Search results

@sethcryllis I appreciate the solidarity honestly, it's such a tough decision.

@raymondven If I knew for sure that I WANT another then I know we could make it work. I just don't know how to know what is actual desire and what is expectations or fears talking. It's more about my age. I'm in my 30s so I don't have unlimited time, and don't want to be too old raising young...

@raymondven That's what I'm struggling with. I don't know how to set aside all these what-ifs to tell what I really want deep down. I know if we really wanted another we could definitely make it work. But I don't want to make a decision I regret. I know no mother would ever admit to regretting...

@loveis It's more about me, I'm already in my 30s so I don't have unlimited time, and don't want to be too old with young kids.

@om4e Maybe I didn't word a lot of those well. (1) I was only thinking of how much enjoyment I got out of my relationship with my sibling (and presumably it was mutual as we remain good friends) and how I wouldn't want to deprive her of the opportunity to have the same. But I take your point...

@katrina2017 Yeah. I just want to make sure if we have another it's because we actually WANT to and not because we feel pressured to provide them with a playmate or provide another grandkid.

@katrina2017 Nope, our kid is the only grandkid on both sides, and may possibly be the only one ever if we don't have another as our siblings don't seem inclined to have any. We're also the first out of all our friends to have a kid. Hence why I'm turning to reddit for these kinds of questions...

@menorah Thanks that seems like solid advice

@differentviews No advice, just solidarity, I am in the same boat as you. I was in labour for 31 hours and near the end the umbilical cord got compressed and she wasn't getting oxygen. She had to be resuscitated after coming out and transferred to another hospital for treatment for HIE. She's...

@reporter94 Thank you for this. It's definitely becoming clear that I need to wait. I really relate to the anxiety about starting all over again.

@wiscguy We have talked about it. Given our current ages and life plans we don't want to do more than a 3 year gap. That's why I'm trying to decide relatively soon.

@wiscguy The age gap is more about me, I'm already in my 30s so time is limited, and the longer we wait the older we will be with still young kids at home.

@wiscguy I listed all the pros and cons floating around in my head because I don't know how to tell what I really want deep down...

Our first is about to turn one. Before getting pregnant I was adamant I wanted two. However, the pregnancy, birth, and newborn experiences have seriously shaken me and now I'm really on the fence. If we do have a second one I'd want to start trying soon so that they're not too far apart in age...