fencesitting

  1. H

    I just don’t know

    Have a 7yo son, he’s great but exhausting. Working from home and distance learning can be tough. Fiancé would like to have one together (different dads). I’m worried because I’m so tired at the end of the day with my 7 yo. I’m getting old so we need to decide fairly soon. The age gap would...
  2. R

    Logistics going from 1 to 2

    My husband and I have been fence sitting for ages on a second but we had a conversation that is leaning more towards it being a "yes". In our hearts we definitely both want a second but the logistics and financial burdens are feeling a bit much. I'm finding myself trying to figure out the...
  3. M

    1-4 and no idea

    Just rambling the things my husband and I talk about regularly. We are both on the fence about having another child. We have an 18 month old little girl who is the light of our lives. She’s so wonderful. Do we want to roll the dice again taking a risk with another pregnancy, birth, child health...
  4. S

    I know I shouldn’t have a 4th

    We have 3 amazing kids, 5, 4 & 2 and there’s nothing I love more than being their Mom. I’m a SAHM with my in laws living next door and my parents 10 minutes down the road, so babysitting or if we need an extra hand has never really been a problem for us (such a blessing!) My husband has a...
  5. A

    How can I tell whether I really want another, or just feel like I should?

    Our first is about to turn one. Before getting pregnant I was adamant I wanted two. However, the pregnancy, birth, and newborn experiences have seriously shaken me and now I'm really on the fence. If we do have a second one I'd want to start trying soon so that they're not too far apart in age...
  6. N

    2 under 2 with no support?

    I have a 6 month old currently and go back between being One and Done and wanting him to have a friend close in age. If we were to have another one I would either want one soonish or not ever. The thing is that we don’t have much support. My husband’s family is nearby but I don’t fully trust...
  7. W

    Factors that helped you decide?

    36 y.o. married female with an 18 month old son. Husband is 42. Son was an IVF baby. We have 1 embryo in storage. I would like to use it. Husband is pretty much OAD. What factors came into play when making your decision to only have 1 child? Or is there anyone in this group that actually ended...
  8. C

    Just want help in making a decision about OAD

    My husband and I before we got married, spoke about having 2 kids. I wanted 2 till I had one. My son is 22 months old. I had a traumatic birth experience - where I had to go for an emergency last minute C section. My pregnancy was meh. TBH I wasn’t even dead set on having the first one but went...
  9. M

    Will my only be too lonely?

    My husband (28) and I (26) have one beautiful 2.5 y.o. boy. I'm considering having another. My husband says he will go with my decision, but is happy with just one. My big predicament is whether my son will be happy without other children around. He has no cousins and will not for many years...
  10. P

    Starting to contemplate a second

    Sunday we (me 35F, husband 42M, daughter 3F) went to the an indoor playground. Husband had an interaction with a little boy who was probably 12-15 months old. After the little boy walked away, husband turned to me and said “Maybe we should have another one.” Since that moment I cannot stop...
  11. M

    She is one and done but I am a fencesitter, need some opinions

    We are 40 years old and adopted our son 2 years ago. She is pretty much done because she is tired, but rarely she would say: I would consider when he is older 6-7 years old. But… by then we would be super old to go back to dealing with a toddler. I kind of want 1 more because sometimes, the...
  12. G

    Why is this so hard…

    I was 44 when I gave birth to my first LO. I was lucky to conceive naturally only after trying for 6 months. I always wanted more but since I didn’t end up meeting my husband (44) until later in life, I wasn’t sure if I would have any at all. I had a lot of PP anxiety after the baby and it’s...
  13. C

    We have everything working smoothly now... should we rock the boat or be OAD?

    Our LO is 12 months old soon, and we are coming up to when we could, if we wanted, start trying again. (The 2 yr gap reccomended after a caesar). I turn 36 this year, so I wouldn't want to delay too long if that was the decision we made. My SO and I have perhaps slightly different reasons for...
  14. J

    Are my concerns not worth choosing not to have another, and will I regret it?

    Edit: if my title double negative makes no sense, I think I agree with you, sorry. I posted in oneanddone, and I think it very much firmly pushed me into the one and done camp. If interested, However it would be nice to hear some differing perspectives to help navigate these feelings. Our...
  15. S

    I made a list of pros and cons of having a second (to convince my husband to be OAD)

    I tried to show that the cons outweigh the pros. He is still trying to convince me otherwise... Pros Babies are precious and their sentimental value is through the roof Current son (2M) would have a playmate (also a rival for attention) Society seems to expect that I have more than one Husband...
  16. R

    Always thought I was one and done…. Now my kiddo is 6, I’m 38, and there’s some wonder…

    First of all I’m premenopausal and haven’t had a period in a long time sooooo it might not even be possible… which is probably why the idea even came back to me. I love being a mom. I had an easy pregnancy and birth, loved having a baby, AND I struggled with being super overwhelmed when I had...
  17. P

    Time to roll the dice?

    There’s a big heart vs mind problem in our home. We have one child (6yo) who we adore but Christmas felt so quiet. I imagine having another child puttering around and it brings joy to my heart. We are finally in a stable financial and emotional position to have another. On the other hand...
  18. P

    Am I just with the wrong one?

    I (29 F) have an 8 year old son from a previous relationship that really messed me up about kids already (getting left as soon as i found out i was pregnant and was left by the father, was together 5 years) I have been with my makeup/breakup boyfriend (32 M) for almost 3 years. Not sure if I...
  19. R

    Exploring the idea of OAD

    Hi all — really happy to have found this sub! Just starting to explore the idea of OAD, not sure what I’m looking for with this post, I guess just sharing my story and seeing what people’s thoughts and comments are, and maybe some similar experiences? My husband and I have a wonderful, happy...
  20. C

    Feeling nervous

    I feel this place will be supportive as I deal with a bit of hesitation as we approach trying again. DH (35) and I (37) have one son, just over 2. He is an amazing kid, so inquisitive and cheeky and loving, but also extremely high energy with a bit of a death wish. Typical boy I suspect. (But...
Back
Top