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@katrina2017 Yes! after having to care for my dad at 19 and now my mom at 26, i wouldn't feel comfortable placing the burden on them even if i had 20 children. That's super interesting what your husband is working on. i wonder why people are just now figuring out how to do long term care?

@calpastor Agree! can i ask how your husband being an only led him to wanting multiple kids? I'm an only too and though i've never wanted a sibling (up until recently i've been wishing) but i sometimes worry do i feel the okay being OAD because i don't understand the value of a sibling? Because...

@calpastor Yes!! you get it!! I so wish someone knew how much my dad meant to me as a dad... and someone who could actually understand and feel that grief with me, especially since it never goes away. I resonate so much with your last statement. We feel 100% the same way. I have no doubt if we...

@muya I'm glad you're feeling better!! PP has been very hard for me, even though my husband is 50/50 and sometimes 75/25 when i just can't. I worry i'm jaded too!! Same page with the suffering. I cant see the end of the tunnel yet, but sometimes i think that a couple years of suffering with be...

@muya That's exactly where i'm torn! I have no doubt i would love another baby with all i had, and i would do everything i can to foster a good sibling relationship, and i would never get pregnant unless my husband and i knew we wanted a kid for us, not with a job to be there for their sister...

@cravenjack no i agree! and that's something we have to consider because i don't know how we could do it if another baby had any long term disabilities. It's a good thing to think about and my husband and i agree we will not have another kid unless we are okay with all outcomes!

@mila Thank you for this! You're so right, you don't know the burden until you've actually been through it. Yeah i could not care and leave her to figure it out, but she's sacrificed her entire life for me and how could i not at least make sure she's okay? It would not be to take care of us, as...

@sequiturblue I'm sorry, it completely went over my head and i went straight to defense when i thought you implied it wouldn't be best for them. i've been up since 2 am taking care of my mom after a major surgery and just got home to my baby so it's been a long day. I appreciate you taking the...

@sequiturblue It's kind of silly to compare a sibling to eating ice cream and cookies. And you kind of missed my point. We aren't leaning towards one way or another really, we go back and forth every day. We could decide to have another before she can even talk so she never gets a say, or she...

@sequiturblue For us it matters, my biggest fear in not having another is that she will have wished she had a sibling, and that's something we are 100% able to do. We have the financial means, stability and family support and it wouldn't be a problem to have another. And we are very undecided...

@nader1 I feel this!!! i was vomiting 10 times a day up until 36 weeks and was very close to having a stroke during labor. And babies are HARD. your freedom is nonexistent. It's going to be hard to go back when you can almost taste it getting so much better! We are kind of on the fence of...

@nader1 Thank you for sharing im so glad you understand. (and i'm sorry you do at the same time, it's just nice to not feel alone) I had to drop out of school to fly across the country and i was either in his hospital room or a hotel room alone for 2 months until he passed.. Nothing like losing...

@dobichlan18 You hit the nail on the head! Only one definitely holds more weight for at least most of their childhood but then what if i have awesome kids when i'm older and the rest of their life is enriched? and that's only if they get along and if they want a relationship with us when i get...

@dobichlan18 I struggle the most because apart from our time and attention, having another won't take away from the opportunities our girl will have and we have so much family in our immediate area who will do anything they need. It almost feels like if we can have a second kid why aren't we??

@dobichlan18 I will say the people i have come across that were only children that wanted a sibling also had dysfunctional family dynamics. I know making sure we have a safe environment for our girl will be our #1 priority.. the question is if it can help!

@dobichlan18 I 100% agree and that's why i came here for advice. Logically, one makes sense for us. But emotionally, and when i think about myself, i almost want to give her something that i think i never had. it's super easy to imagine what it would be like with a siliving when i don't have...

@feuerbach That's where i struggle! i know there is no guarantee that they will be close with us, or each other. I would hope that as a parent i can foster that but it's still a mixed bag. I am torn because while i do have very close friends that are more like sisters, and my husband family has...

Hey y'all!! sorry if this is messed up i'm pretty emotional right now and need some advice!!! I had my beautiful girl 6 months ago and husband and i have been firm OAD. Pregnancy was great health wise besides HG which caused a significant amount of weight loss but thankfully baby was perfect...

@ben_joy Have you tried to side lie and feed while in the bed? my almost 7 month old still feeds that way at night. Honestly it took us about a month to figure out cosleeping and what worked for us, but now it's great. I cant guarantee it will get rid of the frequent wake ups, but it's so much...