I am freaking out cause I feel like I don't know everything I need to know to be the best support person I can. I want my wife have a great experience but I feel like there must be more than just breathing and holding her hand. Any suggestions from you veterans of the delivery room?
4 -days from D-day and I am freaking out (x- post predaddit)
- Thread starter harrys
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@harrys Know the plan. When/If she can't speak for herself be ready to take over execution of the birth plan. Don't be afraid to kick a doctor out of the room if they are having trouble with the epidural or IV or not following the plan or just making one of you uncomfortable.
Once the baby comes you may need to be in 2 places at once to keep an eye on both mama and baby.
Hand holding, distracted through conversation and just being there are huge.
Once the baby comes you may need to be in 2 places at once to keep an eye on both mama and baby.
Hand holding, distracted through conversation and just being there are huge.
@harrys To add to what has already been said: You may need to be the one to keep unwanted guests away, if there are any. Also, at the hospital, nurses will gladly be the ones to do this job for you if you ask! Depending on what time of day your wife gives birth, she may have limited food options and she is going to be HUNGRY, so try to plan ahead and arrange for you/someone else to get some delicious food for her. Other than that, be present and you'll do great!
@harrys My wonderful husband (who is squeamish when it comes to blood and stuff) assisted our home birth.
Tip 1: never say never. When the time comes you do what you gotta do.
Tip 2: practice these phrases --- "What are the risks?"----"is there an alternative option?". Hint, there are alternatives most of the time.
Tip 3: encouragement. Smiles, compliments and showing positivity. Freak out somewhere else don't bring that in there. You can tell her about it afterwards
Tip 4: get that fucking camera no where near her unless she asks for pictures. Please.
Tip 1: never say never. When the time comes you do what you gotta do.
Tip 2: practice these phrases --- "What are the risks?"----"is there an alternative option?". Hint, there are alternatives most of the time.
Tip 3: encouragement. Smiles, compliments and showing positivity. Freak out somewhere else don't bring that in there. You can tell her about it afterwards
Tip 4: get that fucking camera no where near her unless she asks for pictures. Please.
christianseeker1
New member
davidnoich
New member
@harrys I second the comment about knowing the plan. Be prepared to be her voice.
Bring lots of snacks for both her and yourself! You might be there for a looong time!
A heating pad and low back massage were crucial for me becAuse I had bad back labor pains.
Otherwise, hold her if she wants to be held, tell her how amazing she is, encourage her as much as possible, and tell her you love her. Good luck!
Bring lots of snacks for both her and yourself! You might be there for a looong time!
A heating pad and low back massage were crucial for me becAuse I had bad back labor pains.
Otherwise, hold her if she wants to be held, tell her how amazing she is, encourage her as much as possible, and tell her you love her. Good luck!
enduring_saint
New member
@harrys The best thing I can think of is to go to the library and try to get "The Birth Partner" and/or any similar books and try to read them as fast as possible.
It's also worth noting that you can feel pleasure and pain at the same time, and only focus on one. So, if you can do something to make her feel good while she's having contractions, she might be able to focus her attention on whatever you're doing. The trick is to find something that feels good to her. That might be something like massaging her, or fanning her, or even something sexual if the situation permits. Some women even report having orgasms during birth, though I honestly can't imagine that being true based on my extremely limited experience.
For kid #2, there are books and classes and stuff for this shit, man. The time to prepare is in the 9 months beforehand.
It's also worth noting that you can feel pleasure and pain at the same time, and only focus on one. So, if you can do something to make her feel good while she's having contractions, she might be able to focus her attention on whatever you're doing. The trick is to find something that feels good to her. That might be something like massaging her, or fanning her, or even something sexual if the situation permits. Some women even report having orgasms during birth, though I honestly can't imagine that being true based on my extremely limited experience.
For kid #2, there are books and classes and stuff for this shit, man. The time to prepare is in the 9 months beforehand.
mon4thelord
New member
@harrys id like to point out that your wife is going to be in the most pain of her life and its going to be very hard for you to see her like this! especially when ultimately your powerless when it comes to lessening that pain. that was the hardest part for my husband. also at the hospital, he was the only one i trusted. sometimes he would repeat what the doctor said to me just because i didn't believe the doctor. your gonna be the one she trusts the most in there! so make sure your kind but honest.