turn to sleep training. She will "develop on her own" eventually, but that could mean years and years of poor sleep.

 

[jesussaves623]

@brunohill92 We had the same problem at the same age! I tried Ferber (checking in at periodic intervals that get longer and longer) but the check ins only seemed to make things worse. We finally gave in to trying full cry it out a few nights ago. It broke my heart but it worked. The first night was 45 min crying, the second was 35 min and last night was 10 min. He slept for 3 hours each night before awakening for a bottle and then another long stretch before a second overnight bottle. Something to consider if gentler methods don't work first.

 

[fizh]

@brunohill92 We had a great sleeper until the 4 month regression hit at 3 months and her sleep got worse and worse. We slept trained at 4.5 months and followed this Etsy guide and it was truly the best thing we did https://www.etsy.com/listing/165077...click_sum=6356c540&ref=shop_home_recs_1&crt=1
I was so nervous but it worked so well. We just got back from international travel and we had to do some sleep training again but overall she has been such a great sleeper since doing it. We did the Ferber method.

 

[maxmunro84]

@brunohill92 FWIW, I never did sleep training and mine did figure it out on her own in about 5 weeks! Now at 5 months + 1 week she’s sleeping 11-12 hr nights with just 1 quick wake in the early morning to feed. We put her through a lot of transitions during her regression to try to help her sleep better but absolute best thing was putting her in her own room after first moving her out of the bassinet and into her crib in our room to get her used to the new bed. The crib is more comfortable and We were 100% disturbing her when she was rooming with us. She went from 3-6 wakes per night + false starts to just 1-2 wakes after we moved her into her own quiet sleeping space. I had heard people say that the separate room was a game changer before and I was thinking “you’re probably just less responsive”… maybe there’s some truth to that, but in my girl’s case, she needed a bit of room to fuss and figure things out. We’re watching the monitor constantly and we do hear her when she wakes occasionally- she usually just fusses for a few min and puts herself back to sleep. It’s a lot easier to give her a shot to self soothe when we’re not right there and she’s like “what the heck guys comfort me already!”

 

[joerogan311]

@maxmunro84 Same here, took 5 weeks for our son. He still wakes up 3-4 times at night but things have got so much better. I suspect that he's now still waking up quite often because of teething and/or minor cold.

 

[fuoco]

@brunohill92 This is our story too. Her waking up every 1.5-2 hours has been going on for a month now. I thought it would eventually stop by itself but so far no luck.

 

[lordduncanburnewilke]

@brunohill92 It’s very much up to you, but when my daughter went thru the regression we decided to sleep train (we did Ferber and it worked very well and very quickly within just a couple days). I’ve heard that they’ll usually get past the regression on their own, but I honestly don’t know how if the fact that they’re sleep cycles are maturing resulting in the frequent wake ups continues to happen until they are able to connect sleep cycles, which can take months, and when they wake up they need you to help them get back to sleep, so it’s a bit of a vicious cycle. Of course, every baby is different. But my opinion is a few nights of crying is worth it to help them sleep on their own

 

[brunohill92]

@lordduncanburnewilke So I tried for a night and gave up 2 mins in. LOL. But last night was awful so I’m thinking I’m just going to suck it up and let her cry. Did your baby cry hysterically? Mine was crying as if she just got her shots so I picked her up quick.

 

[aries_113]

@brunohill92 I hear you I can’t stand to hear my baby cry, I don’t know if training is for me

 

[hams]

@brunohill92 You can also modify Ferber. When I did it with my oldest, I checked at 1-3-5 minutes the first night. It was ridiculous, but it still worked, and it helped me commit to it By the time he had an extinction burst (ours only ever went 45m, two times), I had seen the upside of sleep training, and felt okay with it!

 

[brunohill92]

@hams I totally did the 1-3-5 and still couldn’t do it. so, no picking up? Extinction burst as in the longest baby cried? 45 mins is a long time in my head what time should I cap the extinction burst? The other comment said 2 hours but mannnnn i can already cry just thinking about it.

 

[lordduncanburnewilke]

@brunohill92 Yup, wasn’t great! But honestly I had been going out of my mind with lack of sleep so I think that helped me get thru it. It’s so harsh but turn the sound on the monitor down, make a pact with your partner that you’re sticking to it, take turns going in to soothe if you do something gradual like Ferber, and watch a funny movie to take your mind off it

Another thing that made me feel better is that my pediatrician fully recommended it and some other friends of mine did it as well and their kids are completely fine. Having all that in my mind helped. I had asked my pediatrician what a breaking point would be as I was worried she would cry all night. She said that if you pick them up they’ll know there’s an end to it so you have to be consistent however, if they cry for 2 hours straight there’s something else going on so that also helped me to be like, ok that’s the max we will let her go

The max she ever cried was an hour when she went thru an extinction burst on night 5. They really do take to it so quickly. Good luck!

 

[brunohill92]

@lordduncanburnewilke Soothing is anything but picking baby up correct?

Thank you so so much for your input!

 

[lordduncanburnewilke]

@brunohill92 Yes! We rubbed and patted her tummy while also shushing