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@acuriousgirl My eldest did not have meltdowns due to frustration with doing something (her meltdowns were more sensory related and social overwhelm). But my 3 year old is all over that action! I think of it as his drive for autonomy combined with an intense need to be independent on tasks that...

@acuriousgirl Good luck! My personal experience with meltdowns is that you don't do anything during them. You are just there. Or, you are actively protecting yourself or siblings from injury. I adjust the environment as much as possible to prevent meltdowns, but once the child is in...

@acuriousgirl Ross Greene's CPS method is a more concrete, applied strategy in the non-behaviourist parenting philosophy world. Maybe having a more step-by-step method would align better with your "gentle" parenting philosophy. LIVES IN THE BALANCE. His books The Explosive Child and Raising...

@rockdrik Thanks for those ideas! I will keep plugging away on this :) We have used feelings/emotions wheels, charts, icons, colors, faces, etc. Everything under the sun. She won't talk about feelings. She won't acknowledge that she even has feelings. She doesn't cry (even as a toddler!). She...

@rockdrik So... yes and no. I think my niece needs a lot of time to process and come around to an idea like you said. But, it doesn't matter the strength or accuracy of your argument. Some arguments she seems to eventually accept and others she just says, no. It's been very challenging over the...

@sharon1965 Thanks, I will look into that book. It's not defiance. It's anxiety (for this kiddo). Her anxiety is so high that her mind is always creating rules to control the anxiety. Those rules then end up controlling the environment. Then, the PDA-ASD rigid thinking further cements those...

@sharon1965 Thanks, we are hoping to supplement this very brief introductory story with some other published stories that will go into more details. My sister is a biologist so hopefully she will have all the proper chemical/hormone names ready to go. One of our issues is that the child...

@gavenv Is he open to reading parenting books or just short articles, etc or does he expect you to justify everything by pre reading and summarizing? If he accepts books, anything by Mona delahooke will be a benefit. She also wrote small blogs on different topics that are free so might be a...

@writinggirl Thanks. My daughter is 3.5 but doesn't know our transitioning relative well enough so I might eventually write a story for her but she will just know the person as the transitioned person. It's very complex when talking to young kids... Good luck to you too!

@jk4418 Yes, I initially wanted to differentiate sex and gender in the story, but the child the story is for equates sex with intercourse and refuses to use the word for anything else (part of her rigid thinking and rules, I guess). So unfortunately, if I use the word sex in the story, she will...

@oluwayinka Yes, I hear you and I did want to start it that way, but after talking to my sister, we've decided that unfortunately, this strategy wouldn't work well for this particular child because 1) she shuts down when questioned about anything that she doesn't bring up and 2) she defines...

@cgsad I really like the statements you have used. I've replied to a couple other comments about why we can't use the word sex in the story :( But, I'm hoping that we will come to a point where I can write a second more detailed story and I'd really like to incorporate your statements because...

@umaid Maybe google the problem with using "containers" for babies. Also google babies sleeping in car seats (which is dangerous because they don't necessarily have the muscle strength to wake themselves up as their airway slowly collapses while their head tips forward). Also, read your car seat...

@manofgod7 I totally agree! But, she doesn't seem to identify as masking. I feel like these concepts are sort of accepted by adults with autism but it doesn't always seem like the children draw the parallel. She also gets upset with autism and it's traits being discussed overtly so it's hard to...

@nyimbi I know! It's super interesting. That's all I could find when I googled "talking to kids with autism about gender". It was all articles about your ASD child coming out to you as transgender, but nothing about how to talk to ASD kids about gender identity in general. Which, given the...

@frances69 Thanks! Will look it up :)

My 10 year old niece (dx: high functioning ASD, ADHD and Anxiety) has very rigid/black and white thinking about most topics including gender. If you bring up an alternate view, she tends to escalate very quickly from 0 to 100 (angry). We need to discuss the topic of gender identity with her in...

@anonymous95 Hahaha, I forgot about Teacher Tom when I changed all the names! Needless to say, it is not that Teacher Tom :)

@leematthew1234 Thank you for noticing! I'm really glad that my focus on looking at the situation from the child's perspective is coming through. I think many children's books are about teaching a concept or telling a story that an adult thinks a child will like, but my strategy is to focus on...

@leematthew1234 I wrote a "social story" about COVID-19 for my 2.5 year old upon recommendation from a psychologist I have seen about my daughter's anxious temperament. I have read quite a bit of info on anxiety and found that some of my daughter's post-covid behaviours (more tantrums, more...