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@rawralphadawg Just saying that she's not really gaming the system, and it really would be a waste of time for her to try for a year at 41 unless she made that decision fully aware of the odds, because time at that age is precious. I would be surprised if that was truly the standard at your RE -...

@rawralphadawg What I was saying is that that the guideline to try for 6 months does not apply if you are over 40. The ACOG says trying is not required at all over 40 and you should go in immediately.

@rawralphadawg When you’re over 40, trying for a year or even 6 months is not required. The guideline is to try for a year under age 35, 6 months age 35-39, and to go immediately to the doctor at 40+. At 41 she is very likely to struggle - even an IVF cycle is only successful 13% of the time at...

@mcg1102 This is awesome! This line stood out to me: I knew that sperm-friendly lubes didn't help but just didn't cause harm, but it's extra interesting that even the "harm" is only in vitro, and doesn't actually affect pregnancy rates in real life. Makes the whole TTC lube question seem only...

@vl32 Just a few things to mention - one is that SSRIs are not the only type of antidepressant/anti-anxiety drugs, and it could be worth trying others. Another is that you didn't mention therapy, and that can also make a difference. Third is that if you think that the hormones triggered by...

@okmarius If you drink alcohol like a beverage and not like a drug, it doesn't affect how your body functions. My husband and I love craft beer and generally have one a night after dinner, a couple on weekends. I occasionally have wine instead. It's not enough to get drunk or anything. It's...

@josephjurg I'm sorry! But it really doesn't seem to mean much except for when you'll likely go through menopause and how well you might respond to fertility drugs. Your eggs are still just 26 years young, which is more important than the number of them!

@lida09 I like this study's charts, especially Table 2, which gives percentiles by age. This graph is also kind of neat. I wouldn't worry about PCOS just because your AMH is only borderline high - you'd see it in other indicators like LH, FSH, AFC, long/irregular cycles, etc. Generally I'd say...

@lida09 DevBio linked one of my old comments (under an old username) but just want to add that I was definitely concerned that my early ovulation (CD 11-13 usually, as early as CD 9 a couple of times) might be linked to low ovarian reserve. However, I had my AMH tested and it was 4.7 ng/ml at...

@sourdough FWIW, I had my first at 34 when I was halfway through my second year of grad school (2-year program) and in an internship. I had front-loaded classes and graduated on time. So it can be done. How many children do you want? At 34-35 your fertility is unlikely to be an issue and if it...

@morgannicole555 Many people survive all sorts of non-ideal situations, but the question isn't whether you would survive, but what is better. For many people they manage but their lives are worse and they and their whole family systems are less happy.

@chris516 I don't think rates of birth trauma are higher with vaginal births than c-sections. I would guess the opposite, since many women who have c-sections only have them when something goes wrong. In general, c-section recovery is a lot more difficult than vaginal birth recovery - it is...

@mcg1102 This is awesome! And totally accords with my intuitions just based on hanging around here and chartstalking - it has just never seemed like CD 14 or earlier is common enough for it to be the average, and luteal phases longer than ~13 days also seem relatively rare. I love when...

@amyamelia It's dumb because it's backwards. I dunno, it's foreign to me - in my circles, no one would admit to an unplanned pregnancy. I literally don't think I've ever actually had someone tell me that, except for one friend in our 20s who was getting an abortion.

@amyamelia Yeah but having an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t actually imply you are more fertile than others. Saying you conceived first try, okay, but usually people who have unplanned pregnancies have been either going unprotected for a while or have been using contraception inconsistently. So...

@sourdough Well, you have 8 years to have a child before you'd be 60 when they are 18.

@amyamelia The part I don’t understand is how it implies people think it is preferable to have an unplanned pregnancy. There are entire public health campaigns devoted to trying to lower the number of unplanned pregnancies. As a kid I remember feeling sorry for my cousin after hearing she was...

@cls0583 Just as something to consider, here's an article summarizing research on pregnancy spacing - basically, best outcomes for both mother and babies come from at least 18 months between pregnancies (birth to conception). The highest risks are from and under 6 months, and 12 months avoids...

@katrina2017 I don't know if you meant to imply this but I don't think it's just childhood trauma that makes kid stuff hard! I had an idyllic childhood with super consistently loving and generous parents, so haven't really had childhood stuff to figure out, and still have trouble handling...

@jeshua Haha to me 5 definitely sounds like "a lot of kids"! It's lovely that you're so close to your siblings.