3 Week Old, Baby Blues, First Time Mom,Help? (x-posted from /r/mommit)

[mark500]

Hi, my name is Frankie, (age: 23) I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy boy named Lokii on 1.24.2014, and this is my first post in any community so, here goes..
It's been three weeks since my csection and I have been feeling overwhelmingly weepy, hopeless, and like a failure to my son because I'm having trouble functioning day-to-day with the new stresses of being a new mom. My boyfriend (Biagio, 31) works 14-16 hour days in a restaurant that he just opened in Oct. He is wonderfully supportive, helpful, and positive, but even with his reassurance, I'm still feeling really down. Before being discharged from the hospital, my doctor put me on 150mg of Wellbutrin for my anxiety, which has helped with that, but anxiety and depression are two different things. Also, I was given a Depo birth control shot. I have an appointment on Monday to talk to my doctor about whats going on, but I was hoping anyone could help me with some advice for coping through the weekend. Googling advice has been fruitless for me (listening to music, watching funny shows or movies, etc..) and I just end up crying through them and eventually feeling worse as a result. Was there anything you guys found to be surprisingly helpful for the short term, just to get me through until Monday?

 

[enoch524]

@mark500 Take some YOU time. After your little man goes to bed tonight: Take a hot bath or shower, wash your hair and shave. Give yourself a manicure and or pedicure. Have a nice meal and a glass wine. Do whatever sort of self-pampering you used to enjoy.

Being a new mom is such a difficult transition. It's very easy to forget to take care of yourself being so focused on your baby. None of this will rid you of depression, but it may help you feel a little more like your "pre-baby" self, and help you get through the weekend.

Also remind yourself that you are in a hurricane of post-baby hormones. Don't be so hard on yourself!

 

[babyrn28]

@mark500 I am a SAHD, so this advice may not be exactly what you need, but here goes.

First, you probably haven't had a full nights sleep since you came home. Have the BF, grandma, aunt, someone help you out for a night and get a full nights sleep. If your breast feeding pump ahead of time, or if bottle they should be all set. GO TO SLEEP.

Second, As others have already said here find a bit of time to pamper yourself. Make you feel good about you. At that stage they are asleep more then not, drag the sleepy swing into the bathroom, or just outside and pamper away (he is still within arms reach if something comes up).

Third, Hormones, Hormones, Hormones. It took almost 6-7 months before the postpartum wore off on my wife. Your not failing, you are not a horrible mom because of them, its natural, just go with it (that's probably not the right words but im going with it).

Forth, Relax take a step back and just breathe for a min. When my wife went back to work after 6 weeks, I thought for sure that I would mess up and he'd be dead within an hour. I was stressed to the max. I bet I checked to make sure he was breathing 500 times that day. Sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself, just like i did. Just take a step back, as long as he is fed and diaper is changed he will happily sleep most of the day away. Trust me they will scream if something is wrong.

Fifthly and not lastly. This one may sound weird, but get yourself ready in the morning as if you are actually doing something. I found that although its nice sitting around in sweats and a T-shirt everyday, you will actually feel better about yourself if you actually get dressed. Even if the farthest you are going that day is to the fridge and back, just having that back to normal feeling will help (even though things are far from back to normal).

Just take it one day at a time, as time passes your confidence will grow, and the anxiety will lesson.

 

[oceanwaters]

@mark500 Your body is going through a huge hormonal change. I find myself really sensitive to hormonal changes and I can become extremely depressed due to it.
Talk to your doctor and ask them for help. There's no shame in it!
It's great you're recognizing it early on so something can be done.
I know it's hard. I've been there. Just really try to focus on the positives in the mean time. You made a baby! That's awesome! All they need is love, food, diaper changes and sleep. Meet all those and you're mom of the year.

 

[mark500]

@oceanwaters thank you very much for your positive words!