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@purnhart Ah ok, sorry I got a bit lost with the description! What about, at family dinners, you just speak your native language? It doesn't really matter what you choose. I have friends who raised their kids OPOL in English/German, and the father just ALWAYS uses German when directly...

@purnhart Why not teach the kids their grandparents languages too? One hour a day will give them a great level of exposure and help them communicate in the 'family' language so that no one feels left out... and you can't lose with more languages :D