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Also to add - thank them for having the trust in you that they come to you. Encourage them to continue to do so, so you can keep them safe if a situation rises to a level where they are in danger. If you don't have empathy and express this, then the rest is meaningless.

@audranne I feel this so hard. But instead of reacting I try to encourage my son to talk to his dad. Frankly my son told me one day that he didn't like it when I raised my voice and since that day I have worked very hard to not raise my voice anymore. Even if she isn't going to change, you're...