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@thebrokenman30 This sounds terrible. I’m sorry you are forced to deal with this. I would encourage you to try to not obsess about it. It sounds as if nothing of substance can change until your court date, so your anxiety is for naught. That said, do retain an attorney if you can. And do have...

@jeremygray36 Divorce is hard for the kids, in countless ways. Just keep doing what you are doing: reassure your daughter that you and her mom both love her unconditionally, and that the divorce is in no way her fault. Also, do your best to be consistent and dependable going forward, as your...

@yaharise I’m sorry to hear that you are having a hard time with things. While I do resent how my ex behaved at the end, it sounds as if you might have swung too far the other way. There may be a reasonable, happy medium that you could find regarding alimony and child support. Money certainly...

@yaharise This resonates. I was not perfect, by any measure, but my ex was ruthless when we did finally split. From my perspective, she essentially replaced me with an old boyfriend. She then proceeded to demand exactly what she needed for herself in order to build a new situation, regardless...

@needsomeadvice You and I agree. Regular schedule is regular schedule. We rotate Christmas, though, regardless of “whose day” it fall on. And we share responsibility of child care 50/50. We each pay half for all camps and after care and the like. And we cover half of the “no-school” days...

@megbot I try to keep in mind the fact that it’s better for my kids if their mother (my ex) is doing well, and being a good mom. It was easy to wish for bad outcomes for her, or for her to be a bad mom (so I could gloat and feel superior), and at first I did so. But setting aside that I was...

@jrbert91 No, it’s true, they don’t need child care. But this week ahead, I expect to be up at 4 AM, out the door by 5 AM, and not back again until 7 or 8 at night. I planned this heavy work week to catch up at work during a week when I knew the kids would be with their mom. Sure, the kids...

@jrbert91 So, if the kids have a week off of school, neither can plan a week’s vacation? Because it wouldn’t fit within a 2-2-5-5 routine? Like, clearly no 7 day trips? Or if hypothetically the kids had 5 no-school days in a given school year, and they all happened to fall on “your” days within...

@needsomeadvice It’s not about whether she takes them to the Bahamas, or just plans to be home with them. There are 22 “out of school” days per school year. 10 of those happen to fall across two “1-week” breaks. The remainder are scattered here and there (except they get 3 or 4 at Christmas)...

@panheadvic Dad never said he couldn’t handle more time. Dad said he couldn’t ONCE AGAIN adjust his life to meet OP’s needs. When my ex first left to be with her AP, I had many people assuming and suggesting that my new role would be the “every other weekend dad” When I pushed back to say...

@christfollower34 You are making my point for me. The kids can be with their mom, whether she has planned to take time off, or whether she is working and they are alone at home. I guess it’s a valid question. I am not sure what one does if they discover that their ex is actively subverting...

@panheadvic Jeez, get a grip. So, dad can work 5 days per week, and then always parent all weekend, every weekend. Which he did for months. Why? So OP could continue on her planned trajectory, with as a little interruption as possible, considering that she left him. Dad eventually figured out...

@christfollower34 Sorry - perhaps I have been unclear. My ex is not revisiting the issue with me. It’s my daughter who is asking to come spend her April break with me. This was her ask (emphasis hers): Do YOU want me to stay here at mom’s the whole break? As if my daughter is asking whether she...

@joan316 I don’t think he’s necessarily being unreasonable. The pattern of custody that you had initially setup is fairly unmanageable, and he is beginning to feel that. So his desire to have alternating weekends seems reasonable enough. That said, there does need to be some give and take...

@christfollower34 We already had figured it out. I covered the 5 days in of February break. She agreed to cover the 5 days of April break. All told, I am covering 12 of 22 such “no-school” days in this current school year. However… she apparently communicated to my child that it was OK to...

@msmia So, that seems fine, yeah? Like, he may have preferred for all of the kids in his household to go together, and that’s fine. But it doesn’t give him the right to deny you from taking your own children on another occasion. After all, you may want to decorate and carve pumpkins at home...

@christfollower34 I told her both things: that I had arranged to be at work all week, and that I did so because I knew they’d be with their mom this week. And that was because I’d got to have them with me for a week in February, and it would be unfair to also have expected to have them this week...

@christfollower34 You are not comprehending, or I am not being clear. We set the schedule long ago. The kids are with their mom. I told my daughter that I would be at work all week. I told her that her mother and I had planned to share the two vacation weeks, as we share everything else. The...

@christfollower34 A full time demanding job IS common. But it’s also why I can’t adjust my schedule to account for her own schedule challenges every time that she asks. No, it’s not her fault that I get behind. It’s my own, and it’s cyclical (I fall a bit behind when I have the kids, and I...

@jrbert91 Agreed. If the kids have no school, I can still work, and I could leave them to take care of themselves. If that was the case for a single day, I might do that. I’d prefer to take advantage of the day, use PTO, and spend the time with them. But if I did need to work, I’d try to work...