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@ackerr TLDR: my parents were amazing parents but not very social people and they didn’t really bother to make sure I was well-socialized. I also found the only-child experience otherizing as I was already an outsider due to other factors (growing up mixed race in a super lily-white waspy...

@unsinkable Yeah, I've heard that saying too. My husband said that to me earlier today as well - that we'd be giving ourselves temporary comfort if we stopped at one kid, but we'd have less rich lives in the long run and we'd also be hurting our son by not giving him a sibling. . My response...

@katrina2017 I think this is where I'm at right now, tbh. While I agree with my husband that our lives in the long term will be fundamentally richer with another child (especially my son's life), and I feel like depriving him of a sibling would be stealing his long-term joy, I know my mental...

@katrina2017 That's what my husband keeps saying - that I shouldn't toss in the towel because it's tough right now, and we're only *delaying* the good times by a couple of years, not destroying them forever. But I just can't see it. I'm trying to run a business on three different...

@katrina2017 I just want to fast forward to the time in our lives when we can, like, be puttering around the Christmas markets in Munich or be having Christmas brunch at Icebergs on Bondi Beach with our little one(s) and they can actually hold a fork and don't shit their pants or throw tantrums...

@katrina2017 This was our Christmas. We had a horrible Christmas because the bomb went off in the restaurant.

@katrina2017 I miss eating out so much. I've gotten to the point where I will wax poetic about PUBLIX SUSHI.

@noahmetoyer Thanks for this. I honestly cannot picture life in 5+ years because all I can see is me being sick with daycare germs, my baby being sick with the same germs and waking up in the night, and me trying to do my demanding job (fortunately, I WFH) sleep deprived and sick as a dog for...

@walkbyfaith2000 We spent a lot on home renovations and don’t want an animal messing up the walls and floors. We love animals (other people’s) but pets are a no-no.

@jandrews Hah, I told him that he had to do the overnight last night and he did it! And now he knows how hard those are! Everything he complained about…I was like “yup…been there so many nights.” I said to him that before we decide on another child he has to do at least 1 overnight a week, or...

@sebe I've been doing somewhat regular therapy and I've been on lexapro since coming home from the hospital (delivery). It's helped heaps. It's not an independence / confidence / PPA thing. It's more of a thing about whether we legit can afford a second kid without decimating our cash...

@aria I’ve done therapy, i’m also on lexapro which has really helped. I just haven’t unpacked the possibility that I might be a parent to an only child, and by choice. I’ve accepted my rather crappy time as an only, and I’ve also accepted that due to my age, my son might end up being an only...

@akyzar She refuses to talk about her childhood or anything personal to me. She’s opened up somewhat now that I have a husband and child, but she still has massive walls up. In contrast to me - once I got over being the epically unpopular kid in school, I came out of my shell and became that...

@akyzar Oftentimes i got (and still get) the impression that my mom genuinely dislikes people. I’ve never seen her laugh or be amused by anything. One of my dad’s brothers actually made that remark - how he’s never seen my mom belly laugh or express any indication of amusement, fun, joy….

@akyzar My parents were amazing with me. My mom made sure I had tons of enrichment activities, she got me into violin and science camps and stem-focused private schools. She wasn’t that social and didn’t prioritize friendships (hers or mine) and she’s still a bit of a frosty misanthrope, but she...

@anushagupta I had a really, really, really shit experience as an only child so I am terrified that my son will have a similar situation. Plus, we don't have the benefit of heaps of similarly-aged cousins nearby. I basically spent from birth until age 40 (when I met my husband) devoid of...

@elvisrene10 I really appreciated this - and the inquiry about what's core to my identity. We live in the suburbs now in a beautiful home that we're lucky enough to own, so I'm very happy to put my nomading days behind me. But travel is essential to my identity. As is being an athlete and an...

@keyslammer My parents did an amazing job raising me. I just found the only child experience to be very isolating and otherizing. My parents were not terribly social and didn’t put a premium on friendships (mine or theirs), so that might have had something to do with it. I hold space for...

@2christian4u That’s a good point re: my mental health. I really, really wanted two - and I’ve always kinda rooted for our next pregnancy being twins so we could have three under two! But being sick AND caring for my son AND having to work 10 hour days has knocked me on my ass. I actually...

@keyslammer Thanks. Up until, like, today I've been pretty anti "one and done." Like I don't give a F if someone has 0 kids or 12 kids...just don't have *just one.* But after an awful couple of months of daycare germs plus an uneasy market where my business had a few epically large deals...