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@onewithfaith I've been using "hey human'. I've received compliments on my scent. It's coconut, which a 2 second internet search tells me is not a tree nut, as concerns allergies. Could be worth a look.

@ericthesinner Have you tried role playing in her calmer moments? Have her be the mommy or daddy and you be a little kid. Maybe don't play "her" because you don't want this to be a guilt trip. Perhaps even better to do this with toys so it's less overt. But have her see what it looks like...