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@wearethechristiangems Lmfao reddit wouldn't let me comment for some reason. But your comment deserved to be amplified and quoted back to you. Have a blessed life.

@wearethechristiangems Girlie where was the advice? Girlie other people have been vulnerable and open with providing action plans, step by step thoughts, and their personal experiences and then we have whatever this whole chain of thought is (enable his behavior and after a few logical leaps...

@search4truth1121 I'm on a relatively shorter fuse because I'm literally expelling uterine lining, parenting a newborn and toddler, and nursing an infected boob. What's your excuse, Karen? Your antagonism appears to come from a place of defensiveness. It sounds like you're taking your chosen...

@search4truth1121 If I'm being asked to be his manager then I need to be paid like one. Close the gender safe gap, don't do free labor! Lol at the two(/three? Four?) Karen's with no sense of humor downvoting (but also blocking?) me

@savedbygrace_777 Ah I get it. I'm dumb lol. Thanks for clarifying.

@bbarb I have an individual account that he can't touch, though it's visible through our budgeting app. I figure our assets get disclosed during a divorce anyway so I didn't think of setting up another private one.

@bbarb Estranged from family (abusive people). I've got my therapist but that's about it.

@armywife78 You'd think he would know better since this is the second time I've had mastitis. At least this time he didn't say it was all in my head. Seriously. I was running a 105 degree fever and particularly unfiltered so I asked him if he was being purposely incompetent and useless.

@adrian77 Thanks for sharing your experiences. My broken bowl salutes your broken toilet seat. I guess the additional positive spin is you got to offload some of the labor to a third party male. Honestly it rubs me the wrong way that a lot of the solutions suggested here are to hire a mommy's...

@faen I'm not in a situation where I have to get divorced now for my safety but it's getting to me. I oscillate between contempt and rage. Last week I broke a bowl in five places (by accident) because my anger had no other outlet than my poor bowl of oatmeal and mashed bananas.

@melissauk Got an IUD. He's getting a vasectomy and while I know those are reversible (hence my comment about a redo family) I'm definitely waiting until after the operation to make any moves.

@savedbygrace_777 Dang. You're right. This is a good kick to the seat of my pants. Thanks.

@michaelo You're right of course (otherwise we wouldn't've gotten married). He is honestly my best friend. He makes me laugh and keeps me curious. Honestly there's a part of me that wonders if we wouldn't get along better as divorced co-parents than how we are right now.

@sweetsocalbutterfly2019 Oh I think I misunderstood your post. I see what you're saying now, yeah, agree. I was dumb not to push back on 50/50. They're an interesting bunch. BIL (the one who wouldn't get a prenup, because loooooove) was willing to fund his wife/then fiancee's expensive tastes...

@sweetsocalbutterfly2019 One of his siblings was getting married without a prenup. Dad/FIL quickly lawyered up and set the trust funds up so they would be divorce proof i.e. excluded from the split, so that none of the kids would ever need a prenup. As far as splitting up finances on a daily...

@sweetsocalbutterfly2019 I feel like my post is an illustration of the downsides, welp

@cherishedteddies Thanks, I'd like to dig in deeper. What are the green vs red flags in that conversation? I have no point of reference because my parents both worked and the grandparents I grew up with also both worked. The internal workings of functional, good relationships where one partner...

@sheogorath87 I'm kicking myself for letting this go on for almost a decade. I make almost 2x what he does but his wealth is 6x mine.

@savedbygrace_777 Yeah tired brain didn't think about putting the long-term stuff in. Just the immediate triggers. It's never about the Iranian yogurt.

@savedbygrace_777 Yes, yes, and not quite. More of the "gets angrier at the suggestion they might be doing something racist than the fact they might be doing something racist," the constant microaggressions and "othering." He used to get angry when I spoke in my mother tongue because I was...