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@farmerdex It is incredibly emotionally challenging, even if you have a reasonably ‘good’ kid. Easy to get sucked in. It helps me some times to think of them as a toddler — and sometimes their thinking isn’t so far off that. There is so much pressure on them, and they are navigating a lot. I...

@abovethewaves Oooof. That’s a hard one. I try to remember that teens are like big toddlers — they have a whole lot going on and they don’t regulate well. I am not excusing the behavior, but it is helpful to contextualize. So, I’d warn against the domination style of parenting (believing he is...

@farmerdex It is really hard to see our kids in their big bodies with their big kid brains operating at a big kid level. Have you read much about teens? It helps me to realize that most of the super frustrating teen behavior is pretty normal — Poor planning/judgement, narcissism, lack of...

@farmerdex 5 years of high school sounds like a disaster for everyone. What does she think the solution is? Are there local options where she might be more successful? Also, I’d ditch the attitude with the ‘I am only paying for this once,’ for summer school. You may have a kid that needs summer...

@cuberman Pretty much. Sometimes a rare special thing can be negotiated in advance, but they tend to take it seriously. Also, for future reference — no vacations when he is supposed to be in class in college either.

@simplewoodencross From what you’re describing it seems like he might have attention issues. Has he been checked for ADD and things like that? I agree that he’s self-medicating with the marijuana, and then it’s not appropriate to turn a blind eye. But also, it might be helpful to not think in...

@farmerdex I can’t bear the thought of a 5 th year for her — mostly unmotivated teen who doesn’t enjoy school getting held back and being a year older than her peers? What could go wrong?

@lgonz Sure they do. They can be quite emotional and volatile. I found often times my son would be upset from something at school or with a girlfriend, and that’s exactly when he’d go from 0-60, And it’s so much of a part of being a teenager, I can’t imagine otherwise

@lgonz I found the opposite to be the case — they are like toddlers in big bodies. Yes, something is bothering them, but often it has nothing to do with the parents.

@k3at These years fly by— I would be at all the showings, most likely. But, that’s just me. I’m going to be honest and I thought you were headed towards you were going to miss one showing of the play, not all of them. I’m not trying to do mama guilt, but I would have a hard time not being there...

@metsuko No small talk until 23 - -possibly 25. I used to talk to my son about EVERYTHING. He is 19 and it has been like you describe for a while. .. so much going on in their teenage brains; they are barely hanging in there.

@jaharrttttt I always thought I’d never be the worst— and yet here I am. Slightly better now that he has been at college a semester. The eclipse may be passing!

@thedevilaintthatbad Oh, it is so much easier said than done! I am right there with you.

@farmerdex I thought it was like a surrogate? 😂

@thedevilaintthatbad I think the answer is now is the time that you step back and worry about preserving your relationship with your son and letting him start to make some of his own decisions. I know it feels very critical because it’s scary to think about a kid going out into the world without...

@farmerdex ‘Lone’ parent, people—- meaning solo Had me googling what a ‘loan parent’ is.

@kentonio I am going to echo the safe place theory. Your daughter sounds 💯 normal teen. You did not do anything wrong, and she will not always be this way. Yes, it is exhausting and dispiriting. If I hadn’t had friends who were truth tellers, I would have thought my son was a total disaster...