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@mikeisraelite72 We had genetic testing done, so we do know it's a boy. For us, it's less about the sex of the potential child, and more about the feasibility of caring for them.

@richardcrowson1 That's great! Do you mind my asking which donation agency you used?

@richardcrowson1 I read your comment to my husband. I never thought he'd be comfortable with this, but he surprised me and said it might be a good option. I didn't know there are open embryo donations! I wonder if the major IVF clinics do that.

@chosenremnant Yes, I agree! Through everyone's comments, I realized that we were going to try for another for the wrong reasons. For now, we're OAD. But we will continue to pay for storage for a bit longer to let the OAD decision sink in and be sure that our thinking doesn't change.

@isabella63 My OB and 2 reproductive endocrinologists have all said that I could experience preeclampsia again, but they won't say how much of a risk there is. I just wish I knew that there was say a 50% chance that I'd experience it again. I'm a numbers person, so making a decision is hard for...

@isabella63 This is exactly what my husband is afraid of! It was very touch and go during the first birth experience for us, too. Given that I'm now 42 (not 39 like back then), I'm worried that it won't be any better but could be much worse. So, right now I think we're leaning towards not...

@katrina2017 I think I could be happy with 4, but not necessarily right away (during the baby/toddler years). I am beginning to think that I just don't have it in me to go back to day 0 again. I feel concerned when thinking about my and my potential baby's health. My husband was totally...

@loveis I really like that way of looking at it. Yes, they did give us the gift of choice!

@enoughhomeless Lol! Yes...we've obviously been paying for storage for years now, too. It's nice to know we still have the option of doing another transfer, but we will need to make the final call pretty soon. We were together for over 16 years before we had our first, so it was a huge...

@isocoma Yeah, I think it is about grieving what was planned. Like I said before, for 4 years I've envisioned this boy in our lives. But we have also changed in the past 4 years, and parenthood has been WAY different than we expected. Baby #2 might be a more chill baby than our first, but...

@mikek401 I feel the same. If from the get-go we had planned to be OAD, I think I also would have felt more at peace with choosing that.

@isocoma Thank you! I often wonder if it's just the baby/toddler stage that is what's difficult for me, and all would be great once I helped a second child through this phase. There are no guarantees, though, so it doesn't seem wise to count on that. I think that I'm just spent. And since I...

My hubby and I did IVF back in 2018 after trying to have a baby for 7 years. I was 38. Our first egg retrieval cycle led to 1 embryo. We had always thought we wanted at least 2 kids, so we decided to freeze that embryo and do another egg retrieval cycle right away given my age. Our first embryo...