Since my oldest son turned 3, bed and wake times have been a struggle, to say the least. My wife and I have come up with a bedtime routine that works if we stick to it. We give him choices for PJs, books, where he wants to sleep - he has a bed but has preferred to sleep on the floor in his fold out chair the last few weeks - and how many checkins he wants before he falls asleep. Getting him to stay in his room after he wakes up is another story.
We are trying to get him to follow a wake up light, but that isn’t really working. Since he’s moved out of his crib he has free reign of his room and can open his door. Every morning he wakes up before his light turns on and I calmly put him back in his room and tell him it’s not to get up yet. Most days this quickly devolves into me putting him back in his room several times while he cries and screams at me until I turn his light on and he gets the ok to leave his room. He wants me to take him downstairs to play, no matter the time. We have been using a magnet chart to reinforce the behavior, but it hasn’t really worked. He gets a magnet if he stays in his room and if he does it every day he gets a toy. If he does three other tasks throughout the day he gets a treat at the end of the day. My wife does not want to put a doorknob cover on his door and we don’t want to put a baby gate over his door because that will just encourage him to open his door.
The way I see it the issue: 1) before he was in his big boy bed, and before his brother was born, whenever he woke up was when he got to go downstairs, so he’s used to that. 2) I’m reinforcing his desired outcome because when he opens his door or walks into my room I have to put him back, and he wants interactions with me. 3) he can leave his room any time he wants. 4) he has become dependent upon us for his soothing/playtime. 5) the reward of getting a magnet/toy is too removed from him staying in his room.
I feel like I’m failing everyone in my house by not being able to figure this out. My wife more or less takes care of all the little baby stuff because he’s 6 months old and dependent on her. I have been in charge of our 3.5 y/o and it’s been really hard. I feel villainous putting him back in his room knowing he really just wants to hang out, but I’m so burnt out from waking up so early all the time. It dampens my day waking up and immediately having a power struggle. Up until recently he’s been really good about any changes. He was very easy to sleep train and whenever there’s been an undesired behavior he’s been easy to teach. I feel like if I could get him to stay in his room and do gradual extinction - check in on him, tell him he’s doing well, gradually go longer between checkins - then he’d be fine. Other than hoping he gets better I’m at a loss for what to do.
TL;DR: 3.5 y/o wakes up early and won’t stay in his room until the desired wake time. We have a consistent bedtime routine, he gets activity during the day, and we have a reward system in place to reinforce good behavior.
We are trying to get him to follow a wake up light, but that isn’t really working. Since he’s moved out of his crib he has free reign of his room and can open his door. Every morning he wakes up before his light turns on and I calmly put him back in his room and tell him it’s not to get up yet. Most days this quickly devolves into me putting him back in his room several times while he cries and screams at me until I turn his light on and he gets the ok to leave his room. He wants me to take him downstairs to play, no matter the time. We have been using a magnet chart to reinforce the behavior, but it hasn’t really worked. He gets a magnet if he stays in his room and if he does it every day he gets a toy. If he does three other tasks throughout the day he gets a treat at the end of the day. My wife does not want to put a doorknob cover on his door and we don’t want to put a baby gate over his door because that will just encourage him to open his door.
The way I see it the issue: 1) before he was in his big boy bed, and before his brother was born, whenever he woke up was when he got to go downstairs, so he’s used to that. 2) I’m reinforcing his desired outcome because when he opens his door or walks into my room I have to put him back, and he wants interactions with me. 3) he can leave his room any time he wants. 4) he has become dependent upon us for his soothing/playtime. 5) the reward of getting a magnet/toy is too removed from him staying in his room.
I feel like I’m failing everyone in my house by not being able to figure this out. My wife more or less takes care of all the little baby stuff because he’s 6 months old and dependent on her. I have been in charge of our 3.5 y/o and it’s been really hard. I feel villainous putting him back in his room knowing he really just wants to hang out, but I’m so burnt out from waking up so early all the time. It dampens my day waking up and immediately having a power struggle. Up until recently he’s been really good about any changes. He was very easy to sleep train and whenever there’s been an undesired behavior he’s been easy to teach. I feel like if I could get him to stay in his room and do gradual extinction - check in on him, tell him he’s doing well, gradually go longer between checkins - then he’d be fine. Other than hoping he gets better I’m at a loss for what to do.
TL;DR: 3.5 y/o wakes up early and won’t stay in his room until the desired wake time. We have a consistent bedtime routine, he gets activity during the day, and we have a reward system in place to reinforce good behavior.