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@bondo No, no, no. You don't have a "dad bod", you have a "father figure"!

@jackiecline It's a terrible pair of lessons: "Nobody else can be the focus of the day, I always have to get something as well", and "I will never be the focus of the day, someone else must always be appeased." You could get two well-adjusted kids out of it, or some combination of a narcissist...