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@chang I hope it helps! It takes some of the combativness out if some things can go from being wrong to being different. My step mom sees different =wrong=inferior so we never did get along. I gained self confidence when I realized I wasn't not messed up.

@chang Ask the therapist if both of you can take the Meyers Briggs test. It is a well known personality test (not diagnose disorders) I had difficulty with my parents and took this before I got married. It helped me understand that my brain works very differently from my parents. Understanding...

@chang Have you framed it as proving she's responsible enough for driving and working for pay? That might motivate her some. I would also focus on shared areas of the house and not her room. Get her to write up a list of task expectations and the desired endpoints with your input. Let her do...