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@xjosa My mother can be a very self-centered person. She was a terrible mother growing up for a variety of reasons which I will not be spilling here. The only reason we are close and talk is because of the work we put in and her finally going to therapy. You’ve made a lot of assumptions here and...

@kyleiferous I’m sorry you lost her and are missing her.

@twaddy09 Thank you for your kind words. It’s definitely going to be unpleasant breaking the news to her. But I think there were so many great and helpful responses here that I can hopefully find a good way to craft what I want to say and minimize her upset.

@300582 My one saving grace is she lives thousands of miles away from me so she couldn’t just show up unexpectedly.

@chwalt I’ll definitely try to talk to her sooner rather than later. She’s the type that will need time to adjust.

@feelinglostagain Thank you for reminding me to see the positive side of her excitement. :)

@mikeymoo This is a beautiful response. Thank you. I’ve been trying to figure out how to word things because I want to talk to her sooner rather than later about it.

@woodnymph Yeah I told her to slow down because she's getting way too far ahead of herself when we don't even have an actual due date yet. She was like, "I know. I'm just thinking." but I know that really means she's already counting days on the calendar. Her being a labor and delivery nurse...

@mercyfollowsme Thank you for the wording! All these responses have been helpful in figuring out the best way to approach her. I’m definitely going to be firm in my decision for delivery.

@mikeymoo Your entire response is exactly what I’m afraid of. She already tries to do the professional part when she’s on the phone with me and I have to remind her that I have an entire team of specialists whose instruction I am following. Though shockingly the other day she did tell me to let...

@blackdolphin Yes, very hard! But this may be a great way to go about it. I appreciate your suggestion! So many people here have given me so many great ways to go about this.

@randyy I wish it didn't have to be this difficult! But I like this plan. I think yours combines with another user's of having "helper" vs "visitor" roles might be a good combo for me.

@lizawales Everyone here is so helpful and with such beautiful suggestions. Thank you for this wording! I think it will be very helpful in figuring out exactly what to tell her. I really like the part where you called it an offer even though it's clearly not an offer. That's good!

@bzrain59 Ooh I like that visitor line! And while I totally agree about covid/flu/RSV my mom is the type to kiss babies anyway regardless of if you tell her no. She will sneak a kiss if she can. So I am extra paranoid about her being here. She loves babies like no other. So in addition to having...

@bzrain59 My mom lives in the midwest and I live on the west coast. I am very worried about her flying in because she isn't super careful about covid anymore. Not like she should be. Maybe that would be enough to keep her away for a little bit but I doubt it. Still might give it a try though.

@siyabong Omg this is a great way to go about it. Thank you so much for this suggestion! It'll still be hard to get my mom to understand that a helper role means she doesn't get to butt in but it may be a better way to get her to understand that this is my birth experience and not hers/not about...

@chadpokey5 Thank you for this. It's such a hard conversation to have that won't either piss her off or make her take it personally. I just want to be able to enjoy our new baby with just my husband and not have my mom hovering around. It's something that I've talked about since before we even...

@jusrme Thank you! Sometimes we need reminded that we shouldn’t have to justify ourselves!

@davidluxembourg I think you're right. That's just not a conversation I look forward to. She takes things super personally a lot of the time.

To start, I’m 8 weeks pregnant and have gone through multiple rounds of IVF to get here. After a couple of losses we finally have a baby that seems to want to stick around. We are thrilled. It’s also a high risk pregnancy due to some health conditions I have. That being said, my mom keeps...