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@matamare Yes, I mean her, but what's the alternative? Starve her child? Skip vaccines? Mismatching clothes is one thing, but not everything can just be handed over if he's not on board with it.

@matamare Maybe, but you can't just let your kid go hungry or miss important medical things to prove a point. Or at least I wouldn't.

@docmrm I also have an only child but have flown alone with her lots. The biggest help to me in the horrible toddler years was always remembering that it was a limited time and no matter how horrible it was it would be over soon. Other than that, bring a stroller for the airport plus carrier...

@nikkolas The problem is he has to be willing and able, especially stuff like formula or doctor's appointments. Those aren't things where it doesn't matter if it's not done perfectly.

@alearose Children go through phases. The thing that truly helped was visiting my country and seeing family who don't understand her community language so she had to speak my language. I understand that may not be feasible though. Realistically, a playdate with children in the US will probably...

@restyvill Yeah, I only had one child in the end because I just couldn't do it alone. Mine also has a physical job and just goes to sleep all the time. I definitely don't do his packing though, and he always forgets things so we have to go and buy stuff.

@robertnethromik No, not at all. I'm in another country where midwives do everything for birth but it's in a hospital and there are plenty of doctors too. I had an epidural. And a doctor was also at the birth.

@jhen I have two friends who got pregnant before six months and I think it was sort of an accident but not really. As in they weren't trying but didn't prevent, both had wanted families fairly close together. And neither have any lasting effects from it and hard as the first years were overall...

@godslawismylaw Yes, mine would have had more children but he bears none of the mental load and still complains all the time about being tired.

@yulia Sorry, that comment was more aimed at the one above that everyone in the boomer generation had a village. Not you, you were talking about your specific case.

@yulia Well mine didn't have any help, not everyone did.

@barjean Yeah, my job is different and I still find it hard working with my kid at home, especially as she's got older.

@gelb1472 Yes, I am working on doing that with siblings. I'll still have to travel to see my parents who can't really travel now, but knowing I've seen the rest of the family I can make the visits shorter. The last couple of years between elderly parents and very young nieces and nephews we...

@umbreon0 But you have to be really prepared to follow through.

@bongoon But this just means he does his own, which is a minimal part of the laundry load. And if I have to cook anyway it doesn't really save me work. He just takes it as a licence to make himself something easy and never cook.

@christy1984 She shouldn't but she does. No amount of it not being fair is going to make him suddenly change without some kind of action.

@relle25 No of course no expectations, but if you're the only person speaking your language it can be hard for toddlers to understand that a language is real sometimes. It doesn't do any harm to hear the odd word. Our "minority" language is English and it's definitely helped my daughter to have...

@nathan98 Yes, meeting in the middle. I might want someone who writes me poems but would settle for being asked how my day is. I don't think basic empathy and manners should be something you have to teach anyone, and if you do they shouldn't be in a relationship.

@unclemack It's the main reason I didn't have a second child. My first has always been hard to get to bed and I couldn't imagine managing her as toddler plus newborn, as I have no family help.

@relle25 I think it's nice for children to see that their language exists and is used outside of the home, but the importance of that probably depends on the family.