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@reporter94 Thank you for this. It's definitely becoming clear that I need to wait. I really relate to the anxiety about starting all over again.

@wiscguy We have talked about it. Given our current ages and life plans we don't want to do more than a 3 year gap. That's why I'm trying to decide relatively soon.

@wiscguy The age gap is more about me, I'm already in my 30s so time is limited, and the longer we wait the older we will be with still young kids at home.

@wiscguy I listed all the pros and cons floating around in my head because I don't know how to tell what I really want deep down...

Our first is about to turn one. Before getting pregnant I was adamant I wanted two. However, the pregnancy, birth, and newborn experiences have seriously shaken me and now I'm really on the fence. If we do have a second one I'd want to start trying soon so that they're not too far apart in age...