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@allenard77 Your post hits me viscerally. I was exactly like this. Angry at 20 weeks my mom told her mom. Our truth? It was about 5-6 months old the edge of anxiety came off. It was prematurity fears, then delivery, then baby weight and milk, and SIDS. Then the reality for us as a couple...

@duke845 YES to a wiki! OP, your post is how my second time mom brain responds. Wearily, with wit and known answers. My toddler just started at daycare, cries at every drop off…and perhaps my working mom heart is just armored, but at 3am filled with guilt. My adds to wiki topics beyond...

@gordon63 Wow, a lot of thought. He is hanging a lot on you for those 2 years. Is he willing to shoulder w lot more of the mental load? I wanted 2 and underestimated effect on the less excited parent.

@gordon63 Been there! Second at 46 with ivf. First at 40. Working is hard, we are very tired people and similar economically and re travel. Think about what is core to your identity. I had to put digital nomad in my rear view mirror and travel into the future. My thoughts: YOU are enough...

@montanarxz I think he is. I get help for anxiety but he clams up.

@kayleey_your_moon Following! Might you as an educator speak to if “it’s ever too late to baby wear”? I haven’t posted for a fit check. That said at 14 weeks baby seems to hate if I baby wear. We did it too infrequently. She’s about 2 percent and 11 lbs. She dislikes the soft wraps like ktan...

@rainysunflower My two cents is you seem well poised for 2. Once your first is 3 and past the hard part of toddlerhood you may seek another. Mine are 3 years apart. I think we have more challenges with 2 than most. My husband went through a type of paternal depression after second. I am pretty...

Hospitals are running full w kids. -And the trip theoretically sounds exciting but will mostly be kid care in a new setting w kitchen, takeout, chill itinerary, awesome pools and beach. +I think I’m really asking how you weigh if travel w little ones is worth it this fall? Is spring better or...

Commenters, thank you. This was very instructive. We cancelled the trip. Back to our cooling weather here. At the least we have medical infrastructure and our doctors at home, and slightly less risk from plane travel.

@kimosabe2019 I find this quite helpful. Is there some breakdown of pediatric beds/waves of caseloads? The RSV positivity rate is a test of those children peds chooses to test? Then i also am curious how to read risk. If RSV causes 500 pediatric deaths is that high or low relative risk? Is...

@jacobtherunner It’s Maui. Looking at Monterey ca too for nearby road trip

How might you think about RSV risk for small children now? NY times writes about a twin-demic with covid, flu, and RSV hospitalizations rising. Early nov trip planned. We are that fam with a teeny baby. She is 9 months old and the size of a 6 month old. We also still mask but have a...

@tantman Thank you for this post! I sat on the fence forever! We have a 4 year old. And now….a little bean on the way. That’s a 4.5 age gap. Excited and scared and wanted a smaller gap. So yes, those of you in 2.5/ that was my hardest! So selfish toddlers can be. Since 3.25 she’s been so much...

@chopper1690 Horse, time and attention: those caught my eye. You seem clear you want to be OAD I think. It might help to compare the reality of OAD to the reality of 2, not the dream of it.

@gtorre Thank you for not taking my tired commentary as too debbie downer. We have 2. It has a physical and relationship cost at this age. I traveled a ton before but baby is 1 and its been 4 years without flying for the wee one’s health. Friends: one ivf baby, great careers. One helps people...

@gtorre I was in these shoes and don’t have brilliant advice just experience. I am a lot more tired w baby 2. Both parents have to really want it. I under anticipated the cost of care. I overestimated the energy and time we have left after the older one. Our spontaneous pregnancy after 45...

@riane87 Sounds like a nice life now! We did a second and kids are 1.5 and 6. Omg we are so tired. I love my daughter but it’s been a lot on everyone in the family. Consider savoring what you have.

@lizlovesalotofthings Informative. Seems you made a good informed decision with consensus of decision makers vs blindly ignoring science and data. Also had a tiny 37 weeker. Both parents short of stature. But my signs/risks indicated that was the correct decision at 47 years old. Just glad for...

A) yell at whining 4 year old back “well I don’t like you either” B) make pregnant wife lift kid in and out of bath C make a dinner kid doesn’t want and yell at her D) focus on his work E) let kid cry outside office door in garage while mama on her rare deadline Or all the above?! Winner...