1 or 2

jeanne7

New member
Hi everyone! We (30yr F, 37yr M) have a beautiful 9 month old girl and I was so sure I’d be one and done in the newborn phase, but I’m suddenly feeling differently about it. Sure, there are benefits to OAD and struggles to have 2 (like if one baby cries at night, doesn’t it wake up the other kiddos!? 😂). Anyway, I’d love to hear your real life stories about going from 1-2. Part of me feels like it will be easier than 0-1 because i know more now. Who knows haha. Thanks!
 
@jeanne7 Haha I’ll just say that they don’t necessarily wake each other up as much as you’d think BUT if they wake up separately, you wake up twice as often! We have a 3 year old and 6 month old and it’s definitely really hard some days but mostly awesome and rewarding. And I keep telling myself it’s going to get easier as we age out of the challenging sleep phase. You get better at managing everything at the same rate that it gets harder, if that makes sense.
 
@jeanne7 Zero to one was a slap in the face—sooooo hard for me personally. I didn’t know what I was doing, she was a tough sleeper, and I just found it HARD. I swore I was one and done. I’m typing this as my first is asleep next to me while my 7 month old son is laying on me lol 1-2 is so much easier in the sense that you’re a more confident mom. This one is also a better sleeper with a great temperament, so it helps. But it’s tough in other ways. It was me and my daughter all the time because I was home most days (I worked very part time) for almost three years and then overnight that changes and you have a little baby that needs you SO much. I didn’t anticipate how much I’d miss my toddler. Like truly, deeply miss the time I spent with just her. Even though I’m with her every single day still, it’s just a different dynamic (which is 10000% fine) but it was hard for me to transition into. And of course, you’re starting all over again—diapers, night wakings, starting solids, teaching them all the things. It’s a lot with a toddler. But I don’t for one second regret having my second and think about having a third on the daily 😛 If you’re on the fence, I don’t ever think you’ll regret having another, but you might regret not having one.
 
@jeanne7 I found the transition from 1 to 2 to be fine. Your life gets turned upside down when you have a child but for me nothing major really changed when we added another.

There's 2.5 years between mine and there may have been some questionable amounts of screentime some days in the newborn phase but everything was fine. Sure it takes longer to leave the house and things like that but not twice as long.

My 2.5 year old was sleeping through the night and potty trained when baby arrived which also helped when I was trapped under a baby during the day and made nights about the same as the first time, not twice as bad. Also shout out to my husband who took both kids for a few hours every morning in the newborn phase so I could get some bonus sleep since I did all the night feedings.
 
@jeanne7 Soooo, my second had colic. Like full blown I brought them to the 5 doctors colic because I was convinced something was wrong. No baby should ever cry that much and just not stop… Ours did.

We hit 6 months now and the colic phase is over and I feel like I can start enjoying life again. Months 1-5 though? Holy shit.

I had to buy my toddler nose canceling headphones. We got kicked out of a grocery store. The babysitter (my cousin) called us after 45 minutes and said that we needed to come back because she couldn’t handle him. The pediatrician took the baby at an appointment and walked around the hall because she said I needed a break, then told me it was okay to just leave him in a room if I ever needed a break.

I don’t regret having her, I love him, but having one child is SO MUCH easier than 2. Like SO MUCH.
 
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